Frank Friday: Life & Family

"Family wounds are hardest to heal," I once read somewhere. The statement's so true. It hurts more when betrayed or wounded by people you hold dear. The same ones that are meant to have your back and to shield you from the very hurt they themselves are inflicting on you. You know where it gets funny? It's these set of people that don't even realize they're hurting you. I've been on both sides of the coin (both recipient and giver) so I should know. We toss words out casually and carelessly to our loved ones and are more careful with outsiders (most times), why? This post was to look at how we use our words but now...I'm kinda distracted and my heart's heavy. A lot of stuff ain't making sense to me so, I'll leave you with these:👇 Ciao.

Photo credit; YouVersion Bible App

Princess Warrior

So many fights

So many battles 

The greatest I fear

Is the battle of self

I have an ongoing battle 

One I thought

I won a long time ago

A pyrrhic victory at best

But a victory nonetheless

Alas I fear, 

An old enemy's risen.

From the shadows

It had been banished to,

It arises

But fear not, 

For this time, 

It shall be conquered 

Once and for all.

Once and for good, 

Shall it be conquered.

                                  ***

My note indicates that I penned this at 11:58am on 24th December 2013. Hmm, it's been three years. And I was at work. I recall the circumstances that surrounded that scribble.

Everyone's got a demon they battle daily; personal demons, work demons, financial demons. For some, it may be anger, depression, lust, envy, pride, name it. God gives us the victory daily.

Peace...

SOTD "New Dawn Fades" by Joy Division 

MMC: Mental Armour

The alarm rings yet again and for the hundredth time, Ztembe slams it shut. Oh God, why did you have to create Monday, why? She grumbles as she flings the sheet off her and gingerly sets one foot before the other to begin her daily ritual.

Rushing out, she goes through her mental checklist, mental armour she calls them:

*pepper spray, defense against nosy colleagues, check.

*raincoat, to shake off nay sayers, check.

*face mask, to not smell the boss' bullshit, check.

*plastic smile, for Sembe and Sempei, check.

*sunshade, to wade off the evil eyes, check.

With everything checked and a self satisfied smile playing on her lips, she waltzes out, confident in the fact that she was covered. Bring it on Monday. 

                                  ¤¤¤

Hi lovers, 

I've actually missed Ztembe and her wahala, lol and I've missed writing this series. I'm sorry, I needed to take a look at the whole series again to remember why I started this in the first place, Monday and its beefers. Well I've got good news, Ztembe's back, ready to take y'all (and Monday) on and she's bringing the heat with her. Watch out!

Btw, I'm no longer a Monday moaner. Guess that's why I took a pause😁. Have a great week ahead and a lovely Monday. Oh and a happy end of month *doffshat*.

Peace out. 

Nameless

Let's talk about getting old. When last did you take a gooood look at your parents? Over the weekend, I did have a wake up call.

As young adults, we sometimes get so caught up in our lives that we forget our parents are getting older same way we are. In my mind's eye, I still see them with the eyes of a child, like they're strong and will always remain same way but that's only an illusion, they won't always remain same way and one day, they won't be around (fact).

Sometimes, I feel like the worst of daughters (who'd believe my story?) I mean, I'm good at forgetting about my parents as in, I only think about them in an unconscious kinda way and not in an intentional kinda way. Get my drift?

And something's always bothered me. Your happiness or your parents' happiness, which should be paramount? I know I won't get an answer, still I'm asking anyway. It gets so tiring trying to place others' happiness before yours (selfish much?) but it's true. I think I really need to work on that.

So I promised myself to try to do better. I'm not always the best of daughters, I mess up sometimes most times, haha (I'm laughing but I'm not. Really). 

Happy Dem's day BTW

Photo Credit: Sara's O world

SOTD (Song of the day) 'Towards the Sun'

Once Upon a Wish

Once upon a time

I wished upon a well 
I wished for a job
Where I’d be paid kabillions without lifting a finger 
I wished for love, pure and sweet without the heartache   
I wished for painless and ish free human relationships
I wished for a tall dark and handsome man to fawn over me
I wished for a state of the art home in a highbrow area
Without the inconveniences that comes with building a home
I wished to have the perfect family and life
I wished to be successful
But not too successful
I wished to have a joyful life void of challenges 
I wished to be grown up and be my own person
I wished to have the wisdom of the sage sans life's hard lessons 
I wished for a stress free life 
I wished be taken seriously
But not too serious 
I wished to “settle” 
Now I wish to be free

What else do I wish for?
I wish…
What do I want?

