Lost Hearts

The heart of man, hmm, who can fathom it? Thankfully, I've handed over such matters of mystery to my Abba because, I really can't deal or begin to decipher what goes on in there and thankfully, yet again, I'm in good hands. The hands of He who knows our intents and all that goes on within, I rest my matters with Him. I refuse to begin to analyse and psychoanalyse His creatures' doings and/or undoings, it'd drive me nuts. 

One thing I know for certain is that, how I see you, I take you. I cannot begin to do the work of the Holy Spirit whose sole purpose is to convict man's spirit and bring about a transformation, a change. No, I'm not He, so I leave myself at the mercies of God, who is not man. This is my story. 

Well, a happy new year to you.🥳

This write-up brought a Kirk Franklin's song with a similar title to mind. An old, old friend, that song.

SOTD: Lost hearts by Kirk Franklin

2024 in a bit

I'm back!

Am I? *Thinks in unplanned hiatus*

2022 came, I said same thing

2023, same

2024, well, at least I've put pen on paper (finger to screen) and published this, so yes I'm back. I really am.

I realise I broke things off abruptly *cue in the break up cliché* it wasn't you, it was me, really and truly. Life changed and I wondered about how best to bring it on here, to put it on the blog, and if I wanted that at all. You know, all of my business out here, and then with all that indecision hanging around in my head, it just turned into a hiatus, a totally unplanned one😊

But it turns out it was necessary. So you see, it worked out good and now I'm back *cue in another popular cliche* better and stronger 😂 

I realise we're not yet in 2024 but what's another 2 days to you? Welcome to 2024 & I wish you a Merry Christmas. By the way, "adniL's corner" is in transition. I have no clue what/where we're transiting to, but I beg of you to not leave us, hang in tight and let's see what this pupa metamorphoses into. 

Cheers...

Wait, wait, wait please. Did you notice the photos I used? *preens in AI generated images pride* 

Yes, I created those and for some reason, I feel so fulfilled. Maybe it's because I've been wanting to jump on that bandwagon for sometime now, or maybe *dramatic gasp in sudden insight* having images for the blog wouldn't be so challenging now😁 *dances in eureka* I may also seem to have found a new love for all these inserts (asterisked comments?)😅

Abeg, bye guys, before I carry una go where we no know.

Toodles 😊

Frank Friday:Putting CHRIST in Christmas

A merry Christmas to you and yours. My prayer for you's that you see and know and experience the visible manifestation of the reason for the season, Jesus. 

I hope we all had a good one. Statistics show that this is also the season many get depressed due to one thing or the other. Could be pressure, distance from family, friends and loved ones, lack of money or one thing or the other. But let's try to not put ourselves under any sort of unnecessary pressure. Which brings to mind a joke someone shared recently about another someone being asked about the Christmas celebration and s/he was like, “is it my baiday?” Lol, sounds like something I can say. True, it's not your birthday so don't feel like you've got to throw a party to prove a point or something like that. No. Christmas' all about Jesus' arrival and its significance. If we must ponder on anything, it should be that.  Remember, you've got nothing to prove. I'm also talking to myself by the way cos in the beginning, I was gonna put some pressure on myself, based on first Christmas as a married woman you know😋. I'd wanted making it a memorable one. But hey, 🤷🏻

There will always be other Christmas'es'. I believe. So here are some pictorials that attempt to describe how this year's Christmas commemoration looked like: 

Me reasoning how to go about making our first Christmas really memorable and beginning to feel stressed. Even before I'd started anything🤦🏻. JJC*

Yay, me finally catching the holiday spirit bug as soon as I started the decorations. Ably assisted by my bruva*

Victory at last😄

And then cooking began in ernest. Here, I was the assistant chef😁

Christmas morning😍

This was to be a short post as is my fashion but it just occurred to me that I veered off course a lil bit, so...

Here are a few pointers to putting CHRIST back in Christmas. Some persons might argue that Christmas observance ain't even scriptural and was an adopted pagan tradition and on and on, but that's not the point. The point is, we're already “marking” it right? So, why not do it the proper way as opposed to the usual round of cooking, binge eating, and entertainment that seems to be prevalent. For record purposes, “proper” is highly subjective, this is my “proper”, thank you. 

• Read your Bible. To put it in context, preferably the Christmas story. For us, (I & hubby i.e) we read the book of John chapter one. 
• Go to church. Yeah, most churches hold Christmas services that day. Don't pass it over in favor of finishing your cooking or something. 
• Meditate on the scripture passage read. That way, you're constantly reminded of the reason you're celebrating. That would also curb some untoward behavior (if you know what I'm talking about, drop a comment😉).

