Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: The year of Firsts

Dear diary,

A merry Christmas to you. How was it? Mine was spectacular.

Yeah, spectacularly spectacular. Experienced Christmas in Lagos for the first time and it was...hmm, dunno yet. 

This year's Christmas also happens to be my first Christmas as a “Mrs” (there seems to be a lot of firsts happening to and around me lately) and it was ok. Not exactly as tentatively planned, but ok. There will always be other Christmas'es' I told myself. 

So, attended the Christmas service with the family and spent some part of the day with the extended family cooking up a storm in the kitchen 😋 with the CCO (Chief Commanding Officer), my mother in-law supervising 😁 Afterwards, had a really quiet day no thanks to the powers that be, PHCN.  To cut short a rather boring long story, allow me to tell the story with pictures. 

 Trying to reason how to go about making our first Christmas really memorable and beginning to feel stressed. Even before I'd started anything🤦🏻.

 Yay, me finally catching the holiday spirit bug as soon as I started the decorations. Ably assisted by my bruva*

                                    Victory at last😄

And then cooking began in ernest. Here, I was the assistant chef😁

Christmas morning😍

And that was it. The highlight of the whole affair IMO was hosting guests, haha. My hostessing skills are quite rusty, believe me. 

Another surprise, the roads and streets of Lagos were empty and traffic was relatively light. I'd been told it would be that way. But Lagos? That's chock-full of human beings? Like sardines in a tin box? Impossicant I thought. But, seeing was indeed believing as it's said. Apparently, all the wise men from the East who'd migrated West to hustle, had returned home for the holidays, hehehe. Please do not quote me anywhere. 

There were still pockets of traffic here and there but not your typical Mexican stand off (according to hubby). Not that I strayed too far from my locale, nope. Waiting to see how the new year celebrations would look like. I've heard, touts take over during the cross over nights that are usually held in churches. Well, *Fingers Crossed*

😁😋🤐

And yes, Boxing Day did indeed look like this. There's more than enough to go round, please help yourself😀. Merry Christmas once again. 
Cheers...

*Bruva - Brother

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍

Me coming outta my hiatus

Still me wondering if anyone's here

Oh bloggy, bloggy, bloggy, I've missed you so.

Hi there guys, howdy? This has been a long time coming but only until yesterday, courtesy of a comment on a post concerning my Lagos travails joys which I'd shared on facebook, have I decided to run with it. This title/series is courtesy of that and God willing, I shall be reposting the said post here. It'll be our first journal entry 😁. Timely, if you ask me cos I've encountered one time too many, stuff I'd rather not. In this Lagos.

I'm sure it's no longer news what brought yours truly down west right? If it is, I'm sorry and owe you guys a major throw/flash back. Click here to get the gist of how the Northern belle traded the North for West, epic.

So encountering Lagos was a huge culture shock for me all in all. Gist for another day seeing as this is us officially launching the “Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍” series. Sit back, put your feet up and enjoy the journey. Seeing Lagos through the eyes of a newbie. 

Ekaabo. 

Peace

Little bursts of Clarity

Happy new year lovelies. Circumstances have brought me here much earlier than anticipated. I was gonna be here Val's day armed with the greatest love story ever told or heard. You know what that greatest love story is? It's a beautiful story, I never get tired of reading about it *hint hint*  Some do I'm sure. So, back to why I'm here.

While groping in the midst of my grief this fine morning and pondering on a message I'd sent someone, my eyes alighted on something. A message. Any other day, I prolly wouldn't read much into it but let's just say that message was perfect for the time and state I found myself in. It read: "let there be heart's peace when each day is done", like wow. That says a lot in so little words. The message packed a punch. I'm not going to break it down, I believe it's really self explanatory.

God really is present. He's everywhere. I saw Him in the smile of a child that came with her mum for a condolence visit. She was such a giggly baby. I also saw Him in the hugs shared and received. I saw Him in the prayers and messages of friends and associates. I saw Him in the selflessness and generosity of some persons. I saw Him in a moment of sunshine when my mind began to get clouded and it was a symbolic moment. I saw Him in the messages He brought me at the right time. The right word, the right music, the right devotional. 

And I saw Him again, today in that message.