A chuckle floats up the well with a soft voice saying 
"Child, you do not know what you wish for 
When the fish fly and birds swim 
When the grave belches its satisfaction 
And the fire cackles in satiation 
Then shall you have your wishes
Till then, get yourself another wishing well."

Photo Credit: Omoniyi David

The Independent Life

Yay, happy independence day Nigeria (nah, it ain't too late). There's this small voice telling me that I'm being double faced, that I know what I'm doing. I chose to ignore that voice, my greeting still stands good citizens of Nigeria. We're how old again? Since the emancipation that is.

Answer that in your head, but shey you know we're getting old?

Well, it was a saturday over here and I did spend it at a wedding. Sending out hoozahs, howzit going? So, still on the independence matter, I'll be sharing a lil bit about the pains joys of growing up and growing old. Uhm, growing up and growing old? Ok, I'm correct. Today, I have a guest post (yaaaaay). This piece is as a result of a dare and surprisingly, it yielded result. *feeling like a proud teacher*. So here goes.

***

I woke up today and realised I was no longer the fresh, cute, handsome Uniport* guy I once was; it suddenly dawned on me that I no longer receive calls and messages (both the necessary and unnecessary ones) again...

I no longer receive the "send me your account number" messages again. Instead people send their account numbers to me...

I no longer have 1000+ number of friends again and at least 5 visits a day from some....

I no longer carry food stuffs from home like I used to when resuming new school sessions. Instead, I now go to the market by myself to buy rice, beans, Garri, palm oil, groundnut oil, crayfish, salt, provisions etc.

I no longer come home and just enter the kitchen and find something to eat; now, I come home and begin to think of what to eat or not....

I no longer get upkeep money instead I now pay for light bill, LAWMA* bill, security bill, compound dues....

I began to ask myself what happened?.. Answer: MATURITY!! Like me, many of you out there must have asked this same question at one point or the other.

Things are happening so fast and you are confused...You are hoping things will get better... My dear, you don dey old....Nothing will change if you just sit down and do nothing...Before you know it, grey hairs will start showing up and you haven't achieved anything.

You are 30 years and still confused like disco light (Chai)! You are 40 years and still not sure of what to do with yourself (who do you this thing)? Me, I'm 25 years and I haven't achieved one-quarter of all I planned to achieve by now...Mba nu, Irò.... Something has to be done... We can't continue like this.

I encourage everyone who understands what I'm saying; who are in this with me to take a stand and make that change...Take that step... Make that move....

Even God wants you to grow, expand and increase.... You have dwelt too long in one spot... Receive grace for speedy acceleration...

As for me, I'm reviewing and reevaluating my goals...
From a nominal Christian to a world changer.
From thousandnaire to millionaire.

***

So! You've heard read from my guest author. Time stands still for no man you know. It's time to buckle up and hit the ground running especially now one’s got the advantage of youth. I mean, if you do not chase your dreams in your youth, when will you start?
No one said growing up would be easy but it's so worth it. See what I mean here.

Thank you guest author, I must say, I've learnt something.

*University of Portharcourt
*Lagos Waste Management

Photo Credit: 123rf.com

The Myth of Happiness

When did being happy become an obsession?

From another's POV:

Happiness comes at a price.

Happiness is overrated.  

Happiness isn't meant for everyone.

It's impossible to always be happy.

Should I go on?

Well, I'll leave you to that.

For some, being happy does not come easy. They have to work at it and plan for it and try to pull it off in a flawless execution. Why because the happiness gurus say happiness is a way of life. You have to have a zing at all times and constantly walk on cloud nine at all times. You don't want to be seen amoody or acrying or asniffling for even a nano of a second. 

No, no, no, that won't do for the perfect little box they wanna place you in. Ridiculous if you ask me (but you aren't) and so you actively do and practice all that the gurus preach; happiness is in you; happiness is you; happiness is your neighbour; look inside of you; and if that doesn't succeed, you hear;

-Happiness is a purchase away;

-Get this new product and you'll be happy for life.

