Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: Travails of a Lagos Driver

Yoohoo, Lagos wife here.

 

Welcome to Lagos😊

Dear diary,

It's been four months, three weeks and two days since this post was promised, and finally, it materialises. I've been quite hesitant about writing on this particular topic because I don't want to be in danger of generalising. I'd rather err on the side of caution but having the same experience again and again, I'm convinced it's a way of life and so, I write.

The average Lagos driver is selfish. Selfish and uncouth (think danfo bus drivers). It doesn't help that they have the support of their passengers. Most Lagosians will support wrong behavior. Why, because it serves their selfish interest. Yes, you'll be late to whatever appointment it is that you have and you're trying to beat traffic, but bro, do it the right way na, and not by creating an extra lane that'll lead to even more chaos. 

Oh, my lane's completely blocked with traffic, ok, lemme face incoming vehicles in the next lane even though it's wrong and push the rightful users off. And then, everywhere turns into a madhouse, with one neither moving forward nor back.  🤦🏻It's not you people I sha blame, it's the shortcut culture that has pervaded everywhere which paints doing the right thing as being dull and slow, that I blame.

“Guy no de dull yourself” is the common slang. 

Le hubs says driving in  Lagos is a test of faith. Oh boy, is he right. Infact, so is walking. As a pedestrian, walking on your supposedly safe pedestrian lane, you ain't safe. I'm sorry.

Anyways, with all that goes on in the city, the average Lagosian will still claim to love the lifestyle. Seriously? A favourite pastime of theirs is to discuss their travails in the city albeit, in a self satisfied accomplished way. Like, wow, after all of the stress and wahala, look at us, we're still here, still hustling (that term could mean a whole lotta things, please don't ask me. It seems to be the official  lingua franca around here, to hustle). You know, we're suffering but still smiling. Sigh, what a mentality. 

I sometimes think I'm becoming a Lagosian sef. Emphasis on “I think” o cos I don't see that happening at all. For instance, after whining about how driving in Lagos makes one so tired and grossed out (which it does), I'll go on to give a self satisfying statement about how accomplished I am to have survived the mad jungle out there. Then I'll wrap it up by saying, “I mean, if I can drive in this Lagos, I can drive anywhere else”. Right? 😁 That statement ain't true, we know that right? That you term an act/behaviour as "excelling" or “smartness” here might not mean same thing in another clime. I daresay it won't. What works here wouldn't in a saner clime abeg. 

So, with driving being what it is in Lagos,  it's made its grand entry into my list of (what I term) extreme sports activities. Not for the faint of heart. Many times, I'm almost dissuaded from taking to the wheels when I think of the trials ahead; the treacherous nature of the roads and the dare devilry of its users.

The other day, I commented to hubby about how HBP prone patients should not be driving in Lagos but to hire drivers or something, because driving on these roads would give them an attack. Which brings to mind a facebook post I once made about making liberal use of my car horn when I finally start to drive but guess what? The danfo drivers🚌and other road users beat me to it. It would seem we were all thinking same thing. 

But I'll hold my peace because I'm yet to have the soul shaking kind of horn that I desire. You know, the type you hear, and your soul takes flight? Yes, that type. They should just wait first. I'll out horn these danfo drivers and others who think they know how to play music with theirs. I'll show them how it's done. Welcome to the fray.

Bye diary,
Cheers. 

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: The Market Woman

Aloha diary, 

I realise I didn't talk about my very first time in an international market, aww.  I'd wanted to but forgot? I guess. Anyways, I recall how my head wouldn't stop swivelling upon stepping feet in one, lol.

There was so much to see. And buy. And then see again. So much. My eyes couldn't take it all in at once. I nearly became dizzy. I'd gone with my sissy for some wedding shopping at the highly heard of Balogun market. 

