Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: The Market Woman

Aloha diary, 

I realise I didn't talk about my very first time in an international market, aww.  I'd wanted to but forgot? I guess. Anyways, I recall how my head wouldn't stop swivelling upon stepping feet in one, lol.

There was so much to see. And buy. And then see again. So much. My eyes couldn't take it all in at once. I nearly became dizzy. I'd gone with my sissy for some wedding shopping at the highly heard of Balogun market. 

One of the things I've come to learn so far's that, there are different markets for different commodities in Lagos. The other day, MIL took me to the market, another international market.  This time, for electronics, that'd be the Alaba international market (I keep forgetting the correct pronunciation of that “Alaba”). As in holding hands kinda taking o, lol. We'd get to a crossing, mum grabs my hand. To a rowdy place, another hand grabbing, I was just feeling amused. I'm still very much finding my footing on this soil though (it's probably not helping that I barely step out) and at the same time struggling to acclimatize to the rowdiness (the city's comprised of stuff that do not make me like a city; noise and crowd) and the same time, trying to find my balance as a newly wed.

Whew, they make it look easy. The others. Don't ask me who the others are, they're just that. On both occasions though, I'd come back feeling like this:

Lol, who wouldn't have? So much for going to the market. Until next time diary,

Cheerio

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: New year Bants

Dear diary,

It's done. Officially in the new year. It doesn't feel so new if you ask me. I wonder, should I have thrown out everything related with the last year so I'd feel brand new? Lol

So, I did attend the old/new year ritual (I talked about new year rituals here, or rather asked a question. Biko, you pipu shu ansa me), holding a watch night service into the new year.

And then later in the day, went out for movies and ice-cream with le famille et amies. A ticket was being sold for an outrageous amount hence the cancellation. Allow me to indulge in my fave peeve statement when I encounter something outrageous like that in Lagos, “it can only be Lagos”. I was shocked, a ticket that would ordinarily sell for #500 for instance was multiplied *10. *Hiss* Extortion if you ask me. I wonder if it was because of the season we find ourselves in or because it was a box office movie. Either ways, that price wasn't justified IMO.

The shenanigans that folks welcome new years with is a general affair it would seem. Witnessed some notorious joy riding in the name of “new year” celebrations, SMH. I however witnessed no touts in churches, but there was a lot of banga (fireworks) throwing. Back in the North, they'd burn tyres in the middle of roads. Don't ask me who “they” are. And how did burning tyres add up with the new year baffles me, each to their own sha. 

Another thing that surprised me is that here in Lagos, our Muslim brethren also mark/observe these celebrations (Christmas, New year). I'd thought it was a strictly Christian affair but not so in Lagos. Any excuse to do owanbe in this Lagos is always a welcome development. Besides, an owanbe that's yet to block roads and streets, is that one an owanbe? 🤦🏻 Some things tire me in this Lagos TBH. My love-hate relationship with this city won't be ending anytime soon I'm afraid. Are there things I like about Lagos? Of course.

1. Food: for those that don't know, I identify as a foodie 😋. Food stuffs' extremely cheap here. At least compared to where I'm coming from. Not veggies though (carrots et al. The North owns those). 
2. Erm... That's it! Lol,  actively searching for more reasons. Were I to be a party kinda person, Lagos woulda been for me. They're good at partying I've observed.

Unfortunately, same day, news filtered in of a loss in the neighborhood, to the cold hands of death. For a moment, I felt cold, we were barely into the year.

Well, that did put some damper on things. So for those of us that've resumed work, journey mercies tro and fro. The roads are still traffic free,

Hubby gets to work in record time these days. Can this last forever pretty please? 🙏🏼

Peace...

Happy New Year

Hi guys, this is to wish us a very fulfilling and marvelous year 2019. The election's just around the corner *cues in action soundtrack*

May your year be bright and colourful. Happy new year. New year resolutions anyone? What new year tradition(s) do you observe? 
Here's mine:

Cheers... 

2018 in Review

2018 i.e

Hi guys, it's another year wrapped to the glory of God. Thank you all for keeping in touch and at par with adnilscorner. It's really encouraging when I see comments and messages from ya'll. It's encouraging, gracias.