This period has been a learning curve for me. I'm always learning sha so it wasn't so difficult. I'm learning that I've got patience after all. I'm also glad that what I'm learning, I'd already learnt theoretically and I'm only now learning its practicals. God is so good. I can't adequately describe how real He was to me this period. He was so real, I could practically feel him walking with me and giving me his hand like a gentleman would to a lady when He felt my strength flagging. He was right there whispering words of comfort and cautioning me when the ballistic moments came knocking, lol. Wow. I'm still not done grieving and may never will, (this was expressed so elegantly in a poem a friend shared with me, I hope to share it with you guys someday) but I do not grieve as those without hope. The light of God's word shines its brightest when it's darkest. This is my testimony. Allez up (lol, dunno what that is or if it means anything sef, it just sounds like a good sign off). 

Peace... 

Princess Warrior

So many fights

So many battles 

The greatest I fear

Is the battle of self

I have an ongoing battle 

One I thought

I won a long time ago

A pyrrhic victory at best

But a victory nonetheless

Alas I fear, 

An old enemy's risen.

From the shadows

It had been banished to,

It arises

But fear not, 

For this time, 

It shall be conquered 

Once and for all.

Once and for good, 

Shall it be conquered.

                                  ***

My note indicates that I penned this at 11:58am on 24th December 2013. Hmm, it's been three years. And I was at work. I recall the circumstances that surrounded that scribble.

Everyone's got a demon they battle daily; personal demons, work demons, financial demons. For some, it may be anger, depression, lust, envy, pride, name it. God gives us the victory daily.

Peace...

SOTD "New Dawn Fades" by Joy Division 

Frank Friday: Midnight Escapades

The things that happen at midnight are better left unsaid but I think my activities are innocuous enough to be talked about lol. I once used to be an active night crawler (nah, not in that way), I mean a night owl. Night time was when I was very active.

That year in school while men slept, Linda cooked, Linda washed, Linda mopped, Linda listened to loud music, Linda did a lot of things in that odd hour. My roommates heard it sha, lol. In my opinion, night time is divine. The silence and stillness, everywhere's so calm.

By night time I mean midnight. In this clime, the midnight hour's associated with a lot of terribles (is that a word please?); as that's when evil thrives under cover of darkness, and all. Midnight hour's that doorway between the living and dead. Yep, I said it. A doorway between the known and the unknown, the banal and the mystical. That hour where anything's possible. It's like a special time when anything can happen. Many folklore associate the midnight hour with magic; tales of mystic, mystery and a certain touch of awe. The dead come back to walk among the living, the pretty maiden changes back to her 'real' form, the wolf-man changes its form, skinchangers and other monsters walk upon the earth's surface. Whew, I could go on and on but I'm not Dean Koontz and the rest. It's when all the magic happens sha, you get.

Simply put, the midnight hour is the best of times to be productive (my opinion). It's the best of times to pray, to listen, to meditate and to strategise. The midnight hour's a time to recharge and reboot by sleeping (for those who don't appreciate what the hour connotes) and I wrote that in the most condescending of tones by the way. I mean, how can you not appreciate that hour? Lol, I kid biko cos I'm now team sleep (on good days). I'd better enjoy it while stock lasts.

It's time I switched off now, it's 1:52 am btw. I've burnt my midnight oil to the ground and my hour's up. Just thought to pen this down.

Ciao...
I had fun scaring folks with that photo😂😹
Oh, and I've got cold. Again. Dunno how the virus keeps getting me😐😑

On being a wall flower

I'd start by saying, as a wall flower your default answer should be no. At all times (I'll expatiate on that in another post). Today's for the wall flowers in the hizzouse (a show of hands please✌)😂

So here goes:

1. At all times, turn down offers to attend social functions. Yep, end of post. That's what being a wall flowers's all about, saying no. Lol, ok not the end.
2. If perchance you were tricked or coerced or for whatever reason you decide to go, arrive early, you don't want anyone to see you arriving do you? If you find yourself running late, try to slip in quietly and unobtrusively. Let it be that you just did appear out of thin air. 
3. Dress to blend
4. Find your spot; a vantage point where you can see all and not be seen
5. Befriend the couch and do not for any reason disengage from it.
6. Note all exit points in case of emergencies like needing a breath of fresh air or escaping loudmouths or/and for quick and easy getaway. You'll thank me later 😉

So that's that, got any more to add? But why would you want to be a wall flower anyways? Being a wall flower's not for the faint of heart just so you know😋

Disclaimer: This is a tongue in cheek post by the way.

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Nah, I lied but personally, I enjoy being a wall flower. Infact,  it's one of my hobbies. I own it. Cheers, gotta run.... 

Peace. 

I love that photo, it's from my phone's wallpaper collection. 

