Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍

Me coming outta my hiatus

Still me wondering if anyone's here

Oh bloggy, bloggy, bloggy, I've missed you so.

Hi there guys, howdy? This has been a long time coming but only until yesterday, courtesy of a comment on a post concerning my Lagos travails joys which I'd shared on facebook, have I decided to run with it. This title/series is courtesy of that and God willing, I shall be reposting the said post here. It'll be our first journal entry 😁. Timely, if you ask me cos I've encountered one time too many, stuff I'd rather not. In this Lagos.

I'm sure it's no longer news what brought yours truly down west right? If it is, I'm sorry and owe you guys a major throw/flash back. Click here to get the gist of how the Northern belle traded the North for West, epic.

So encountering Lagos was a huge culture shock for me all in all. Gist for another day seeing as this is us officially launching the “Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍” series. Sit back, put your feet up and enjoy the journey. Seeing Lagos through the eyes of a newbie. 

Ekaabo. 

Peace

To Kill Father's Ghost ꘡꘡꘡: The Letter

To my beloved Raniya.

I hope your day is fine my love. I was just thinking of your smile. How beautiful and radiant it is. Truth is I always think about your smile. It amazes me and rewards me in great measures.  Like somebody actually listened to something I said or saw something I did and they smiled. Isn't that amazing? It makes me afraid too. See I haven’t been around many smiles before. I have this funny knack for turning them upside down. I can’t count how many frowns I  have made, but for heaven’s sake I truly and sincerely hope that God forgives me.

I am afraid that one day you will truly see me. Your eyes will open to my shortcomings, your ears will hear of my inequities and your nose will smell the stench of my numerous failures and your beautiful smile will fade away.

My dear, I have become very dependent on your smile. It is the only time I feel whole again. A stream  of fresh water coursing through a perched riverbed. I am a broken soul, my Raniya. Oh my God, I am so broken, I don’t even realize when I’m breaking up those close to me. It’s my nature and I fear for us. Like the hulk, I’ll turn into a green monster and your smile will fade away together with your love. I am I afraid  it will be too late. Like everyone else, you will leave.

That is what I am most afraid of. I have to confess to you my love, it terrifies me everyday. I could never recover from that. I don’t have anymore energy left. I desperately want to believe that this is it. That we have finally made it, and I can at last let go and just be happy to be alive. Indeed once or twice I have let go, and it was beautiful. The most beautiful thing ever, I saw God here on earth. I felt life all around me, I became one with the universe. It was that evening we were strolling by the river, the soles of our feet licked by its playful edge. That was when I felt it. My entire body and soul; one with the universe. A leaf gracefully fell from a pine and as I watched it meander midair, across your smile down onto the meadow, I knew that a part of me had shifted from the cool breeze high up on to the firm stability of the ground. It was beautiful. A moment that lasted forever and I knew that was the kind of freedom and happiness I yearned for.

Raniya, I have a question for you though. How can I take all this goodness? Cursed be the day I thought it was even possible for my wretched soul to be happy. What would I do with happiness? I would spend all my days and nights worrying about losing it.  Oh my wretched soul, it will never know peace. I’d probably lose all of it, and I wouldn’t know how. I can’t bear that, I can’t bear that my Raniya. So, it’s better if I didn’t have my desire now, so that I don’t have to worry about losing it. When that evil day comes it will pass me in my misery just like my deathday and I won’t notice. I will have finally dealt fate a blow. I will win.

For what it is worth, I hope you keep it in your heart that you will always be my moon, my light in the dark. You will always be my star, my forever beauty. Even as we part ways.

Yours faithfully,

Prince Oyalla.

See dad, I am not afraid of my ugly. I own up to it even if it scalds my ego. Some day I’ll grow into a real man, I’ll probably be able to hold down a relationship but for now I am just a man trying to get over his pain.

***Editor's note***

Thank you Brian for this beautifully written piece. Domestic violence and abuse, sadly has become the norm. Families torn apart with the children mostly being the worst hit by such development. Violence isn't the answer (I'd have ended the sentence with "get help", but getting help isn't always easy now is it?)

To worsen matters, the problem almost always becomes cyclical as children emulate what they see the parents do and imbibe it as the norm. Wife/Husband battery therefore becomes the norm for these ones. May the good Lord help us all. Amen.

Peace.

To Kill Father's Ghost ꘡꘡: The Knowing

I knew all of it dear father. About all the other women, the anserine investments, the alcohol problem. I knew why you fled from the city, where real men stride the streets. Toiling everyday for dreams bigger than them, constantly changing themselves just to grow into the men who can slay lofty ambitions. Where men take risks and eat from the sweat of their brow. From he that pushes a cart ignoring the sun’s raging fury, to she who ignores the uncertainty of the future and sets up a multimillion Pesa company. But you my father, couldn’t ignore anything. It was too tough for you. You noticed everything,  and it all scared you.