One of the things I've come to learn so far's that, there are different markets for different commodities in Lagos. The other day, MIL took me to the market, another international market.  This time, for electronics, that'd be the Alaba international market (I keep forgetting the correct pronunciation of that “Alaba”). As in holding hands kinda taking o, lol. We'd get to a crossing, mum grabs my hand. To a rowdy place, another hand grabbing, I was just feeling amused. I'm still very much finding my footing on this soil though (it's probably not helping that I barely step out) and at the same time struggling to acclimatize to the rowdiness (the city's comprised of stuff that do not make me like a city; noise and crowd) and the same time, trying to find my balance as a newly wed.

Whew, they make it look easy. The others. Don't ask me who the others are, they're just that. On both occasions though, I'd come back feeling like this:

Lol, who wouldn't have? So much for going to the market. Until next time diary,

Cheerio

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍:The wedding party 🎊

Dear Diary,

Today I attended my first ever Lagos party  aka wedding aka owanbe *cues in Banky's “ain't no party like a Lagos party”*. I highly doubt my kind of party's what he was singing about, but still, “ain't no party like a Lagos party”. Hehe.

So, I'd attended with a certain mindset (the things I'd heard? Hmm) and I wasn't disappointed. What stood out for me most was the plethora of high class fashion(?) on display. *shrugs shoulders* I'm no fashionista, so I can't tell what's high fashion or not, but what I mean by high class fashion in this context, is the variety of styles that were on display. Wait, is it high class fashion or high end fashion?*facepalm* This is beyond me. Bottom line, I liked what I saw c'est finis. Them sisi ekos (Lagos belles) sure do know how to dress up and turn up. 

At some point I began to feel like the odd one cos guess what, I'd tied iro and buba, young sisi like me. Lol.

I really dunno what's obtainable in the iro and buba game, whether it's strictly for mamas (that's the general consensus) or young 'uns like us can also participate. I hear friends say they can't wear them and yours truly was once in that boat until she saw the light in person of a young girl who rocked it. 

My take though on fashion in general's that, whatever rocks your frame and is comfy and is carried by your conscience, why not? As for me, I tilt towards the conservative and laid back spectrum. In all, it was a lovely fashion parade wedding with me making mental notes 📝 of styles to sew next, haha. I kept musing about how I finally get to witness the "Lagos turn up" folks shout about on social media.  If anything, Lagosians ain't playing.

Hubby though was of the opinion that I was yet to see anything, that that was a precursor of things that were to come (pls bear with my grammar😂). 

But outside of fashion, I couldn't tell much any difference between a Lagos wedding and that of others, like say, Abuja. I had a swell time though, regardless of having arrived the venue feeling tired and drowsy. Why? Seven letters, one word, go!









Traffic! 🚥

Peace...

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍

Me coming outta my hiatus

Still me wondering if anyone's here

Oh bloggy, bloggy, bloggy, I've missed you so.

Hi there guys, howdy? This has been a long time coming but only until yesterday, courtesy of a comment on a post concerning my Lagos travails joys which I'd shared on facebook, have I decided to run with it. This title/series is courtesy of that and God willing, I shall be reposting the said post here. It'll be our first journal entry 😁. Timely, if you ask me cos I've encountered one time too many, stuff I'd rather not. In this Lagos.

I'm sure it's no longer news what brought yours truly down west right? If it is, I'm sorry and owe you guys a major throw/flash back. Click here to get the gist of how the Northern belle traded the North for West, epic.

So encountering Lagos was a huge culture shock for me all in all. Gist for another day seeing as this is us officially launching the “Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍” series. Sit back, put your feet up and enjoy the journey. Seeing Lagos through the eyes of a newbie. 

Ekaabo. 

Peace

Love, The Greatest

His blood,

Freely given.

His name,

Freely accessed.

His forgiveness,

Freely shared.

For you.

For me.

For all of us.

None despised,

None forsaken.

One died for all,

Once and for all.

Not all dying for one.

Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friend(s).

That's what Jesus did. To think that He did that even before we knew or loved Him. It's just like me taking the place of a random convict on death row. Madness aye? In a way that's the kind of crazy love God has for us and he asks us to open our hearts and bask in this love, His love. In him. How hard can that be aye? Well, don't look at me.