-Change your wardrobe and your whole life would change for the better.

-Upgrade your phone and you're on your way to been happy.

-Secure this contract and you're set for a happy life.

-Get this bigger house.

-Drive that bigger car.

Get more and more and more and do they succeed? A resounding no, rather, it takes you farther than you've ever gotten to in the doldrumming of life and lower than your lowest of lows because it took so much effort  to try to attain that zen. Or you did attain it but at a steep price or you didn’t because you just don’t know how to be happy.

It’s OK, no judgment here, but the desperate in heart would do anything.

Some have lost quite a lot in the pursuit of happiness. They were probably OK just trudging along living fine and dandy and then someone comes along and slaps a tag on some obscure word and before you know it, it has become some chic trendy go lucky slogan, tada!-be happy. 

Yeah, right.

If that's the kind of happy you're tryna sell to me; I shall be wanting no part of it.

Dear someone, rather than just come up with a gimmicky kinda word it’s better to allow your people to be their real selves, happy or not. I know of naturally moody people.

As an aside, can someone be so kind as to define happiness?

I know it’s strange, but try to understand that sometimes it's OK to be sad. It's OK to actually be down in the dumps. To whine and to groan and to snivel in the pity party you organised for yourself in your sad sorry state.

For a set of some, they don't bother as happiness has simply eluded them. Mayhaps, they did something in their past lives?

For yet another set of others, they've mastered the art of been happy come rain or sunshine. Don't you just envy them and won't you just like to know how they do it?

No? Ah, I see that hubris won't let you see, won't let you perceive, won't...oh well, those of you who have captured the quintessence of happiness and have perfected its art right down to a T, kudos to you. I'm highfiving myself on your behalf. Good for you. Now can you please come show the other others the kumbaya of your happy world?

Not that I envy you, nah, I don't envy Earthlings.

***

Uhm, while it was kinda funny writing this, in actuality, it isn't. There's a lot of sadness and bitterness out there and while it's quite understandable to say "don't worry, be happy" after all, a cheerful heart doeth good like medicine right? Lets also try to be realistic with our expectations. It's kinda sad to see what that beautiful word has been reduced to. It has been made out to be some happy go lucky charm (and I use that loosely). 

Oh well, what's my own? BTW, I dunno what literary style I adopted for this write up. It's all sort of weird to me. It is isn't it? Please do lemme know. I'm sorta experimenting with different writing styles. Lemme know what you think of this particular style and probably we'll come up with a name for it yeah? Would experimental project suffice? lol. I love to experiment and no, I'm no scientist. Go figure.  

Frank Friday: Ramblings, Mutterings and What Nots

Gosh, I feel so fagged out. I laughed long and loud in my head at that expression. The last time I used that was in my secondary school days. Oh those were the days. We had a variety of slangs at our disposal that our speech never lost its flavoured touch.

There was never a boring gist. Whose gist would be boring when one had such an arsenal of northern spiced slangs to choose from? Now I'm "irin feeling tech" lol (only my school mates will relate with this).

All of my life, I've stayed in the north and though I don't speak the language, I'm much more northerner than southerner (is that correct? My head's kinda fuddled right now).

It's been a tedious week and I'm undergoing a spell of laziness with this blog. No, I don't think it's laziness, I don't just have enough energy to expend on it right now I think. Will be back with a bounce I promise. Once I'm done figuring out my life that is. I'm always having to figure out my life I don't understand again o, shuo. Am I alone in this? Anyways, just promise you'll wait for me? *batseyelashes* tashakor.

Cheers...

Photo Credit: Nil

(Of course it'd be nil. Did you see any photo there?) Lol

Faces

There are faces 

And then there are faces

A bitch resting face

A neutral face

A mad face

An angry face

A sick face

A tired face

A world weary face

A bright face

A cunning face

And tons of other faces

I love them all equally 

Or unequally?