You couldn’t stand the heat of the city, you couldn’t compete against men faster, wiser, stronger than you and so you ran back to grandma. You ran back to the village, to your mother’s feet. She gladly welcomed you back and that is when I finally figured it all out. I figured it out when you left your wife to fight it out alone. You didn’t care about the oath you swore to God, nor your children’s futures, nor your honour. You just wanted away from all the stress, you needed to catch a break, to just go away and figure yourself out. The very things you sneered at in me. That is how I knew.

You were a spoilt man - kid. Mothered out of your senses and entitled to your detriment. Everything was easy for you, until it wasn’t anymore. You lashed out. You battered your wife in my presence. I saw you many times, but you only saw me once. Then you started with me too. I blamed you, but now that I am almost your age, I see why.

You were trying to hide it. Trying to hide the fact that you were never man enough, projecting your fears on me, trying to make me a man. But you went about it all wrong dad, you only made me hate you, drift away, stop caring. You did not have to be so mean, so violent, so abusive. You only made me just as mean, violent and abusive instead. But I won’t waste words up here blaming you for it, I am trying to 

find myself, to be a good man God knows, I try every single day. I try so hard sometimes I feel like I can’t take the pain anymore, but then I get up and I try again. I have to prove you wrong even in your death. I will be a real man some day, even if it is on my last day.

For now, I am just like you. A chip off the old block. I am afraid that I am indeed not a real man. I am not settled yet. Afraid of staying in one place for too long lest people figure out the real me. The broken me. I’d rather they stick with the charming, confident always joking me. Only I can know that it is a façade.

I’m afraid of relationships and commitments. Those bloody things, cursed be the man who thought it would be a nice idea. Unlike you, I’m still not married yet at this age, you beat me on that one. I see your sick smirk old man. Even in the spirit world, you still have it in for me. You see, I thought I would finally do it this year but I fell too deep in love. That is why I have to handle something papa. It’s funny how I still seek your approval to this day but I hope this is manly enough. I am going to confess to her, I’m going to say everything. Look at what I wrote her. It’s the most honest I’ve ever been in my life, and even though I feel sad, there is a silver lining of joy knowing that I am better than you, at least on this aspect. I can be honest to myself. 

(To Be Contd.)

To Kill Father's Ghost ꘡

Dear diary,

On the day he died, my father was angry at me. He had been mad at me for as long as I could remember, but that morning, it was different. A different kind of anger. Like lava stirring at the lip of a volcano, deceptive, slow, but burning wildly.

He did not curse or make a derogatory comment nor grant in disapproval. He hadn’t beaten me up in a while, he couldn’t. He just sat, like always, in his foyer chair completely still, silent as a corpse. I carried him there from the bed. As I placed him down, I noticed his lower lip quivering, dangling like a bell, chipped.

Four weeks earlier he had stubbornly refused to stay in hospital any longer. He could still get his way then. Now as I stood back and considered him, I thought that his disease had finally worn him down to a point of silence. To this day I regret the morbid satisfaction I got out of that thought. I truly and honestly do regret it. It is the one and only thing I regret about his death. A son should not get any thrills seeing his own father give up on anything. Not covertly and most definitely not overtly, it is more sinful.

I was wrong though, he had not given up. In fact he did not care about the illness that had slowly chipped away at his body like a river over a rock. His mind was on something else, someone else. Me. He was mad at me. So deeply, so passionately that he just eyeballed me in angry silence. Big yellow disease-laden eyeballs just gawking at me, the last of their lives draining out by the minute but still seeing no good in me. In retrospect, I think he looked scary. Raised cheeks, the battle scars of a virus that doesn’t know when to quit. Eyeballs at the end of their tethers, sockets wide. His skin was patchy, scratched to oblivion. Cracked lips that sagged so much his lower incisors were always visible. It was a sad sight, something had taken my father’s countenance and replaced it with a stranger’s.

Sad it was, but I was not sorry. He knew I wasn’t and that’s what made him mad. The nerve father! How dare you demand that I be sorry? Why didn’t you take it like the real man you always wanted me to be? Is that why you hated me? Is that why? Won’t your spirit tell me? I know why father, I know why you despised me so much. It is because you knew it. You knew that you were not a real man either, and you detested the fact that I had figured it out.

(To Be Contd.)

Frank Friday: Sometimes...