So, while you all go out to enjoy the day, let this be fore front (sounds like tautology *shrugs*), Jesus loves you. No love, no matter how beautiful could ever measure up to His. It'll always fall short. We can only try. The only love akin to His (IMO) is that of a mother's and even that's a poor replica.

Anyhoo, I didn't come to preach, I got carried away. So I'm off to hug the lover of my soul hehe. That is, until He reveals himself in the flesh through one handsome bobo designed by Him and for me. Adios. 

Peace... 

Red light, Yellow light, Green light

So, I've had Simi's "Joromi" on repeat for a while now and this post is its result. Guys would say that they don't make a move cos they don't see any greenlight. And in my head I'm like, seriously? The funny part is, when that light's shone, they don't or can't even recognize it, which begs the question, why don't guys see the green light flashing? Or are the ladies flashing a teal light mistaking it for green? Lol. But, what are the actions and/or inactions that construe this green light sef?

So, who can relate with missing the lights and signs and/or misconstruing them?

Sigh, who can understand the ways of a man with a woman?* Just random thoughts. Last day at the office for me and I'm pretty much pumped. Bye work, hello holiday...

Peace.

*Proverbs 30:18
Photo credit: google images

Moments

It's not everyday one gets to meet good people and that's why saying goodbye to this set of people's heart breaking. One of my personal persons had to resign recently  and I miss her already. But that's life yeah? Coming and going. Today we meet people and tomorrow we say goodbye, sad.

Well, here's to baby girl, I wish you the best in all of your future endeavours. She was a sweet girl.

Rock 'n' Smile

Admittedly, I don't regard smiling as an area of strength for me so I'm always taken in by a genuine one. I came across an old lady today. Yes, lady not woman with a really beautiful smile. It was the smile that got me I must confess. I wondered what a radiant smile could be doing on such a face. It was such a contrast.

I kinda have a thing for smiles since I find it difficult manufacturing one (for lack of a better word) for people.

There are tons of things to smile about, yeah and a lot of things on the other hand to worry about and I applaud and envy those who make the right choice of smiling.💪

The Bible says a cheerful heart doeth good like medicine but a heavy heart drieth up the bones.

Note to self, learn to smile more even foolishly if need be and yesss,  I came across this very lovely song by Linkin park,  'Roads Untraveled'. I loveet. Another thing I'm partial to? Rock. Here's a video; you can sing along, lyrics' the image above. 

For the Love of Musiq

I rocked with these guys during the weekend. Hey, envy not😋👅

Yay, it's the first work day of the week and I'm pretty much pumped about it💃. Time to act like an adult. Hi lovelies, how was your very long weekend? Most of us put it to good use I'm sure and most of us wasted spent it on 'us time' 😌😊.

Yesterday was Nigeria's Democracy day so it was a long weekend and I pretty much spent it cooped up indoors with youtube for company. Which brings me tooo *drumroll* Jidenna. Whew, I've never had a celebrity crush, he's definitely the first. I never knew Janelle Monae had a production company or is it a record label? Music aficionados please help. I love Janelle and her pompadours and her suits and for the fact that she sings social conscious songs and so I was pleased to see that Jidenna's her product or protégé or signed up to her record? Well, bottom line is, I'm liking it. Wondaland record's the name and all her acts are really something. They have a special kinda magic if you ask me.  I love all of 'em. Ok, maybe a lil extra with Jidenna 😍😍😍

Definitely my kind of music.

Trivia: when you're asked what do you do all day indoors, tell them you're communing with the gods, hehe.

Photo Credit: Wondaland 

Valentina gets her flowers

It's yet another valentine's day and this year, I feel like a reluctant celebrant. I doubt it's compulsory to celebrate val's day but, oh well, at least I made an effort (flying its colour, putting up that picture as my DP and yeah, this post). Although last year, I really was all feely feely about val's day. True, see here. Hopefully, I'll be in the mood later. 

