Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍

Me coming outta my hiatus

Still me wondering if anyone's here

Oh bloggy, bloggy, bloggy, I've missed you so.

Hi there guys, howdy? This has been a long time coming but only until yesterday, courtesy of a comment on a post concerning my Lagos travails joys which I'd shared on facebook, have I decided to run with it. This title/series is courtesy of that and God willing, I shall be reposting the said post here. It'll be our first journal entry 😁. Timely, if you ask me cos I've encountered one time too many, stuff I'd rather not. In this Lagos.

I'm sure it's no longer news what brought yours truly down west right? If it is, I'm sorry and owe you guys a major throw/flash back. Click here to get the gist of how the Northern belle traded the North for West, epic.

So encountering Lagos was a huge culture shock for me all in all. Gist for another day seeing as this is us officially launching the “Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍” series. Sit back, put your feet up and enjoy the journey. Seeing Lagos through the eyes of a newbie. 

Ekaabo. 

Peace

Little bursts of Clarity

Happy new year lovelies. Circumstances have brought me here much earlier than anticipated. I was gonna be here Val's day armed with the greatest love story ever told or heard. You know what that greatest love story is? It's a beautiful story, I never get tired of reading about it *hint hint*  Some do I'm sure. So, back to why I'm here.

While groping in the midst of my grief this fine morning and pondering on a message I'd sent someone, my eyes alighted on something. A message. Any other day, I prolly wouldn't read much into it but let's just say that message was perfect for the time and state I found myself in. It read: "let there be heart's peace when each day is done", like wow. That says a lot in so little words. The message packed a punch. I'm not going to break it down, I believe it's really self explanatory.

God really is present. He's everywhere. I saw Him in the smile of a child that came with her mum for a condolence visit. She was such a giggly baby. I also saw Him in the hugs shared and received. I saw Him in the prayers and messages of friends and associates. I saw Him in the selflessness and generosity of some persons. I saw Him in a moment of sunshine when my mind began to get clouded and it was a symbolic moment. I saw Him in the messages He brought me at the right time. The right word, the right music, the right devotional. 

And I saw Him again, today in that message.

This period has been a learning curve for me. I'm always learning sha so it wasn't so difficult. I'm learning that I've got patience after all. I'm also glad that what I'm learning, I'd already learnt theoretically and I'm only now learning its practicals. God is so good. I can't adequately describe how real He was to me this period. He was so real, I could practically feel him walking with me and giving me his hand like a gentleman would to a lady when He felt my strength flagging. He was right there whispering words of comfort and cautioning me when the ballistic moments came knocking, lol. Wow. I'm still not done grieving and may never will, (this was expressed so elegantly in a poem a friend shared with me, I hope to share it with you guys someday) but I do not grieve as those without hope. The light of God's word shines its brightest when it's darkest. This is my testimony. Allez up (lol, dunno what that is or if it means anything sef, it just sounds like a good sign off). 

Peace... 

Christmas, here I come

"Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree you stand in verdant beauty." Fret not, I know it ain't Christmas yet, just testing my vocal chords to see if they still work fine (after screaming myself hoarse last night). Christmas' nearly upon us and I'm thinking, where did the year go? 2017 was fast. Too fast. Yesterday I was screaming happy new year and now...wow. I remember my days of listening to carols and religiously memorising them like my life depended on it, 😂 I and my sissy. Life was beautiful then. Not that it ain't now, but childhood innocence counts for something.

So, the year's rounding off once again to another close - glory to God. Is it too early to say merry Christmas? 😁 Merry Christmas. Please, just take it like that. 

😘 

Peace

Red light, Yellow light, Green light

So, I've had Simi's "Joromi" on repeat for a while now and this post is its result. Guys would say that they don't make a move cos they don't see any greenlight. And in my head I'm like, seriously? The funny part is, when that light's shone, they don't or can't even recognize it, which begs the question, why don't guys see the green light flashing? Or are the ladies flashing a teal light mistaking it for green? Lol. But, what are the actions and/or inactions that construe this green light sef?