I sometimes forget.
I forget who I am
I forget my confessions
I forget my faith
I forget that I'm different
I forget who I am

I forget too much I think

To forget is good

But not all forgetfulness is good

I forget that I need to love myself

Bad

I forget that I matter

Bad

I forget that I have a right to what I feel

Bad

I forget to put myself first
Sometimes good, sometimes bad
Life once used to be black or white
I forget how that was
Sometimes good, sometimes bad
Now, I'm somewhere in between

Little bursts of Clarity

Happy new year lovelies. Circumstances have brought me here much earlier than anticipated. I was gonna be here Val's day armed with the greatest love story ever told or heard. You know what that greatest love story is? It's a beautiful story, I never get tired of reading about it *hint hint*  Some do I'm sure. So, back to why I'm here.

While groping in the midst of my grief this fine morning and pondering on a message I'd sent someone, my eyes alighted on something. A message. Any other day, I prolly wouldn't read much into it but let's just say that message was perfect for the time and state I found myself in. It read: "let there be heart's peace when each day is done", like wow. That says a lot in so little words. The message packed a punch. I'm not going to break it down, I believe it's really self explanatory.

God really is present. He's everywhere. I saw Him in the smile of a child that came with her mum for a condolence visit. She was such a giggly baby. I also saw Him in the hugs shared and received. I saw Him in the prayers and messages of friends and associates. I saw Him in the selflessness and generosity of some persons. I saw Him in a moment of sunshine when my mind began to get clouded and it was a symbolic moment. I saw Him in the messages He brought me at the right time. The right word, the right music, the right devotional. 

And I saw Him again, today in that message.

This period has been a learning curve for me. I'm always learning sha so it wasn't so difficult. I'm learning that I've got patience after all. I'm also glad that what I'm learning, I'd already learnt theoretically and I'm only now learning its practicals. God is so good. I can't adequately describe how real He was to me this period. He was so real, I could practically feel him walking with me and giving me his hand like a gentleman would to a lady when He felt my strength flagging. He was right there whispering words of comfort and cautioning me when the ballistic moments came knocking, lol. Wow. I'm still not done grieving and may never will, (this was expressed so elegantly in a poem a friend shared with me, I hope to share it with you guys someday) but I do not grieve as those without hope. The light of God's word shines its brightest when it's darkest. This is my testimony. Allez up (lol, dunno what that is or if it means anything sef, it just sounds like a good sign off). 

Peace... 

Princess Warrior

So many fights

So many battles 

The greatest I fear

Is the battle of self

I have an ongoing battle 

One I thought

I won a long time ago

A pyrrhic victory at best

But a victory nonetheless

Alas I fear, 

An old enemy's risen.

From the shadows

It had been banished to,

It arises

But fear not, 

For this time, 

It shall be conquered 

Once and for all.

Once and for good, 

Shall it be conquered.

                                  ***

My note indicates that I penned this at 11:58am on 24th December 2013. Hmm, it's been three years. And I was at work. I recall the circumstances that surrounded that scribble.

Everyone's got a demon they battle daily; personal demons, work demons, financial demons. For some, it may be anger, depression, lust, envy, pride, name it. God gives us the victory daily.

Peace...

SOTD "New Dawn Fades" by Joy Division 

Christmas, here I come

"Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree you stand in verdant beauty." Fret not, I know it ain't Christmas yet, just testing my vocal chords to see if they still work fine (after screaming myself hoarse last night). Christmas' nearly upon us and I'm thinking, where did the year go? 2017 was fast. Too fast. Yesterday I was screaming happy new year and now...wow. I remember my days of listening to carols and religiously memorising them like my life depended on it, 😂 I and my sissy. Life was beautiful then. Not that it ain't now, but childhood innocence counts for something.

So, the year's rounding off once again to another close - glory to God. Is it too early to say merry Christmas? 😁 Merry Christmas. Please, just take it like that. 

😘 

Peace

Moments

It's not everyday one gets to meet good people and that's why saying goodbye to this set of people's heart breaking. One of my personal persons had to resign recently  and I miss her already. But that's life yeah? Coming and going. Today we meet people and tomorrow we say goodbye, sad.

Well, here's to baby girl, I wish you the best in all of your future endeavours. She was a sweet girl.

Faceless Tales

"This face I wear's not mine. It was given me by life. When I was born, my parents said I had the fairest of faces. But looking at me now, you wouldn't be able to tell." 

"This face I wear's being mine for as long as I can remember. So why then do I feel like a stranger in it? I put it on, I play in it, I laugh in it, I cry in it. It's become a familiar stranger. But then I go home and once there, I take it off. No one need know that I'm faceless." 

"This face I wear's not mine but borrowed. I took it from my last kill and no one's the wiser for it. I had asked him to choose. He made his choice. And so I killed him and took his face. The kids need not know that this isn't their dad. That their dad lies six feet under because I wear his face. And I wear it even better."

Different women, similar stories...

Tales.

The Least Lister

My to do list/bucket list/wish list/whatever list is quite simple; go to Venice, ride in a gondola and have the gondolier sing to me songs of love, heartbreak and tragedy.