This review is mostly for me and some of it, for you. I'll be highlighting some posts/articles that might have been missed or that are personal faves of mine. This year, I realise I didn't do a lot of fiction. I was mostly introspective it would seem. Yeah. But in all, I'm mighty super exceedingly glad that my year's goal for 2018 which I'd outlined here, was mostly accomplished. Woo-hoo. Did I read all those stuffy books I said I would? Nah. But I'm trying, honestly. It would seem that even though I'm a book lover, I have my niche. And it ain't academic. Did I conclude my schooling? Woo-hoo. I'm glad to announce that I did. Did I save? Uh....well, I did!!! I am rather. Or I'm still on it? Heh🤷🏻

Business wise, I kinda lost steam with my Midastouch hair salon. Yo, that's my business for those of y'all that don't know. My relocation did a number on me TBH. It's not easy to uproot oneself from the familiar basically and try to grow roots in another place. But hey, that's that, working on it. Will find my balance soon enough. I hope. Which brings me to putting myself out there, did I or didn't I? This, I'm not so sure what the answer is, it seems to be a lil of both. 

So! Review's not about what happened in the blogosphere or the country at large, uh uh. I also need to officially state that the MMC series' on pause mode. Mostly due to insufficient raw materials, sad. I really liked writing about what goes on in official settings. 

The year started out on a sad note for me, lost my dad. It was heartbreaking and birthed this post. Meandered through and found myself married. Really, that's how it happened. Yours truly woke up one day and gbam! Marriage, just laik dat 😂 and then, she quit her job and relocated all the way to a city that people say “they're all mad there” lol. Note, that's a direct quotation. I seem to be putting too many disclaimers these days. Yeah, the walls have ears it's said. 

The highlight of 2018 for me's embedded in this post. I think I did a lot of meditations on God's love this year, that I wonder...

Am I still on track?

Well, gotta go now. See you shortly. For 2019, I intend to return to my first love, poetry 😍. Yes, 2018 did bring a lot of changes, but that's no excuse. Cheers... See you all next year, God willing. 😁

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: The year of Firsts

Dear diary,

A merry Christmas to you. How was it? Mine was spectacular.

Yeah, spectacularly spectacular. Experienced Christmas in Lagos for the first time and it was...hmm, dunno yet. 

This year's Christmas also happens to be my first Christmas as a “Mrs” (there seems to be a lot of firsts happening to and around me lately) and it was ok. Not exactly as tentatively planned, but ok. There will always be other Christmas'es' I told myself. 

So, attended the Christmas service with the family and spent some part of the day with the extended family cooking up a storm in the kitchen 😋 with the CCO (Chief Commanding Officer), my mother in-law supervising 😁 Afterwards, had a really quiet day no thanks to the powers that be, PHCN.  To cut short a rather boring long story, allow me to tell the story with pictures. 

 Trying to reason how to go about making our first Christmas really memorable and beginning to feel stressed. Even before I'd started anything🤦🏻.

 Yay, me finally catching the holiday spirit bug as soon as I started the decorations. Ably assisted by my bruva*

                                    Victory at last😄

And then cooking began in ernest. Here, I was the assistant chef😁

Christmas morning😍

And that was it. The highlight of the whole affair IMO was hosting guests, haha. My hostessing skills are quite rusty, believe me. 

Another surprise, the roads and streets of Lagos were empty and traffic was relatively light. I'd been told it would be that way. But Lagos? That's chock-full of human beings? Like sardines in a tin box? Impossicant I thought. But, seeing was indeed believing as it's said. Apparently, all the wise men from the East who'd migrated West to hustle, had returned home for the holidays, hehehe. Please do not quote me anywhere. 

There were still pockets of traffic here and there but not your typical Mexican stand off (according to hubby). Not that I strayed too far from my locale, nope. Waiting to see how the new year celebrations would look like. I've heard, touts take over during the cross over nights that are usually held in churches. Well, *Fingers Crossed*

😁😋🤐

And yes, Boxing Day did indeed look like this. There's more than enough to go round, please help yourself😀. Merry Christmas once again. 
Cheers...

*Bruva - Brother

Frank Friday:Putting CHRIST in Christmas

A merry Christmas to you and yours. My prayer for you's that you see and know and experience the visible manifestation of the reason for the season, Jesus. 

I hope we all had a good one. Statistics show that this is also the season many get depressed due to one thing or the other. Could be pressure, distance from family, friends and loved ones, lack of money or one thing or the other. But let's try to not put ourselves under any sort of unnecessary pressure. Which brings to mind a joke someone shared recently about another someone being asked about the Christmas celebration and s/he was like, “is it my baiday?” Lol, sounds like something I can say. True, it's not your birthday so don't feel like you've got to throw a party to prove a point or something like that. No. Christmas' all about Jesus' arrival and its significance. If we must ponder on anything, it should be that.  Remember, you've got nothing to prove. I'm also talking to myself by the way cos in the beginning, I was gonna put some pressure on myself, based on first Christmas as a married woman you know😋. I'd wanted making it a memorable one. But hey, 🤷🏻

There will always be other Christmas'es'. I believe. So here are some pictorials that attempt to describe how this year's Christmas commemoration looked like: 

Me reasoning how to go about making our first Christmas really memorable and beginning to feel stressed. Even before I'd started anything🤦🏻. JJC*

Yay, me finally catching the holiday spirit bug as soon as I started the decorations. Ably assisted by my bruva*

Victory at last😄

And then cooking began in ernest. Here, I was the assistant chef😁

Christmas morning😍

This was to be a short post as is my fashion but it just occurred to me that I veered off course a lil bit, so...