So, who can relate with missing the lights and signs and/or misconstruing them?

Sigh, who can understand the ways of a man with a woman?* Just random thoughts. Last day at the office for me and I'm pretty much pumped. Bye work, hello holiday...

Peace.

*Proverbs 30:18
Photo credit: google images

Moments

It's not everyday one gets to meet good people and that's why saying goodbye to this set of people's heart breaking. One of my personal persons had to resign recently  and I miss her already. But that's life yeah? Coming and going. Today we meet people and tomorrow we say goodbye, sad.

Well, here's to baby girl, I wish you the best in all of your future endeavours. She was a sweet girl.

Faceless Tales

"This face I wear's not mine. It was given me by life. When I was born, my parents said I had the fairest of faces. But looking at me now, you wouldn't be able to tell." 

"This face I wear's being mine for as long as I can remember. So why then do I feel like a stranger in it? I put it on, I play in it, I laugh in it, I cry in it. It's become a familiar stranger. But then I go home and once there, I take it off. No one need know that I'm faceless." 

"This face I wear's not mine but borrowed. I took it from my last kill and no one's the wiser for it. I had asked him to choose. He made his choice. And so I killed him and took his face. The kids need not know that this isn't their dad. That their dad lies six feet under because I wear his face. And I wear it even better."

Different women, similar stories...

Tales.

The Least Lister

My to do list/bucket list/wish list/whatever list is quite simple; go to Venice, ride in a gondola and have the gondolier sing to me songs of love, heartbreak and tragedy.

I've also got lists for the most absurd of things;

Book list

Poem list

Friends list

Black list

Burn list

Gift list

The least however is,

My to do list

I rarely get to tick things off it cos I hardly stick to it. 

SOTD: Unsteady by X Ambassadors.

On being a wall flower

I'd start by saying, as a wall flower your default answer should be no. At all times (I'll expatiate on that in another post). Today's for the wall flowers in the hizzouse (a show of hands please✌)😂

So here goes:

1. At all times, turn down offers to attend social functions. Yep, end of post. That's what being a wall flowers's all about, saying no. Lol, ok not the end.
2. If perchance you were tricked or coerced or for whatever reason you decide to go, arrive early, you don't want anyone to see you arriving do you? If you find yourself running late, try to slip in quietly and unobtrusively. Let it be that you just did appear out of thin air. 
3. Dress to blend
4. Find your spot; a vantage point where you can see all and not be seen
5. Befriend the couch and do not for any reason disengage from it.
6. Note all exit points in case of emergencies like needing a breath of fresh air or escaping loudmouths or/and for quick and easy getaway. You'll thank me later 😉

So that's that, got any more to add? But why would you want to be a wall flower anyways? Being a wall flower's not for the faint of heart just so you know😋

Disclaimer: This is a tongue in cheek post by the way.

*

*

*

Nah, I lied but personally, I enjoy being a wall flower. Infact,  it's one of my hobbies. I own it. Cheers, gotta run.... 

Peace. 

I love that photo, it's from my phone's wallpaper collection. 

Jolly July

Hi darlings,

Issa new month, happy July guys. How was the weekend? Rainy right?  Yeah, same here and then Lekki was flooded, whew.

Saw pictures online since I've refused to own a TV set. Please don't ask why, cos I assure you that my answer wouldn't make a lick of sense.

There's a lot I wanna say but don't even know where to start. So, that's that. Once again, happy lollified July.

Peace.

Did I mention I spent the entire weekend indoors? Well I'd have felt it if not that I was kept busy with the wig I was working on. Handwork's good I tell you. Sometimes.

Will also be sharing some of my write ups next month. Yesss, I'd participated in a competition on IG (my first😁) and it was fun I tell you. And challenging too. It's not beans writing daily, ya'll can testify to it here, hehe. So, the goal's to share one for everyday. Should've started this month but well, as you can see, we're way into the month. So August by God's grace, will be sharing a write-up everyday God willing.