Meanwhile, here's wishing you a happy val's day celebrations. Remember, God is love and re-remember not to drown yourselves in cheap thrills, they'll cost you aplenty, be wise. 

So, celebrants, hiders, neutrals and the down right anti-valentine folks, 1❤ 

Peace.

Death's Last Call

Idly wondering what the hullabaloo was all about, Keinde angrily flipped through the pages of her book. The minutes were precious, she couldn't afford to miss her deadline.

The noise drew closer still and she could vaguely make out what the crowd was chanting

"Crucify him."

"Burn him."

"Kill him."

"We want Belialas."

Not again she groans. This was a blood thirsty lot, ever ready to kill innocent souls egged on by the brotherhood's apostolates. Who on Earth would prefer Belialas the terrible over whoever was been led to the slaughter? This fella they were burning or stoning or crucifying at this early hour must be one hardened soul.

Since moving to this neighborhood, it had been one lynching or the other. Her family had strongly resisted her relocating to such a neighbourhood they termed as scum. Even the name pointed  out to the hopelessness of it, Dead End Zone. She wondered whether the developers were high on something the day they came up with such name.

Many said the early settlers had had one misfortune or the other befall them and they had hurriedly fled considerably lesser than they had arrived, hence the name.

Whatever the story, Keinde couldn't be bothered. She was here on a mission and was going to see it through. The life of a Journalist was a perilous one, not to talk of that of an investigative journalist.

Word had reached her Organisation of the nefarious activities carried out by the Sect called The Brotherhood and she had been dispatched to go digging.

It was said that they were responsible for most of the disappearances and killings reported on the media and the neighbourhood lived under their shadow.

The crowd's chant intrudes into her thoughts. With a sigh of exasperation, she gets up to close the window but her hand freezes as looking out, she recognises the cause of the crowd's ire. What? It was the young Rabbi, a really charismatic fellow. She had sat in on a few of his teachings and had even interviewed him. He was one of the few who openly rebuked the activities of the brotherhood.

Surely there'd been a mistake? Such a nice man, what could he have done? And the crowd chose him over Belialas? No, something smelt fishy and that's when her journalistic instincts kicked in. She could feel strongly that this man's death was tied to her investigations.

She rushed back to her desk, grabbed her note pad, a pen and tape recorder and rushed out the door. This would make for a good story she thought.

Photo Credit: Google

A Nerdy World

This write up's just wow, I don't know what to term it {I leave that to you}. I enjoyed reading it and I feel you just might enjoy it as well especially for the literary minded persons like myself, I'm sure you'd relate with this. 

Reading's everything, I can't emphasise that enough. It's widely said that knowledge is power and one major way of acquiring knowledge's via reading but 'nuff said already, let's get back to that piece; mind, I took the liberty of Sourcemodifying a few things like switching the genders and some books. Enjoy→

Don’t date a woman who reads. She will be interesting. Your romantic dates will be like Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Your late night conversation will take hours to end. She will throw ideas and expect you to bounce something back. Brain exercises are not for the lazies.

Don’t date a woman who reads. She is fine spending time on her own. She can entertain herself for hours with or without you. A Brief History of Time might be your worst enemy. You might wonder if she's having an affair with Silas Marner or Harry Potter. You will always have to share her time with books. And, when you work late, she won’t get upset; books will keep her company.

Don’t date a woman who reads. She is hard to please. Ideas and imagination are the fuel to her brain. You will chase the knowledge and become a better version of yourself. She might want to teach you How To Win Friends And Influence People.

Don’t date a woman who reads. She is intelligent. Smart people know to invest in themselves. You will have to keep up and be more than just a hot body or a fine face. Beauty fades. Intelligence will show you the road From Here to Eternity. She will turn you from Good to Great.

Don’t date a woman who reads. She will listen to your thoughts and dreams. She won’t let you sit still; she will make you chase them. It cannot be harder than The Journey To The West. She will tell you that your only limit is you.