Nameless

Let's talk about getting old. When last did you take a gooood look at your parents? Over the weekend, I did have a wake up call.

As young adults, we sometimes get so caught up in our lives that we forget our parents are getting older same way we are. In my mind's eye, I still see them with the eyes of a child, like they're strong and will always remain same way but that's only an illusion, they won't always remain same way and one day, they won't be around (fact).

Sometimes, I feel like the worst of daughters (who'd believe my story?) I mean, I'm good at forgetting about my parents as in, I only think about them in an unconscious kinda way and not in an intentional kinda way. Get my drift?

And something's always bothered me. Your happiness or your parents' happiness, which should be paramount? I know I won't get an answer, still I'm asking anyway. It gets so tiring trying to place others' happiness before yours (selfish much?) but it's true. I think I really need to work on that.

So I promised myself to try to do better. I'm not always the best of daughters, I mess up sometimes most times, haha (I'm laughing but I'm not. Really). 

Happy Dem's day BTW

Photo Credit: Sara's O world

SOTD (Song of the day) 'Towards the Sun'

Miss Cally

Ah, Calabar my Calabar...I'll one day write a poem for you. There are few places you go where you can say home sweet home. For me, Calabar was one of those. You know how you meet certain people and you just have an instant connection? That's what happened between I and Cally. My dream city's what I call her. Going to Calabar was like coming home. I don't have any roots there sef but these things happen; inexplicable connection to places and people.

My mandatory one year service took me to Calabar and I was instantly hooked. Well, I took myself there cos I redeployed from my original state of service. I've loved Calabar from afar and it was one of the Nigerian cities I'd longed to visit, so when I saw the opportunity, I pounced on it.

KrossKopa

Jos is another place I'd like to also visit but seeing Calabar and living there's calmed my thirst. For now. You'd be surprised at my reasons for loving Cally, but love's love. There's a casualness to Cally that I like. Those people know how to take life easy. Oh, and they know how to enjoy life, like really enjoy it (story for another day).

Chilling after watching a match at the stadium. AFCON qualifier I think.

This match.

Everywhere I turned to, it was a park, more like a garden park, everywhere for chilling. Infact, it's a garden state. Every inch of ground's well tended and groomed. I'm sure it's serene environment's specially groomed to drive business. You know Cross River's known for its tourist attractions hence, everything has to work to promote the touristy feel. They did eat my money and made me spend more, but I didn't mind. Yeah, it's quite an expensive place to live in with limited employment/business opportunities (believe me, I tried getting a job). Most of the businesses there are concentrated in the hospitality industry. This again is due to the state's appellation as a destination spot for touristy tourists.

Entrance to my *PPA.

I really did enjoy Calabar. The people are friendly, cuisine's on point. I learnt how to eat white rice with pepper soup instead of tomatoes sauce by force. There's a dearth of tomatoes over there that's why (so I was told).

My *boli joint for when I couldn't bear to down white rice and pepper soup.

Not so clear but quite enjoyable. Especially liked the herbal leaves used, forgotten the name. It was slightly bitter. 

My journey to a healthy lifestyle started in Cally. I learnt to eat more fruits and veggies there. I even learnt to enjoy watermelon and cucumber. Two things I'd previously hated with passion. All my memories of Calabar are beautiful, thanks to amazing friends as well. I couldn't tour the *state as I'd intended due to financial constraints but I have no regrets.

And yes, I did make friends (surprise). They were that friendly and open too. They're not closed off like my Abuja people of which I'm one. Witnessed three weddings (could've been more) and turned down an offer to go for a burial ceremony (can't fit shout).

The view from my window, lol. Can't recall what festival. The road was later tarred and my ears heard it.

My stay in Cally was well worth it. It opened my eyes to the finer points of life. It's one aspect of my life I see as a major landmark.

I'm watching Jenifas's diary btw, and it's so frigging hilarious.

Well, what can I say? I had an awemazing service year in Cally and I promise to share more about it on my 5th year serviceverssary which will be June 2nd or is it 6th? I forget. Just stay tuned.💋

The pictures ain't exactly snazzy I know. Didn't have a blog and an audience in mind when I took them. Bear with me mbok.

*PPA: Primary Place of Assignment where during the mandatory one year service, you're attached to a School/Company/Organisation to give back to your Fatherland.
*Boli: Roasted Plantain
*Crossriver.