Since June was 30 days and August 31, will be throwing in a last day bonus😉

Bye people, I leave you with "Holy Grail", it was my sound accompaniment all through my lazy busy weekend😘

April Fools' Day: Origins

How often have we asked how did so and so come about? I know for some (the analytical ones especially) it's often. Most times we participate in events and don't ask why we do what we do. For instance, April 1st is one day that's set aside to destroy prank folks and pull practical jokes.

So today, before I go afooling, the question pops into my head, why is April 1st tagged April fools day? I mean, is it that all the fools convene on this day? Is it like their own special holiday or a day set aside to mark their exploits? Who are these fools BTW? I once came upon a joke about an atheist coming to the court of law to contest not having their own day since most religions of the world have theirs; Christmas, Sallah, Hannukah to mentíon but a few, and the judge responded that they already had their own day, April 1st because only a fool would say there's no God*. 

Anyway, my questions led me to my brainiac friend and companion, Google and it turns out that they also do not exactly know, lol. I mean, there are so many theories pertaining to this day. 

So according to Wiki, April 1st is sometimes called 'All Fools' Day' and was first brought into the limelight by a book written by Geoffrey Chaucer, 'The Canterbury Tales'. If you haven't read 'The Canterbury Tales', then please go do so and tell me all about it. Honestly, I found that book difficult to read. Still struggling with it.

So back to April 1st, there are different narratives as to its origin and that's saying a lot. There's no stand out reason as to how the day came about, nor how its name was derived and it's celebrated differently in different climes. For instance in the UK, pranks stop at 12 noon and anyone who attempts to pull a practical joke after then is the April fool.

In Poland, this is a day for creating elaborate hoax stories. Even the media chimes in. It's said that an alliance that was signed on the 1st of April by the Government had to be back dated in order to be taken seriously. Hmm, it's that serious over there.

Even though one can't exactly pinpoint its origins, advocates of this day believe it is good for the health as it 'encourages "jokes, hoaxes...pranks, [and] belly laughs", and brings all the benefits of laughter including stress relief and reducing strain on the heart.'

Crítics on the other hand believe it is '"creepy and manipulative", "rude", and "a little bit nasty", as well as based on schadenfreude* and deceit.'

For more, read here and here.

So that's that. I'm on the prowl for who to prank😈😈, lemme go plot.

Byeee 😘

*Psalm 14:1- The fool says in his heart, "There is no God."

*Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others

Photo Credits: Elephant Journal, Wonderopolis.

Once Upon a Wish

Once upon a time

I wished upon a well 
I wished for a job
Where I’d be paid kabillions without lifting a finger 
I wished for love, pure and sweet without the heartache   
I wished for painless and ish free human relationships
I wished for a tall dark and handsome man to fawn over me
I wished for a state of the art home in a highbrow area
Without the inconveniences that comes with building a home
I wished to have the perfect family and life
I wished to be successful
But not too successful
I wished to have a joyful life void of challenges 
I wished to be grown up and be my own person
I wished to have the wisdom of the sage sans life's hard lessons 
I wished for a stress free life 
I wished be taken seriously
But not too serious 
I wished to “settle” 
Now I wish to be free

What else do I wish for?
I wish…
What do I want?

A chuckle floats up the well with a soft voice saying 
"Child, you do not know what you wish for 
When the fish fly and birds swim 
When the grave belches its satisfaction 
And the fire cackles in satiation 
Then shall you have your wishes
Till then, get yourself another wishing well."

Photo Credit: Omoniyi David

Valentina gets her flowers

It's yet another valentine's day and this year, I feel like a reluctant celebrant. I doubt it's compulsory to celebrate val's day but, oh well, at least I made an effort (flying its colour, putting up that picture as my DP and yeah, this post). Although last year, I really was all feely feely about val's day. True, see here. Hopefully, I'll be in the mood later. 

Meanwhile, here's wishing you a happy val's day celebrations. Remember, God is love and re-remember not to drown yourselves in cheap thrills, they'll cost you aplenty, be wise. 