Here are a few pointers to putting CHRIST back in Christmas. Some persons might argue that Christmas observance ain't even scriptural and was an adopted pagan tradition and on and on, but that's not the point. The point is, we're already “marking” it right? So, why not do it the proper way as opposed to the usual round of cooking, binge eating, and entertainment that seems to be prevalent. For record purposes, “proper” is highly subjective, this is my “proper”, thank you. 

• Read your Bible. To put it in context, preferably the Christmas story. For us, (I & hubby i.e) we read the book of John chapter one. 
• Go to church. Yeah, most churches hold Christmas services that day. Don't pass it over in favor of finishing your cooking or something. 
• Meditate on the scripture passage read. That way, you're constantly reminded of the reason you're celebrating. That would also curb some untoward behavior (if you know what I'm talking about, drop a comment😉).

As per usual, there'll always be the human factor(s), petty annoyances, grievances et al that'd threaten to make you loose the Christmas spirit but then, *shrugs* that's life for you. Deal with it! Will gist you details of my Christmas proper in “Diary of a new Lagos Wife”. Keep it locked down.

So, those were a few pointers. There are lots of ways to having a CHRISTcentric Christmas, but I'm short of time. Yes, time😏 Bye...

Peace.
*JJC - Newbie
*Bruva - Brother

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍:The wedding party 🎊

Dear Diary,

Today I attended my first ever Lagos party  aka wedding aka owanbe *cues in Banky's “ain't no party like a Lagos party”*. I highly doubt my kind of party's what he was singing about, but still, “ain't no party like a Lagos party”. Hehe.

So, I'd attended with a certain mindset (the things I'd heard? Hmm) and I wasn't disappointed. What stood out for me most was the plethora of high class fashion(?) on display. *shrugs shoulders* I'm no fashionista, so I can't tell what's high fashion or not, but what I mean by high class fashion in this context, is the variety of styles that were on display. Wait, is it high class fashion or high end fashion?*facepalm* This is beyond me. Bottom line, I liked what I saw c'est finis. Them sisi ekos (Lagos belles) sure do know how to dress up and turn up. 

At some point I began to feel like the odd one cos guess what, I'd tied iro and buba, young sisi like me. Lol.

I really dunno what's obtainable in the iro and buba game, whether it's strictly for mamas (that's the general consensus) or young 'uns like us can also participate. I hear friends say they can't wear them and yours truly was once in that boat until she saw the light in person of a young girl who rocked it. 

My take though on fashion in general's that, whatever rocks your frame and is comfy and is carried by your conscience, why not? As for me, I tilt towards the conservative and laid back spectrum. In all, it was a lovely fashion parade wedding with me making mental notes 📝 of styles to sew next, haha. I kept musing about how I finally get to witness the "Lagos turn up" folks shout about on social media.  If anything, Lagosians ain't playing.

Hubby though was of the opinion that I was yet to see anything, that that was a precursor of things that were to come (pls bear with my grammar😂). 

But outside of fashion, I couldn't tell much any difference between a Lagos wedding and that of others, like say, Abuja. I had a swell time though, regardless of having arrived the venue feeling tired and drowsy. Why? Seven letters, one word, go!









Traffic! 🚥

Peace...

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: Imagine Dragons

Dear diary, 

I have a confession to make, I'm a scaredy cat. Never knew how much of a scaredy cat I was until my relocation to Lagos. Lagos, the monster that devours the hapless unsuspecting victim (at least in my head). I've been asked to not see it in that light, na God go help person. It brought out all my fears, both real and imagined and it turns out that the latter's the worse.

So, hubby practically pushed me out of the nest today. I'd been assigned this mission for a long time; “go to Egbeda” but I've been terrified of doing that on my own. Emphasis on “on my own”. At least I've passed through several times heavily "guarded", lol. Fear sha, smh. For those that know the distance between Igando and Egbeda, it's not such a big deal. I mean, I only get to enter one bus. This has made me remember my first individual trip at night to Ikotun *shudders*, another time. 

So I did and mission was successful until my return journey where instead of going to Igando, oga bus driver took me to Ikotun. Didn't notice in time because I was busy composing this. 

Well, to God be the glory, none of my imagined fears came to pass like missing a bus stop which technically (wasn't my fault) happened or being told that my English is too much or the bus leaving me because I'm walking too slowly (which nearly happened) or one conductor insulting me on top of my change because, reminder.