As per usual, there'll always be the human factor(s), petty annoyances, grievances et al that'd threaten to make you loose the Christmas spirit but then, *shrugs* that's life for you. Deal with it! Will gist you details of my Christmas proper in “Diary of a new Lagos Wife”. Keep it locked down.

So, those were a few pointers. There are lots of ways to having a CHRISTcentric Christmas, but I'm short of time. Yes, time😏 Bye...

Peace.
*JJC - Newbie
*Bruva - Brother

Frank Friday: Being human

Back when I used to hear spending time with nature, I'd always picture myself neckdeep in shrubbery in some jungle or some other wild place. After all, nature equals wild yeah? Lol

I've never considered myself an outdoorsy person but then I still enjoyed the little things like watching the day break, or how the clouds move. 

I used to stay up late just because I wanted to hear and feel the night after all the hum drums the humans must have made. You know, we make so much noise. I sometimes wonder if all the noise is heard in space and how. Does it sound like a mighty drone of bees? Or like the dound of crashing waves? Only this time, the noise is magnified thousands of times over. I'm not a scientist so I can't tell the correct value of the magnification, not that you mind do you? 

So, not until I moved into a house with a balcony view did I realise what I'd been missing. I've always wanted to live in one and it happened, onto the next wish. The minutes I spend there drinking in all the sights that take place above and below me is something I can't describe. Just know that God is truly great. 

I could spend hours just gazing up at the sky, it's just that that we humans have something other living beings don't. It's called a job. Hence, one can't possibly do enough of the above. It'd be termed, “wasting time.” Well, thank God for “small” mercies, for those pockets of time that one can freely indulge.

Peace...

Frank Friday: In the cool of the Morning

 

Hi there, *waves vigorously and enthusiastically*

So! I've resurfaced. I had to. I knew I would. The question was, when? Well, now we know. It's been a minute, wow. To think it's been exactly a month I last said hi😄. It feels so good to be back. 

So, hi again. How're you? Missed me? Missed me not? Oh well, I trust you've been well. If you reside in Nigeria, well, you have no option other than that, regardless. Yeah, regardless.

So, a lotta water has indeed passed under the proverbial bridge, whew.

1. Someone took a really long break from her  hair business. Too long a break if you ask me. But you're not, right? 
2. Another someone finally rounded off her studies. Awaiting results *fingers crossed*
3. Someone travelled miles to hook up with man *face palm* (a friend's phrasing). 
4. Still that someone relocated to a foreign land. A land of the non smilers (thankfully, that someone's surrounded by the opposite). A land of the hustlers and buzzites - Lagos. 
5. And yet another someone upped and took a bold step into the oldest institution ever institutionalised (lol). Yep. 

Who's been this someone biko? Righto, yours truly, moi. And that institution's marriage!! Yaaay right? Lol, ok, whatever.

So bloggy dear might be taking a different direction soon. Can't say what exactly and why, let's call it a feeling. Even better, intuition. But it'll be for good, really. 

More gist

More yarn

And yes, insight into what the dark side other side feels like. Come join us, I'm recruiting😉

Hang in there, I've got a juicy story to share. Will post Tuesday, God willing. Courtesy of a benevolent contributor. Shout out to Brian, all the way from Kenya. Salut!

See y'all soon...

Peace

Flawlessly Flawed

My flaws be my reminders
Reminders that I'm human
So I should rely less on myself
And even lesser on others

But to rely on He that is flawless

My flaws make me, me

I refuse to apologize for 'em

I refuse to hide 'em

I choose to flaunt 'em

How else would you recognize me

Without 'em?

Perfectly flawed

Flaws

My flaws na my reminders

Reminders say na human I be

So make I no rely on myself at all

And especially others

But to rely on Gyim wey stand gidigba

I once used to be ashamed of my perceived short comings. I remember not wearing sleeveless for a very long while because of a keloid I have on my arm. It took me a long while to accept it. But now, I forget it's even there. This is me embracing my flaws and flaunting them too. Go flaunt yours.