Frank Friday: Alice Through the Looking Glass

Hello there, how's the holidays been? 
As for myself, I've been indoors reuniting with my movie self where I stumbled upon 'Alice through the looking glass' and upon the phrase; 'you have not ticked your last tock and tocked your last tick' *insertmentalgiggleshere*. For some reason I find it very funny but there's a valid message there. 

So, lemme give you the low down of what I've been up to;

• At last minute, I decided to go down to the family home to spend the Christmas break. I had initially thought I was...well, let's forget that since it didn't happen.

• Christmas came calling, answered the door unlike this young lady here👇

• Then spent the rest of the day and the days that followed indoors eating and watching movies amongst other things (I'd rather not say) until a friend dragged me out.

Well, I just made this post to say that you have not ticked your last tock nor tocked your last tick. 😁😂😁😂
Peace out.

Photo Credit: boredpanda.com

Frank Friday: I Gotta Feeling (November 6th)

Geez, hi guys. This inconsistency bug that keeps getting into me is just darn too strong, I need deliverance I tell you. Hopefully, I'll join the new wave of bloggers that'll make a new year resolution to keep the contents rolling in on a daily basis (each to his/her own).

So, how've we been? How's been the daily grind and hustle? I've been riding on cloud nine ever since November came knocking. Why because, it'll be my birthday in two - really short - days' time and I'm keeping real calm (ice queen things). It's a lie, can't keep calm else I won't be talking writing about it *biggrin*

I just came on here to tell ya'll that it's Friday and that it's time to unwind. Yeah, forget about the trials of the week, forget about the friend that failed to fulfill a promise, forget about the economy, forget about the bills to pay, forget about the peanuts you call salary. Yeah, fogerrit all and just focus on today, on now, on this very moment.

I'm learning the art of mindfulness, that is, being present and I tell you, it isn't easy. The very little success I've managed to achieve so far, I'm so celebrating it cos if that weren't so, I'd probably be worrying about the fact that I can't celebrate this year's birthday but who celebration don epp? So, back to the forgetting, fogerrit all broda, sista.

On being mindful, it didn't turn out the way I'd thought it would not that I'm not making progress cos I so am but it wasn't as easy as I'd thought it'd be. I mean, how difficult can it be to focus on the present right? Well, what I failed to do was factor in my errant, wander lust of a mind. 

My mind's prone to daydreaming and creating up myriad of fantasies so I tend to wander off along side it most times and it's almost always fun in there. It sometimes seems like it's got a mind of its own, you know, another mind of hers minding her (now I'm confused). Well, it just keeps racing on and on (always without me cos I don't race, I stroll) without nary a pause, whew.

It's really trying keeping it in check. No wonder I'm almost always exhausted, cos I'm always running after a naughty mind that won't be still. Well, since we're stuck with each other, I guess it wouldn't hurt to practice mindfulness every now and then. Aiite, I'm done here, you have a swell weekend and...

...nice talking to ya'll.
Peace and cakes.
Back to my 'ohms'.
SOTD (Song of the day) - 'I gotta feeling'...

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

A Commuter's Tale

I've taken to going to and from work via this very long bus we call urban mass back in the FCT.

This is it.

It all started as part of my operation cut cost cos on a good day, I wouldn't use them. It takes longer arriving my destination but I'm kinda enjoying it cos of all the shenanigans that take place in it while in transit, hehe.

The other day, on my way back home a mutiny threatened to strike. Ok, not mutiny more like disorderly behaviour. We had left Area 3 in Garki en route Gwagwalada. It was at the peak of traffic, rush hour when all most offices have closed and everyone's running home.

So, I don't know what got into the *epa but he took a wrong route in the name of avoiding the traffic jam ahead. We had to circle back into town (no mean feat with traffic everywhere). To cut a long story short after much diversions and meeting same result, the passengers began to hyperventilate with insults ringing from all sides.

My amusement changed to alarm when some over excited ones got it into their heads to wrestle control of the steering wheel with the driver. Others began to shout with one woman screaming out the window, "help, help". It was crazy I tell you and I began to pray for the Holy Spirit's intervention. Imagine being in a long bus that's weaving this way and that, it wasn't funny but it was funny. After the fear had passed that is. 

Having finished my prayer, I relaxed, ready to watch the drama unfold (kent fit shout) while enjoying my boiled corn on the cob.

Ultimately, we arrived Gwags two hours late (talk about irate passengers. I pitied the old man sha, na condition make cray fish bend.

*an elderly man.

Photo Credit: aumtco.com