This face I wear

Ain't mine

I borrow faces

To emote feelings

Running wild in my head 

In my body 

In my mind

I wear many faces

Each day

A different face

Each situation

A different face

Each occasion

A different face

These faces I wear-

Long

Happy

Sad

Thoughtful

Disappointed ‎

Stressed

Strained

Wise

Open

Honest

Scowly

Scarred

Fearsome

Feisty

-I wear them with pride

Today it's a shiny face

Tomorrow it's a mask of a face

Some with a measure of hesitancy

I wear

Some faces are formidable

And threatening to other faces

I wear these faces only when needed

On extreme contrivances

Many faces have I

But I'm stuck with two

These two faces I find

Are all that I need

They carry the messages

I desire to spread

These faces of mine

Have served unreservedly

Faithfully

Loyally

Swerving neither left nor right

As straight as parallel lines

Remain they

Poker-faced

Unfazed

These are the faces I favour

This face I wear

Wears me out sometimes 

I teach it to laugh 

But it adamantly refuses 

So I borrow a laughing face

This isn't my face

My face is fair

And long

And fair

And pimply

And dimply

That's my face alright

But the face that looks out at me now

I fear

I do not recognise

This face of mine

It draws people to me

And chases others away from me

This face of mine

Mine yet not mine

This face I wear

Does it accurately portray me?

Am I my face?

Is my face I?

This face I wear

Simple yet complex

Underneath the lines 

The care worn lines

Of having lived

Underneath the crags and craters

That garnish the surface of my face

Lies yet more faces

The face of worry

The face of doubt 

The face of shame

The face of anxiety

Many faces have I 

But above all

I prefer my homely face

My homely face exudes peace

My homely face exudes love

Tolerance 

Acceptance

This face I wear

Which do you wear?

I wear the face of success 

And when I'm feeling exceptional gay

I wear the fey

The fey face never fails me

When times are bad

Then comes out the bold

The rock face's strong and hard

But then 

It's too heavy for comfort 

I can barely carry it around 

I pray they continue to serve

These faces of mine

Until the day

I put them finally to rest

And that I shall do with a smile

Knowing that I have used them all

And exhausted them of whatever life drop

They might have possessed

Photo Credit; Musings from Mt. Helicon

Turtle Soup

Gloria Gaynor's 'I will Survive' usually does the trick but not this time. No, not this time. My mantra of recent (I keep switching 'em) has been 'The just shall shall live by their faith'. It just keeps going round and round in my head not that I'm complaining, no. 

So, my actual reason for coming out of a semi vacay is 'cos of the  news my lil' birds have been bringing. With all I've heard so far this maxim neatly wraps up what I'm been told: 

when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

That said, I have good news. All that's going on with the economy, fuel subsidy, price hikes et al is for good. Eh? Someone's wondering if they read correctly, yes you did. Business moguls - or should I say experts? - say it is at times like this great opportunities present themselves (for my business oriented people, shine ya eyes). This is the time some of my friends will hammer (come into good fortune). Thou knoweth thyselves.

I was glad (with reason) when all these changes began I was forced to give up on certain unhealthy habits like my love for snacks and pick up healthy ones, long walks. Before I purchase a snack, boy, I reason it well. Ain't got that kinda cash to throw around no more. You feeling me? Hahaha. But really, desperate times call for desperate measures.

For me personally, it has been a great time for my experiments to thrive (I'm big on DIYs) and has opened up alternative means of getting things done (does multipurpose ring a bell)? For example, let's start with:

Food: I've found that so much I thought I couldn't do without, I can actually do without and have found new uses for food items that I once undermined.

Beauty regime: back to the basics biko. I never knew I had an Aloe Vera plant in my house (ok, I did know, but never paid it any mind) until I ran out of cleanser (ladies, I hope you're reading in between the lines).

Transportation: I hear carpooling's great but I wouldn't know 'cos my car's yet to arrive (on the high seas *wink*). So for those of us still hopping buses, it's not for every mileage you need to board a vehicle (truth be told), there's a reason some are called 'walking distance'. Work those muscles.

The US passed through a great depression once upon a time and history has it down as one of the dreariest of times - I shudder to think of what went down in that period - that I daresay has made them the formidable nation that they are today. What we're passing through now is beans compared to that. My advise for the time being, would be to buckle those belts, hold tight, sit tight and try not to fall off 'cos it's gonna be one helluva ride.

Meanwhile, I cannot logically explain why that title for this post 'Turtle Soup' but I have this feeling that I do know why.

So pretty please do share, what lifestyle changes have you had to make with all that's going on?

Photo Credit; PicsyMag