Frank Friday: Life & Family

"Family wounds are hardest to heal," I once read somewhere. The statement's so true. It hurts more when betrayed or wounded by people you hold dear. The same ones that are meant to have your back and to shield you from the very hurt they themselves are inflicting on you. You know where it gets funny? It's these set of people that don't even realize they're hurting you. I've been on both sides of the coin (both recipient and giver) so I should know. We toss words out casually and carelessly to our loved ones and are more careful with outsiders (most times), why? This post was to look at how we use our words but now...I'm kinda distracted and my heart's heavy. A lot of stuff ain't making sense to me so, I'll leave you with these:👇 Ciao.

Photo credit; YouVersion Bible App

Frank Friday: A Case of Extreme Polarities

Hey guys, I'm happy to be back, howdy? I went AWOL again, yeah yeah, same old same old. Not excusing my lazy ass self though but it's all good.

The week's winding down, yippee right? How's it been for ya? On my end it was ok. It started out fantastically and I believe I rode on that wave all through the week.

So, (lol, my favest word) I've had this story for a while now, struggling with how best to tell it, sigh. It's a love story and for some weird reason, I struggle with writing romance. Not that it's hard to imagine. Have yourself a love filled weekend. The godly one I mean😉

Pray for me will ya?

Cheers... 

Peace. 

Photo Source: friend's Facebook wall

Frank Friday: Midnight Escapades

The things that happen at midnight are better left unsaid but I think my activities are innocuous enough to be talked about lol. I once used to be an active night crawler (nah, not in that way), I mean a night owl. Night time was when I was very active.

That year in school while men slept, Linda cooked, Linda washed, Linda mopped, Linda listened to loud music, Linda did a lot of things in that odd hour. My roommates heard it sha, lol. In my opinion, night time is divine. The silence and stillness, everywhere's so calm.

By night time I mean midnight. In this clime, the midnight hour's associated with a lot of terribles (is that a word please?); as that's when evil thrives under cover of darkness, and all. Midnight hour's that doorway between the living and dead. Yep, I said it. A doorway between the known and the unknown, the banal and the mystical. That hour where anything's possible. It's like a special time when anything can happen. Many folklore associate the midnight hour with magic; tales of mystic, mystery and a certain touch of awe. The dead come back to walk among the living, the pretty maiden changes back to her 'real' form, the wolf-man changes its form, skinchangers and other monsters walk upon the earth's surface. Whew, I could go on and on but I'm not Dean Koontz and the rest. It's when all the magic happens sha, you get.

Simply put, the midnight hour is the best of times to be productive (my opinion). It's the best of times to pray, to listen, to meditate and to strategise. The midnight hour's a time to recharge and reboot by sleeping (for those who don't appreciate what the hour connotes) and I wrote that in the most condescending of tones by the way. I mean, how can you not appreciate that hour? Lol, I kid biko cos I'm now team sleep (on good days). I'd better enjoy it while stock lasts.

It's time I switched off now, it's 1:52 am btw. I've burnt my midnight oil to the ground and my hour's up. Just thought to pen this down.

Ciao...
I had fun scaring folks with that photo😂😹
Oh, and I've got cold. Again. Dunno how the virus keeps getting me😐😑

Frank Friday: Alice Through the Looking Glass

Hello there, how's the holidays been? 
As for myself, I've been indoors reuniting with my movie self where I stumbled upon 'Alice through the looking glass' and upon the phrase; 'you have not ticked your last tock and tocked your last tick' *insertmentalgiggleshere*. For some reason I find it very funny but there's a valid message there. 

So, lemme give you the low down of what I've been up to;

• At last minute, I decided to go down to the family home to spend the Christmas break. I had initially thought I was...well, let's forget that since it didn't happen.

• Christmas came calling, answered the door unlike this young lady here👇

• Then spent the rest of the day and the days that followed indoors eating and watching movies amongst other things (I'd rather not say) until a friend dragged me out.

Well, I just made this post to say that you have not ticked your last tock nor tocked your last tick. 😁😂😁😂
Peace out.

Photo Credit: boredpanda.com

Frank Friday: I Gotta Feeling (November 6th)

Geez, hi guys. This inconsistency bug that keeps getting into me is just darn too strong, I need deliverance I tell you. Hopefully, I'll join the new wave of bloggers that'll make a new year resolution to keep the contents rolling in on a daily basis (each to his/her own).

So, how've we been? How's been the daily grind and hustle? I've been riding on cloud nine ever since November came knocking. Why because, it'll be my birthday in two - really short - days' time and I'm keeping real calm (ice queen things). It's a lie, can't keep calm else I won't be talking writing about it *biggrin*

I just came on here to tell ya'll that it's Friday and that it's time to unwind. Yeah, forget about the trials of the week, forget about the friend that failed to fulfill a promise, forget about the economy, forget about the bills to pay, forget about the peanuts you call salary. Yeah, fogerrit all and just focus on today, on now, on this very moment.