Don’t date a woman who reads. She will Think And Grow Rich. She knows reading is always a bargain. She will borrow thousands of people’s brains to turn her vision into reality. The Richest Man In Babylon will be put to shame.

Don’t date a woman who reads. She is a critical thinker. She has seen different opinions through thousands of pages. Reading teaches great analytical skills. Every little challenge will have a strategy session from The Art Of War. If you have a tough decision, she might have the solution. And you will have to learn to accept help from others.

Don’t date a woman who reads. She has a sense of perspective. She knows her problems will never be harder than the people in The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas.

Don’t date a woman who reads. She will always want to try new things. She will always try to get more out of life. For her, life's like an adventure like Around The World In Eighty Days. She will teach you how to Choose Yourself.

Don’t date a woman who reads. Her inner child is more alive. The Age of Innocence will never come to an end. Her curiosity and creativity will survive through school. And she won’t stop asking questions to find The Art Of Happiness.

Don’t date a woman who reads. She can be empathetic. She is used to putting herself in every character’s shoes. She will be there to pick you up when you fall. She knows Attitudes of Gratitude: How to Give and Receive Joy Everyday of Your Life.

Don’t date a woman who reads. She will like to challenge you like A Call To The Wild. She will give you book suggestions that will drive you crazy. She will push you hard to grow, and to share the journey with her. Nothing will be nice and smooth like a bed of roses. But the more you open your mind, the more things you will discover. And the more you read, the more you will realize you know nothing. And you won’t be able to stop chasing new ideas.

Don’t date a woman who reads. You will have a hard time reading her. The key to her heart lies below thousands of books. You will have to read things you don’t like. You will read things that will make you cry. You will read things that make you uncomfortable. That is part of every relationship. It will take real effort to meet her Great Expectations.

Don’t date a woman who reads. Because she is a storyteller. Everything through her eyes will look magical. One day she might tell your children The Greatest Story Never Told.

Never date a woman who reads. She is dangerous. Even if she looks like Jane Eyre, you will always find her sexy. You'll never leave her. Because every moment is like a new story in A Thousand And One Nights. She will be smart enough to see your value. Unlike The Snow Queen, she will treat you well. One day she might tell you that your Love Story was Right From The Beginning.

<And I couldn't resist chipping in this last bit :)>

Never date a woman who reads. She's a genius. She'll tell you that a A Tale of Two Cities is more than a tale and A Series of Unfortunate Events is no barrier to achieving her dreams.

Credit: Cammiphamm

Photo Credit: Google

In the name of Love

Love's in the air.
On cupid's wings it rides.
Everywhere.
Love.
In our sleeping.
In our dreaming.
In our waking hours.
It hovers.
No thanks a little.
To St. Valentine's mettle.

Source
P.S, I totally dig cheesy :)

Yasssss😁, it's that time again, that season, where we get to pull a fast one with the term 'love' - and by 'we', I mean you cos I'm absolutely, completely, undeniably innocent of any wrong doing😜.

It's Valentine's Day and the 'L' word gets to have a comeback, to have its turn in the spotlight. It will be dragged out despite its protests of the timing not being right, bandied around, coerced, cajoled and even threatened - but it won't go extinct I assure you.

Oh poor love, now I understand why you hover, you're anxious. I am too because sadly, much atrocities will be done in your name. However, that doesn't take away from the fact that you're beautiful and worth celebrating. Feb 14th is much touted as lovers' day - though I wonder, why not Nov 6th?- and vigorously celebrated but it shouldn't end there, it ought transcend the limits of a day because it's special.

Love is beyond been tucked away and preserved for specials occasions like that dress you've got hanging in your closet which you've never worn because that special occasion's still to arrive. Every day's a special occasion in case you don't know or you've forgotten. But I digress, love ought to be an everyday act, a conscious effort on our parts. The sad thing however's that it'll be everywhere but where it ought to be, our hearts. For as much as we confess love, we also should try to show it, there's a great divide between confession and expression. But what do I know?

Mopey Happy Valentine's day ya'll😀.

P.P.S, it's all about this

Self love
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