Ah Lagos, it's well. 

Shout out to hubby for pulling off a typical mother hen or is it eagle routine on me, you do well 😏. Lagos sha, it's not for me. I know this.

Peace...
Trivia: today's entry subject matter's a band name. Yup. I love their song “Believer”, check it out. 

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍

Me coming outta my hiatus

Still me wondering if anyone's here

Oh bloggy, bloggy, bloggy, I've missed you so.

Hi there guys, howdy? This has been a long time coming but only until yesterday, courtesy of a comment on a post concerning my Lagos travails joys which I'd shared on facebook, have I decided to run with it. This title/series is courtesy of that and God willing, I shall be reposting the said post here. It'll be our first journal entry 😁. Timely, if you ask me cos I've encountered one time too many, stuff I'd rather not. In this Lagos.

I'm sure it's no longer news what brought yours truly down west right? If it is, I'm sorry and owe you guys a major throw/flash back. Click here to get the gist of how the Northern belle traded the North for West, epic.

So encountering Lagos was a huge culture shock for me all in all. Gist for another day seeing as this is us officially launching the “Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍” series. Sit back, put your feet up and enjoy the journey. Seeing Lagos through the eyes of a newbie. 

Ekaabo. 

Peace

To Kill Father's Ghost ꘡꘡꘡: The Letter

To my beloved Raniya.

I hope your day is fine my love. I was just thinking of your smile. How beautiful and radiant it is. Truth is I always think about your smile. It amazes me and rewards me in great measures.  Like somebody actually listened to something I said or saw something I did and they smiled. Isn't that amazing? It makes me afraid too. See I haven’t been around many smiles before. I have this funny knack for turning them upside down. I can’t count how many frowns I  have made, but for heaven’s sake I truly and sincerely hope that God forgives me.

I am afraid that one day you will truly see me. Your eyes will open to my shortcomings, your ears will hear of my inequities and your nose will smell the stench of my numerous failures and your beautiful smile will fade away.

My dear, I have become very dependent on your smile. It is the only time I feel whole again. A stream  of fresh water coursing through a perched riverbed. I am a broken soul, my Raniya. Oh my God, I am so broken, I don’t even realize when I’m breaking up those close to me. It’s my nature and I fear for us. Like the hulk, I’ll turn into a green monster and your smile will fade away together with your love. I am I afraid  it will be too late. Like everyone else, you will leave.

That is what I am most afraid of. I have to confess to you my love, it terrifies me everyday. I could never recover from that. I don’t have anymore energy left. I desperately want to believe that this is it. That we have finally made it, and I can at last let go and just be happy to be alive. Indeed once or twice I have let go, and it was beautiful. The most beautiful thing ever, I saw God here on earth. I felt life all around me, I became one with the universe. It was that evening we were strolling by the river, the soles of our feet licked by its playful edge. That was when I felt it. My entire body and soul; one with the universe. A leaf gracefully fell from a pine and as I watched it meander midair, across your smile down onto the meadow, I knew that a part of me had shifted from the cool breeze high up on to the firm stability of the ground. It was beautiful. A moment that lasted forever and I knew that was the kind of freedom and happiness I yearned for.

Raniya, I have a question for you though. How can I take all this goodness? Cursed be the day I thought it was even possible for my wretched soul to be happy. What would I do with happiness? I would spend all my days and nights worrying about losing it.  Oh my wretched soul, it will never know peace. I’d probably lose all of it, and I wouldn’t know how. I can’t bear that, I can’t bear that my Raniya. So, it’s better if I didn’t have my desire now, so that I don’t have to worry about losing it. When that evil day comes it will pass me in my misery just like my deathday and I won’t notice. I will have finally dealt fate a blow. I will win.

For what it is worth, I hope you keep it in your heart that you will always be my moon, my light in the dark. You will always be my star, my forever beauty. Even as we part ways.

Yours faithfully,

Prince Oyalla.

See dad, I am not afraid of my ugly. I own up to it even if it scalds my ego. Some day I’ll grow into a real man, I’ll probably be able to hold down a relationship but for now I am just a man trying to get over his pain.

***Editor's note***

Thank you Brian for this beautifully written piece. Domestic violence and abuse, sadly has become the norm. Families torn apart with the children mostly being the worst hit by such development. Violence isn't the answer (I'd have ended the sentence with "get help", but getting help isn't always easy now is it?)

To worsen matters, the problem almost always becomes cyclical as children emulate what they see the parents do and imbibe it as the norm. Wife/Husband battery therefore becomes the norm for these ones. May the good Lord help us all. Amen.

Peace.