I'm learning the art of mindfulness, that is, being present and I tell you, it isn't easy. The very little success I've managed to achieve so far, I'm so celebrating it cos if that weren't so, I'd probably be worrying about the fact that I can't celebrate this year's birthday but who celebration don epp? So, back to the forgetting, fogerrit all broda, sista.

On being mindful, it didn't turn out the way I'd thought it would not that I'm not making progress cos I so am but it wasn't as easy as I'd thought it'd be. I mean, how difficult can it be to focus on the present right? Well, what I failed to do was factor in my errant, wander lust of a mind. 

My mind's prone to daydreaming and creating up myriad of fantasies so I tend to wander off along side it most times and it's almost always fun in there. It sometimes seems like it's got a mind of its own, you know, another mind of hers minding her (now I'm confused). Well, it just keeps racing on and on (always without me cos I don't race, I stroll) without nary a pause, whew.

It's really trying keeping it in check. No wonder I'm almost always exhausted, cos I'm always running after a naughty mind that won't be still. Well, since we're stuck with each other, I guess it wouldn't hurt to practice mindfulness every now and then. Aiite, I'm done here, you have a swell weekend and...

...nice talking to ya'll.
Peace and cakes.
Back to my 'ohms'.
SOTD (Song of the day) - 'I gotta feeling'...

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Lil. Ms. Poochie

 

It was a gloomy day with dark clouds, a blistering wind and an even darker mood. I had refused every offer of warmth and obstinately set out in quest of my dog, little Ms. Poochie. Lil Ms. had never stayed out this long and I was beginning to worry. In spite of the cold and cough that wracked my tiny frame, I was determined to find her. You see, my lil Ms. had once saved me and now it was my turn to save her.

I was a lonely child, sad and bitter and angry with the world. I was the one to always get into trouble and always the one to bring home bad news. My tanta says I'm the harbinger of evil. Even at birth, I killed my own mother. How evil could I get?

Thus branded, I was careful to not do anything to draw attention to myself; I kept to myself and endeavoured to always be on my best behaviour but trouble always seemed to follow me around confirming tanta's opinion of me. I was desolate and devised several means to write off my life but I was too cowardly to follow through. And then one day, lil Ms. hobbled into my life. I took to her instantly. 

Like me, she had been battered and looked half starved. Her ear was torn and bleeding, I presumed she had been involved in a dog fight. You see, dogs like humans share a lot in common even though I sometimes think they're smarter, the big dogs pick on the smaller and weaker dogs. Now I know why they call it a dog-eat-dog world, that statement had always puzzled me.

Lil Ms. was my saviour in many ways, I learnt to know what it meant to be loved and to love, I learnt to laugh and to play (lil Ms. says I ought to play all day, that it's my right). Above all, I learnt to forgive.

One day, my tanta had beaten me for no good reason and banished me from her presence. I was forbidden to cry before her and so poured it all on poor lil Ms. I kicked at her and bawled out my eyes, I could tell that she was hurt with the way she looked at me just as she hobbled off.

I was sorry to see her go but was too mad to care. After I had calmed down, I went looking for her in all her favourite places; at the pond where she liked to bark at the ducks, at the flower bed where she pretended to be a pretty flower and at the churchyard where she liked to lie and gaze up at the sky, but she wasn't there.

Now I was worried, it would rain soon and I had yet to find lil Ms. My lil Ms. never liked rainstorms, they drove her crazy. I remember her restless pacing, how she used to whimper and howl, I must find her before the storm broke. I'm sorry lil Ms. Please come back.

Now I'm crying, the tears mingling with the rain. I was sorry I'd shouted at her and kicked her. I was sorry I had thrown stones at her. I was sorry I had treated her as my tanta had treated me. I was sorry for it all. I was even more sorry cos she didn't deserve it, she who had loved me with dog-like devotion, I'm sorry lil Ms.

*In loving memory of Cornell.

Photo Credits: Pentaxuser, Flickr.

Frank Friday: Ramblings, Mutterings and What Nots

Gosh, I feel so fagged out. I laughed long and loud in my head at that expression. The last time I used that was in my secondary school days. Oh those were the days. We had a variety of slangs at our disposal that our speech never lost its flavoured touch.

