Lil. Ms. Poochie

 

It was a gloomy day with dark clouds, a blistering wind and an even darker mood. I had refused every offer of warmth and obstinately set out in quest of my dog, little Ms. Poochie. Lil Ms. had never stayed out this long and I was beginning to worry. In spite of the cold and cough that wracked my tiny frame, I was determined to find her. You see, my lil Ms. had once saved me and now it was my turn to save her.

I was a lonely child, sad and bitter and angry with the world. I was the one to always get into trouble and always the one to bring home bad news. My tanta says I'm the harbinger of evil. Even at birth, I killed my own mother. How evil could I get?

Thus branded, I was careful to not do anything to draw attention to myself; I kept to myself and endeavoured to always be on my best behaviour but trouble always seemed to follow me around confirming tanta's opinion of me. I was desolate and devised several means to write off my life but I was too cowardly to follow through. And then one day, lil Ms. hobbled into my life. I took to her instantly. 

Like me, she had been battered and looked half starved. Her ear was torn and bleeding, I presumed she had been involved in a dog fight. You see, dogs like humans share a lot in common even though I sometimes think they're smarter, the big dogs pick on the smaller and weaker dogs. Now I know why they call it a dog-eat-dog world, that statement had always puzzled me.

Lil Ms. was my saviour in many ways, I learnt to know what it meant to be loved and to love, I learnt to laugh and to play (lil Ms. says I ought to play all day, that it's my right). Above all, I learnt to forgive.

One day, my tanta had beaten me for no good reason and banished me from her presence. I was forbidden to cry before her and so poured it all on poor lil Ms. I kicked at her and bawled out my eyes, I could tell that she was hurt with the way she looked at me just as she hobbled off.

I was sorry to see her go but was too mad to care. After I had calmed down, I went looking for her in all her favourite places; at the pond where she liked to bark at the ducks, at the flower bed where she pretended to be a pretty flower and at the churchyard where she liked to lie and gaze up at the sky, but she wasn't there.

Now I was worried, it would rain soon and I had yet to find lil Ms. My lil Ms. never liked rainstorms, they drove her crazy. I remember her restless pacing, how she used to whimper and howl, I must find her before the storm broke. I'm sorry lil Ms. Please come back.

Now I'm crying, the tears mingling with the rain. I was sorry I'd shouted at her and kicked her. I was sorry I had thrown stones at her. I was sorry I had treated her as my tanta had treated me. I was sorry for it all. I was even more sorry cos she didn't deserve it, she who had loved me with dog-like devotion, I'm sorry lil Ms.

*In loving memory of Cornell.

Photo Credits: Pentaxuser, Flickr.

The Myth of Happiness

When did being happy become an obsession?

From another's POV:

Happiness comes at a price.

Happiness is overrated.  

Happiness isn't meant for everyone.

It's impossible to always be happy.

Should I go on?

Well, I'll leave you to that.

For some, being happy does not come easy. They have to work at it and plan for it and try to pull it off in a flawless execution. Why because the happiness gurus say happiness is a way of life. You have to have a zing at all times and constantly walk on cloud nine at all times. You don't want to be seen amoody or acrying or asniffling for even a nano of a second. 

No, no, no, that won't do for the perfect little box they wanna place you in. Ridiculous if you ask me (but you aren't) and so you actively do and practice all that the gurus preach; happiness is in you; happiness is you; happiness is your neighbour; look inside of you; and if that doesn't succeed, you hear;

-Happiness is a purchase away;

-Get this new product and you'll be happy for life.

-Change your wardrobe and your whole life would change for the better.

-Upgrade your phone and you're on your way to been happy.

-Secure this contract and you're set for a happy life.

-Get this bigger house.

-Drive that bigger car.

Get more and more and more and do they succeed? A resounding no, rather, it takes you farther than you've ever gotten to in the doldrumming of life and lower than your lowest of lows because it took so much effort  to try to attain that zen. Or you did attain it but at a steep price or you didn’t because you just don’t know how to be happy.

It’s OK, no judgment here, but the desperate in heart would do anything.

Some have lost quite a lot in the pursuit of happiness. They were probably OK just trudging along living fine and dandy and then someone comes along and slaps a tag on some obscure word and before you know it, it has become some chic trendy go lucky slogan, tada!-be happy. 

Yeah, right.

If that's the kind of happy you're tryna sell to me; I shall be wanting no part of it.

Dear someone, rather than just come up with a gimmicky kinda word it’s better to allow your people to be their real selves, happy or not. I know of naturally moody people.