So, celebrants, hiders, neutrals and the down right anti-valentine folks, 1❤ 

Peace.

Dream Chasers

She's a dream chaser

No dream's too small or too big.

When I published this post, in my heart of hearts I knew the author was talking to me (dunno about you). It struck a cord deep down on the inside of me (that's not grammatically correct btw). I've always had my friends see my potential even before I see them, I dunno why. God's blessed me with an amazing set of people who are always looking out for me and for that I'm grateful. I do abuse the privilege sometimes Lord knows *coversface* but I'm glad to know that they've got my back anyday, anytime even over our long stretches of silence.

Yeah, I can be silent sometimes. Really silent. Were I to be a man, I'd be known as the strong and silent type (lol).

Once a friend knew about a particular skill set I possessed, the next thing would be them urging me to do something with it, go train it or walk it or whatever, don't just leave it idle.

I'm seated in my room and I ought to be asleep. I mean, sleep's practically crooning in my ears to come to my not so appealing bed but I want to put this down before I turn in.

If there's one thing I've realised is that our fears are just that. Fears. Groundless fears. Baseless fears. Ok, some might be based on something but that's not the point. The point is, even knowing that our fears are groundless, does that still change anything? No.

Most of us' got big dreams and huge awemazing ideas but fear keeps us caged in. It closes us in like a predator and we like the typical prey, turn tail and run.

I believe I'll elaborate on this post another day but one thing I want to say, it's advisable to remove yourself from the noise every once in a while. By noise, I mean anything that'll act as distraction to you meeting your goals.

I started something this year and I'm so thrilled. The signs were just too many to be ignored.

Having said that, I want to use this medium to encourage anyone with a dream; you've nursed it long enough, it's time to let it go forth.

Don't be afraid of failing; be afraid of not trying.

Photo Credit: Omoniyi David. That's a picture of my friend btw, she's a fashion designer; Secafitz. I love what that picture says to me. I'll gush about it another day, not today tonight.

Peace.

The Independent Life

Yay, happy independence day Nigeria (nah, it ain't too late). There's this small voice telling me that I'm being double faced, that I know what I'm doing. I chose to ignore that voice, my greeting still stands good citizens of Nigeria. We're how old again? Since the emancipation that is.

Answer that in your head, but shey you know we're getting old?

Well, it was a saturday over here and I did spend it at a wedding. Sending out hoozahs, howzit going? So, still on the independence matter, I'll be sharing a lil bit about the pains joys of growing up and growing old. Uhm, growing up and growing old? Ok, I'm correct. Today, I have a guest post (yaaaaay). This piece is as a result of a dare and surprisingly, it yielded result. *feeling like a proud teacher*. So here goes.

***

I woke up today and realised I was no longer the fresh, cute, handsome Uniport* guy I once was; it suddenly dawned on me that I no longer receive calls and messages (both the necessary and unnecessary ones) again...

I no longer receive the "send me your account number" messages again. Instead people send their account numbers to me...

I no longer have 1000+ number of friends again and at least 5 visits a day from some....

I no longer carry food stuffs from home like I used to when resuming new school sessions. Instead, I now go to the market by myself to buy rice, beans, Garri, palm oil, groundnut oil, crayfish, salt, provisions etc.

I no longer come home and just enter the kitchen and find something to eat; now, I come home and begin to think of what to eat or not....

I no longer get upkeep money instead I now pay for light bill, LAWMA* bill, security bill, compound dues....

I began to ask myself what happened?.. Answer: MATURITY!! Like me, many of you out there must have asked this same question at one point or the other.

Things are happening so fast and you are confused...You are hoping things will get better... My dear, you don dey old....Nothing will change if you just sit down and do nothing...Before you know it, grey hairs will start showing up and you haven't achieved anything.

