Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: Travails of a Lagos Driver

Yoohoo, Lagos wife here.

 

Welcome to Lagos😊

Dear diary,

It's been four months, three weeks and two days since this post was promised, and finally, it materialises. I've been quite hesitant about writing on this particular topic because I don't want to be in danger of generalising. I'd rather err on the side of caution but having the same experience again and again, I'm convinced it's a way of life and so, I write.

The average Lagos driver is selfish. Selfish and uncouth (think danfo bus drivers). It doesn't help that they have the support of their passengers. Most Lagosians will support wrong behavior. Why, because it serves their selfish interest. Yes, you'll be late to whatever appointment it is that you have and you're trying to beat traffic, but bro, do it the right way na, and not by creating an extra lane that'll lead to even more chaos. 

Oh, my lane's completely blocked with traffic, ok, lemme face incoming vehicles in the next lane even though it's wrong and push the rightful users off. And then, everywhere turns into a madhouse, with one neither moving forward nor back.  🤦🏻It's not you people I sha blame, it's the shortcut culture that has pervaded everywhere which paints doing the right thing as being dull and slow, that I blame.

“Guy no de dull yourself” is the common slang. 

Le hubs says driving in  Lagos is a test of faith. Oh boy, is he right. Infact, so is walking. As a pedestrian, walking on your supposedly safe pedestrian lane, you ain't safe. I'm sorry.

Anyways, with all that goes on in the city, the average Lagosian will still claim to love the lifestyle. Seriously? A favourite pastime of theirs is to discuss their travails in the city albeit, in a self satisfied accomplished way. Like, wow, after all of the stress and wahala, look at us, we're still here, still hustling (that term could mean a whole lotta things, please don't ask me. It seems to be the official  lingua franca around here, to hustle). You know, we're suffering but still smiling. Sigh, what a mentality. 

I sometimes think I'm becoming a Lagosian sef. Emphasis on “I think” o cos I don't see that happening at all. For instance, after whining about how driving in Lagos makes one so tired and grossed out (which it does), I'll go on to give a self satisfying statement about how accomplished I am to have survived the mad jungle out there. Then I'll wrap it up by saying, “I mean, if I can drive in this Lagos, I can drive anywhere else”. Right? 😁 That statement ain't true, we know that right? That you term an act/behaviour as "excelling" or “smartness” here might not mean same thing in another clime. I daresay it won't. What works here wouldn't in a saner clime abeg. 

So, with driving being what it is in Lagos,  it's made its grand entry into my list of (what I term) extreme sports activities. Not for the faint of heart. Many times, I'm almost dissuaded from taking to the wheels when I think of the trials ahead; the treacherous nature of the roads and the dare devilry of its users.

The other day, I commented to hubby about how HBP prone patients should not be driving in Lagos but to hire drivers or something, because driving on these roads would give them an attack. Which brings to mind a facebook post I once made about making liberal use of my car horn when I finally start to drive but guess what? The danfo drivers🚌and other road users beat me to it. It would seem we were all thinking same thing. 

But I'll hold my peace because I'm yet to have the soul shaking kind of horn that I desire. You know, the type you hear, and your soul takes flight? Yes, that type. They should just wait first. I'll out horn these danfo drivers and others who think they know how to play music with theirs. I'll show them how it's done. Welcome to the fray.

Bye diary,
Cheers. 

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: The Market Woman

Aloha diary, 

I realise I didn't talk about my very first time in an international market, aww.  I'd wanted to but forgot? I guess. Anyways, I recall how my head wouldn't stop swivelling upon stepping feet in one, lol.

There was so much to see. And buy. And then see again. So much. My eyes couldn't take it all in at once. I nearly became dizzy. I'd gone with my sissy for some wedding shopping at the highly heard of Balogun market. 

One of the things I've come to learn so far's that, there are different markets for different commodities in Lagos. The other day, MIL took me to the market, another international market.  This time, for electronics, that'd be the Alaba international market (I keep forgetting the correct pronunciation of that “Alaba”). As in holding hands kinda taking o, lol. We'd get to a crossing, mum grabs my hand. To a rowdy place, another hand grabbing, I was just feeling amused. I'm still very much finding my footing on this soil though (it's probably not helping that I barely step out) and at the same time struggling to acclimatize to the rowdiness (the city's comprised of stuff that do not make me like a city; noise and crowd) and the same time, trying to find my balance as a newly wed.

Whew, they make it look easy. The others. Don't ask me who the others are, they're just that. On both occasions though, I'd come back feeling like this:

Lol, who wouldn't have? So much for going to the market. Until next time diary,

Cheerio

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍:The wedding party 🎊

Dear Diary,

Today I attended my first ever Lagos party  aka wedding aka owanbe *cues in Banky's “ain't no party like a Lagos party”*. I highly doubt my kind of party's what he was singing about, but still, “ain't no party like a Lagos party”. Hehe.

So, I'd attended with a certain mindset (the things I'd heard? Hmm) and I wasn't disappointed. What stood out for me most was the plethora of high class fashion(?) on display. *shrugs shoulders* I'm no fashionista, so I can't tell what's high fashion or not, but what I mean by high class fashion in this context, is the variety of styles that were on display. Wait, is it high class fashion or high end fashion?*facepalm* This is beyond me. Bottom line, I liked what I saw c'est finis. Them sisi ekos (Lagos belles) sure do know how to dress up and turn up. 