As an aside, can someone be so kind as to define happiness?

I know it’s strange, but try to understand that sometimes it's OK to be sad. It's OK to actually be down in the dumps. To whine and to groan and to snivel in the pity party you organised for yourself in your sad sorry state.

For a set of some, they don't bother as happiness has simply eluded them. Mayhaps, they did something in their past lives?

For yet another set of others, they've mastered the art of been happy come rain or sunshine. Don't you just envy them and won't you just like to know how they do it?

No? Ah, I see that hubris won't let you see, won't let you perceive, won't...oh well, those of you who have captured the quintessence of happiness and have perfected its art right down to a T, kudos to you. I'm highfiving myself on your behalf. Good for you. Now can you please come show the other others the kumbaya of your happy world?

Not that I envy you, nah, I don't envy Earthlings.

***

Uhm, while it was kinda funny writing this, in actuality, it isn't. There's a lot of sadness and bitterness out there and while it's quite understandable to say "don't worry, be happy" after all, a cheerful heart doeth good like medicine right? Lets also try to be realistic with our expectations. It's kinda sad to see what that beautiful word has been reduced to. It has been made out to be some happy go lucky charm (and I use that loosely). 

Oh well, what's my own? BTW, I dunno what literary style I adopted for this write up. It's all sort of weird to me. It is isn't it? Please do lemme know. I'm sorta experimenting with different writing styles. Lemme know what you think of this particular style and probably we'll come up with a name for it yeah? Would experimental project suffice? lol. I love to experiment and no, I'm no scientist. Go figure.  

MMC: New Beginnings

Ztembe absent-mindedly chewed on  her pen, her mind miles away. She was still trying to process the rude shock that had welcomed her when she walked into the office this morning.

What is wrong with Ochuko she asked yet again and with no small measure of anger. Why does he seem so set against me? Is it something I've done? Or haven't done?

Her meeting with Ochuko had been doomed from the very beginning. It had become obvious that like oil and water, so was it to be with She and Ochuko. Time seemed to fade and Ztembe saw herself just as she'd been when she'd first resumed work.

***

She'd been running late and knew it wasn't going to make for a good first impression for her first day at work. It was bad enough that she'd barely made it through the interview process as someone had snottily confided to her that she'd been thought to be too forward.

Too forward ke? What did that even mean? She remembered thinking, but she wanted so bad to make a good first impression with her colleagues especially now that quasi management already had her pegged. And so with that in mind, she hurried into the building only to run headlong into a brick wall (or so she thought).

***

A sigh escapes her lips. Ztembe, all these thinking will get you nowhere she chides herself but she can't shake herself loose from memory's clutch.

***

"Are you blind?" Ochuko angrily asks.
Ztembe still caught off balance and trying to recover from her near fall was momentarily speechlesss. Not at the question but at his manners.
"Oh, I see you're dumb as well", he continued still glowering at her.
"I...er...I'm sorry, I didn't-", Ztembe managed to stutter before she was rudely cut off.
"Be sorry for yourself". He shot her another look and stalked off.

Now wearing an identical look, she wondered what had gotten stuck in his craw. She'd always heard how Monday made even the most nicest of people irritable but now she wasn't so sure. Hearing was different from seeing and she didn't like this baptism of fire.

***

If only I knew what I know now she thought, I'd have antagonised him less. Whatever she might have thought about Ochuko, one thing was certain, she wouldn't underestimate him.

Frank Friday: Ramblings, Mutterings and What Nots

Gosh, I feel so fagged out. I laughed long and loud in my head at that expression. The last time I used that was in my secondary school days. Oh those were the days. We had a variety of slangs at our disposal that our speech never lost its flavoured touch.

There was never a boring gist. Whose gist would be boring when one had such an arsenal of northern spiced slangs to choose from? Now I'm "irin feeling tech" lol (only my school mates will relate with this).

All of my life, I've stayed in the north and though I don't speak the language, I'm much more northerner than southerner (is that correct? My head's kinda fuddled right now).

It's been a tedious week and I'm undergoing a spell of laziness with this blog. No, I don't think it's laziness, I don't just have enough energy to expend on it right now I think. Will be back with a bounce I promise. Once I'm done figuring out my life that is. I'm always having to figure out my life I don't understand again o, shuo. Am I alone in this? Anyways, just promise you'll wait for me? *batseyelashes* tashakor.

Cheers...

Photo Credit: Nil

(Of course it'd be nil. Did you see any photo there?) Lol