There was never a boring gist. Whose gist would be boring when one had such an arsenal of northern spiced slangs to choose from? Now I'm "irin feeling tech" lol (only my school mates will relate with this).

All of my life, I've stayed in the north and though I don't speak the language, I'm much more northerner than southerner (is that correct? My head's kinda fuddled right now).

It's been a tedious week and I'm undergoing a spell of laziness with this blog. No, I don't think it's laziness, I don't just have enough energy to expend on it right now I think. Will be back with a bounce I promise. Once I'm done figuring out my life that is. I'm always having to figure out my life I don't understand again o, shuo. Am I alone in this? Anyways, just promise you'll wait for me? *batseyelashes* tashakor.

Cheers...

Photo Credit: Nil

(Of course it'd be nil. Did you see any photo there?) Lol

Frank Friday: Update

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the feedback. Tashakor. I didn't know I was making sense but why oh why would you not drop them here? Feedback that is. I don't get it. Isn't it much easier? Okay, I'm done ranting. I appreciate that ya'll take the time to actually visit, I'm humbled.

So, certain someones have prompted my doing an update on this post. I've needed to clarify a few things. Not everyone can do what I did (I'm not even asking anyone to do anything) cos we're not all in the same circumstance(s) neither are we cut from the same cloth. I've had some people say I made it sound so easy. Seriously? Did you read that post at all? There was nothing easy about that decision. Heck, I was terribly terrified (see? Terribly terrified). It was no mean feat I pulled back then, uhuh. Especially in this clime of ours where we've been fed the half bread's better than none and a Bird in hand's worth...yada, yada, yada advice one time too many.

Manage, the common man's anthem (that's actually a post on its own). So, no it wasn't easy but was it worth it? In Les Brown's voice, it was worth it alright?

So, here goes nothing. Yup, nothing 'cos I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm literally flying by the seat of my pants (go figure).

For anyone that wants to try this (again, I don't even advise you to, double standard much?) be absolutely, unconfoundedly sure 'cos my dear, you ain't going to enjoy the experience unless you're a sloth. I hear they don't do much. I was at the end of my tether so to speak, when I made that decision.

Secondly, make sure you have a plan B in case things don't go quite so well. If possible have a plan in all the alphabets, you don't want to be stranded like this little man:

Thirdly, don't let anyone guilt trip you into thinking you made a mistake (unless you did indeed make a mistake). It's not their happiness or health or advancement or career growth or whatever it is that's making you leave, at stake. I think I should insert here that you should clearly evaluate your reason(s) for leaving. Is it something that can actually be corrected, modified, addressed? You get my drift. We don't want you running off and then two weeks down you suffer from the had-i-known syndrome, nope, that wouldn't do. So assess, assess, assess your reason(s) & option(s).

Also, it's advisable to have some pocket money tucked away somewhere. It should be enough to see you through the wait. You'd have to cut down on your budget, a lot of things would have to go and you & the ones around you would or might feel the pinch. Depends on the wait.

For me, the first thing to go was impulse buying. I'm big at that. If it wasn't absolutely necessary, no deal. I'm learning the hard way. Yes, learning 'cos it's still WIP (Work In Progress).

Basically, that's it. Be sure it's not the evil forces in your villa that are pushing your buttons before you leap. Have your options staked out from A-Z if need be. Avoid those guilt trippers biko 'cos that's exactly what they are. They send you off on guilt trips all by yourself and they almost all don't turn out well. Make sure to have a lil' something (cash) that'll hold till the tide washes over (no brainer there).

So, did I miss anything?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime.

P.S: If you don't look anything like the smiling guy in the first image, then, you're probably making a mistake. Think it through.

More Like Flu Friday

Hello to you, 

It's been a flu-tastic week & my hanky's been my must have accessory & faithful companion this past few days. It's the peak of the raining season and it's beginning to take its toll on me. The fact that I got drenched one time didn't help. I love the Rain but I don't appreciate been drenched especially if I didn't plan for it.

I hate been sick (duh, I guess no one likes it) it just has a way of making one feel so useless helpless & life sucks when you're ill...Everything just feels awful (a transfer of feelings I suppose) cause nothing changed.

Well, I decided to check in. Monday Moaners Club will be resuming on Monday by God's grace. Don't be like me, stay flu-free.
Bleary-eyed....
Back to my sneezarathon...
Song playing in the background: 'Cold' by Aqualung & Lucy Schwartz.