You are 30 years and still confused like disco light (Chai)! You are 40 years and still not sure of what to do with yourself (who do you this thing)? Me, I'm 25 years and I haven't achieved one-quarter of all I planned to achieve by now...Mba nu, Irò.... Something has to be done... We can't continue like this.

I encourage everyone who understands what I'm saying; who are in this with me to take a stand and make that change...Take that step... Make that move....

Even God wants you to grow, expand and increase.... You have dwelt too long in one spot... Receive grace for speedy acceleration...

As for me, I'm reviewing and reevaluating my goals...
From a nominal Christian to a world changer.
From thousandnaire to millionaire.

***

So! You've heard read from my guest author. Time stands still for no man you know. It's time to buckle up and hit the ground running especially now one’s got the advantage of youth. I mean, if you do not chase your dreams in your youth, when will you start?
No one said growing up would be easy but it's so worth it. See what I mean here.

Thank you guest author, I must say, I've learnt something.

*University of Portharcourt
*Lagos Waste Management

Photo Credit: 123rf.com

Frank Friday: Update

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the feedback. Tashakor. I didn't know I was making sense but why oh why would you not drop them here? Feedback that is. I don't get it. Isn't it much easier? Okay, I'm done ranting. I appreciate that ya'll take the time to actually visit, I'm humbled.

So, certain someones have prompted my doing an update on this post. I've needed to clarify a few things. Not everyone can do what I did (I'm not even asking anyone to do anything) cos we're not all in the same circumstance(s) neither are we cut from the same cloth. I've had some people say I made it sound so easy. Seriously? Did you read that post at all? There was nothing easy about that decision. Heck, I was terribly terrified (see? Terribly terrified). It was no mean feat I pulled back then, uhuh. Especially in this clime of ours where we've been fed the half bread's better than none and a Bird in hand's worth...yada, yada, yada advice one time too many.

Manage, the common man's anthem (that's actually a post on its own). So, no it wasn't easy but was it worth it? In Les Brown's voice, it was worth it alright?

So, here goes nothing. Yup, nothing 'cos I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm literally flying by the seat of my pants (go figure).

For anyone that wants to try this (again, I don't even advise you to, double standard much?) be absolutely, unconfoundedly sure 'cos my dear, you ain't going to enjoy the experience unless you're a sloth. I hear they don't do much. I was at the end of my tether so to speak, when I made that decision.

Secondly, make sure you have a plan B in case things don't go quite so well. If possible have a plan in all the alphabets, you don't want to be stranded like this little man:

Thirdly, don't let anyone guilt trip you into thinking you made a mistake (unless you did indeed make a mistake). It's not their happiness or health or advancement or career growth or whatever it is that's making you leave, at stake. I think I should insert here that you should clearly evaluate your reason(s) for leaving. Is it something that can actually be corrected, modified, addressed? You get my drift. We don't want you running off and then two weeks down you suffer from the had-i-known syndrome, nope, that wouldn't do. So assess, assess, assess your reason(s) & option(s).

Also, it's advisable to have some pocket money tucked away somewhere. It should be enough to see you through the wait. You'd have to cut down on your budget, a lot of things would have to go and you & the ones around you would or might feel the pinch. Depends on the wait.

For me, the first thing to go was impulse buying. I'm big at that. If it wasn't absolutely necessary, no deal. I'm learning the hard way. Yes, learning 'cos it's still WIP (Work In Progress).

Basically, that's it. Be sure it's not the evil forces in your villa that are pushing your buttons before you leap. Have your options staked out from A-Z if need be. Avoid those guilt trippers biko 'cos that's exactly what they are. They send you off on guilt trips all by yourself and they almost all don't turn out well. Make sure to have a lil' something (cash) that'll hold till the tide washes over (no brainer there).

So, did I miss anything?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime.

P.S: If you don't look anything like the smiling guy in the first image, then, you're probably making a mistake. Think it through.

MMC: A Case for Monday

Hi friends, as a wee bit of reminder;

"Monday Moaners' Club (MMC) is a series of short - really short - stories loosely based on the grief all some of us seem to feel whenever Monday rolls round armed with tons of work."