At some point I began to feel like the odd one cos guess what, I'd tied iro and buba, young sisi like me. Lol.

I really dunno what's obtainable in the iro and buba game, whether it's strictly for mamas (that's the general consensus) or young 'uns like us can also participate. I hear friends say they can't wear them and yours truly was once in that boat until she saw the light in person of a young girl who rocked it. 

My take though on fashion in general's that, whatever rocks your frame and is comfy and is carried by your conscience, why not? As for me, I tilt towards the conservative and laid back spectrum. In all, it was a lovely fashion parade wedding with me making mental notes 📝 of styles to sew next, haha. I kept musing about how I finally get to witness the "Lagos turn up" folks shout about on social media.  If anything, Lagosians ain't playing.

Hubby though was of the opinion that I was yet to see anything, that that was a precursor of things that were to come (pls bear with my grammar😂). 

But outside of fashion, I couldn't tell much any difference between a Lagos wedding and that of others, like say, Abuja. I had a swell time though, regardless of having arrived the venue feeling tired and drowsy. Why? Seven letters, one word, go!









Traffic! 🚥

Peace...

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: Imagine Dragons

Dear diary, 

I have a confession to make, I'm a scaredy cat. Never knew how much of a scaredy cat I was until my relocation to Lagos. Lagos, the monster that devours the hapless unsuspecting victim (at least in my head). I've been asked to not see it in that light, na God go help person. It brought out all my fears, both real and imagined and it turns out that the latter's the worse.

So, hubby practically pushed me out of the nest today. I'd been assigned this mission for a long time; “go to Egbeda” but I've been terrified of doing that on my own. Emphasis on “on my own”. At least I've passed through several times heavily "guarded", lol. Fear sha, smh. For those that know the distance between Igando and Egbeda, it's not such a big deal. I mean, I only get to enter one bus. This has made me remember my first individual trip at night to Ikotun *shudders*, another time. 

So I did and mission was successful until my return journey where instead of going to Igando, oga bus driver took me to Ikotun. Didn't notice in time because I was busy composing this. 

Well, to God be the glory, none of my imagined fears came to pass like missing a bus stop which technically (wasn't my fault) happened or being told that my English is too much or the bus leaving me because I'm walking too slowly (which nearly happened) or one conductor insulting me on top of my change because, reminder.

Ah Lagos, it's well. 

Shout out to hubby for pulling off a typical mother hen or is it eagle routine on me, you do well 😏. Lagos sha, it's not for me. I know this.

Peace...
Trivia: today's entry subject matter's a band name. Yup. I love their song “Believer”, check it out. 

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍

Me coming outta my hiatus

Still me wondering if anyone's here

Oh bloggy, bloggy, bloggy, I've missed you so.

Hi there guys, howdy? This has been a long time coming but only until yesterday, courtesy of a comment on a post concerning my Lagos travails joys which I'd shared on facebook, have I decided to run with it. This title/series is courtesy of that and God willing, I shall be reposting the said post here. It'll be our first journal entry 😁. Timely, if you ask me cos I've encountered one time too many, stuff I'd rather not. In this Lagos.

I'm sure it's no longer news what brought yours truly down west right? If it is, I'm sorry and owe you guys a major throw/flash back. Click here to get the gist of how the Northern belle traded the North for West, epic.

So encountering Lagos was a huge culture shock for me all in all. Gist for another day seeing as this is us officially launching the “Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍” series. Sit back, put your feet up and enjoy the journey. Seeing Lagos through the eyes of a newbie. 

Ekaabo. 

Peace

Frank Friday: In the cool of the Morning

 

Hi there, *waves vigorously and enthusiastically*

So! I've resurfaced. I had to. I knew I would. The question was, when? Well, now we know. It's been a minute, wow. To think it's been exactly a month I last said hi😄. It feels so good to be back. 

So, hi again. How're you? Missed me? Missed me not? Oh well, I trust you've been well. If you reside in Nigeria, well, you have no option other than that, regardless. Yeah, regardless.

So, a lotta water has indeed passed under the proverbial bridge, whew.

1. Someone took a really long break from her  hair business. Too long a break if you ask me. But you're not, right? 
2. Another someone finally rounded off her studies. Awaiting results *fingers crossed*
3. Someone travelled miles to hook up with man *face palm* (a friend's phrasing). 
4. Still that someone relocated to a foreign land. A land of the non smilers (thankfully, that someone's surrounded by the opposite). A land of the hustlers and buzzites - Lagos. 
5. And yet another someone upped and took a bold step into the oldest institution ever institutionalised (lol). Yep. 

Who's been this someone biko? Righto, yours truly, moi. And that institution's marriage!! Yaaay right? Lol, ok, whatever.

So bloggy dear might be taking a different direction soon. Can't say what exactly and why, let's call it a feeling. Even better, intuition. But it'll be for good, really. 

More gist

More yarn

And yes, insight into what the dark side other side feels like. Come join us, I'm recruiting😉

Hang in there, I've got a juicy story to share. Will post Tuesday, God willing. Courtesy of a benevolent contributor. Shout out to Brian, all the way from Kenya. Salut!

See y'all soon...

Peace