Enjoy its new episode. 

                                  *** 

"Court," the orderly tries to bring order back into the rowdy room, “Court," he shouts again. The judge bangs his gavel and this time the room quiets down. “Call in the next case," he says to the registrar. 

This particular case from the onset had been a very interesting one, the People vs: Monday, he couldn't wait to hear the defendant's testimony.

"I call upon Mr. Grouch," the orderly declares.

A big grumpy man makes his way noisily to the witness stand. He answers some questions and having undertaken the oath to speak the truth, the proceedings continue. The next witness, Monday is called upon and takes the stand.

"Mr. Monday, you stand accused of sleep thiefery, doldrumming, traffic jams, forceful sobriety, cold showers and hurried breakfasts among several other counts. How plead you?"

"Not guilty my lord."

The judge looks at him askance and he goes on to elaborate.

"My lord you see, human beigns are creatures of habit, circumspect beings and if they aren't pushed, they won't attain their peak. I'm the first day of the working week hence it falls upon me to make sure they hit the ground running as that'll set the pace for the rest of my colleagues, I make it easy for them. Should I fail, the rest of the days would be a flop until flouncy Friday comes along to take them for a fun ride. The mess thereafter is left for me to clean up and I cannot fail my superiors now can I?"

Though he wasn't found guilty, he wasn't acquitted either. So I leave it to you readers, is Monday as bad as he is made out to be?

Have a stress free week ya'll...

Peace.

Photo Credit: Google.

Faces

There are faces 

And then there are faces

A bitch resting face

A neutral face

A mad face

An angry face

A sick face

A tired face

A world weary face

A bright face

A cunning face

And tons of other faces

I love them all equally 

Or unequally?

This face I wear

Ain't mine

I borrow faces

To emote feelings

Running wild in my head 

In my body 

In my mind

I wear many faces

Each day

A different face

Each situation

A different face

Each occasion

A different face

These faces I wear-

Long

Happy

Sad

Thoughtful

Disappointed ‎

Stressed

Strained

Wise

Open

Honest

Scowly

Scarred

Fearsome

Feisty

-I wear them with pride

Today it's a shiny face

Tomorrow it's a mask of a face

Some with a measure of hesitancy

I wear

Some faces are formidable

And threatening to other faces

I wear these faces only when needed

On extreme contrivances

Many faces have I

But I'm stuck with two

These two faces I find

Are all that I need

They carry the messages

I desire to spread

These faces of mine

Have served unreservedly

Faithfully

Loyally

Swerving neither left nor right

As straight as parallel lines

Remain they

Poker-faced

Unfazed

These are the faces I favour

This face I wear

Wears me out sometimes 

I teach it to laugh 

But it adamantly refuses 

So I borrow a laughing face

This isn't my face

My face is fair

And long

And fair

And pimply

And dimply

That's my face alright

But the face that looks out at me now

I fear

I do not recognise

This face of mine

It draws people to me

And chases others away from me

This face of mine

Mine yet not mine

This face I wear

Does it accurately portray me?

Am I my face?

Is my face I?

This face I wear

Simple yet complex

Underneath the lines 

The care worn lines

Of having lived

Underneath the crags and craters

That garnish the surface of my face

Lies yet more faces

The face of worry

The face of doubt 

The face of shame

The face of anxiety

Many faces have I 

But above all

I prefer my homely face

My homely face exudes peace

My homely face exudes love

Tolerance 

Acceptance

This face I wear

Which do you wear?

I wear the face of success 

And when I'm feeling exceptional gay

I wear the fey

The fey face never fails me

When times are bad

Then comes out the bold

The rock face's strong and hard

But then 

It's too heavy for comfort 

I can barely carry it around 

I pray they continue to serve

These faces of mine

Until the day

I put them finally to rest

And that I shall do with a smile

Knowing that I have used them all

And exhausted them of whatever life drop

They might have possessed

Photo Credit; Musings from Mt. Helicon