I've also got lists for the most absurd of things;

Book list

Poem list

Friends list

Black list

Burn list

Gift list

The least however is,

My to do list

I rarely get to tick things off it cos I hardly stick to it. 

SOTD: Unsteady by X Ambassadors.

On being a wall flower

I'd start by saying, as a wall flower your default answer should be no. At all times (I'll expatiate on that in another post). Today's for the wall flowers in the hizzouse (a show of hands please✌)😂

So here goes:

1. At all times, turn down offers to attend social functions. Yep, end of post. That's what being a wall flowers's all about, saying no. Lol, ok not the end.
2. If perchance you were tricked or coerced or for whatever reason you decide to go, arrive early, you don't want anyone to see you arriving do you? If you find yourself running late, try to slip in quietly and unobtrusively. Let it be that you just did appear out of thin air. 
3. Dress to blend
4. Find your spot; a vantage point where you can see all and not be seen
5. Befriend the couch and do not for any reason disengage from it.
6. Note all exit points in case of emergencies like needing a breath of fresh air or escaping loudmouths or/and for quick and easy getaway. You'll thank me later 😉

So that's that, got any more to add? But why would you want to be a wall flower anyways? Being a wall flower's not for the faint of heart just so you know😋

Disclaimer: This is a tongue in cheek post by the way.

*

*

*

Nah, I lied but personally, I enjoy being a wall flower. Infact,  it's one of my hobbies. I own it. Cheers, gotta run.... 

Peace. 

I love that photo, it's from my phone's wallpaper collection. 

Jolly July

Hi darlings,

Issa new month, happy July guys. How was the weekend? Rainy right?  Yeah, same here and then Lekki was flooded, whew.

Saw pictures online since I've refused to own a TV set. Please don't ask why, cos I assure you that my answer wouldn't make a lick of sense.

There's a lot I wanna say but don't even know where to start. So, that's that. Once again, happy lollified July.

Peace.

Did I mention I spent the entire weekend indoors? Well I'd have felt it if not that I was kept busy with the wig I was working on. Handwork's good I tell you. Sometimes.

Will also be sharing some of my write ups next month. Yesss, I'd participated in a competition on IG (my first😁) and it was fun I tell you. And challenging too. It's not beans writing daily, ya'll can testify to it here, hehe. So, the goal's to share one for everyday. Should've started this month but well, as you can see, we're way into the month. So August by God's grace, will be sharing a write-up everyday God willing.

Since June was 30 days and August 31, will be throwing in a last day bonus😉

Bye people, I leave you with "Holy Grail", it was my sound accompaniment all through my lazy busy weekend😘

April Fools' Day: Origins

How often have we asked how did so and so come about? I know for some (the analytical ones especially) it's often. Most times we participate in events and don't ask why we do what we do. For instance, April 1st is one day that's set aside to destroy prank folks and pull practical jokes.

So today, before I go afooling, the question pops into my head, why is April 1st tagged April fools day? I mean, is it that all the fools convene on this day? Is it like their own special holiday or a day set aside to mark their exploits? Who are these fools BTW? I once came upon a joke about an atheist coming to the court of law to contest not having their own day since most religions of the world have theirs; Christmas, Sallah, Hannukah to mentíon but a few, and the judge responded that they already had their own day, April 1st because only a fool would say there's no God*. 

Anyway, my questions led me to my brainiac friend and companion, Google and it turns out that they also do not exactly know, lol. I mean, there are so many theories pertaining to this day. 

So according to Wiki, April 1st is sometimes called 'All Fools' Day' and was first brought into the limelight by a book written by Geoffrey Chaucer, 'The Canterbury Tales'. If you haven't read 'The Canterbury Tales', then please go do so and tell me all about it. Honestly, I found that book difficult to read. Still struggling with it.

So back to April 1st, there are different narratives as to its origin and that's saying a lot. There's no stand out reason as to how the day came about, nor how its name was derived and it's celebrated differently in different climes. For instance in the UK, pranks stop at 12 noon and anyone who attempts to pull a practical joke after then is the April fool.

In Poland, this is a day for creating elaborate hoax stories. Even the media chimes in. It's said that an alliance that was signed on the 1st of April by the Government had to be back dated in order to be taken seriously. Hmm, it's that serious over there.

Even though one can't exactly pinpoint its origins, advocates of this day believe it is good for the health as it 'encourages "jokes, hoaxes...pranks, [and] belly laughs", and brings all the benefits of laughter including stress relief and reducing strain on the heart.'

Crítics on the other hand believe it is '"creepy and manipulative", "rude", and "a little bit nasty", as well as based on schadenfreude* and deceit.'

For more, read here and here.

So that's that. I'm on the prowl for who to prank😈😈, lemme go plot.

Byeee 😘

*Psalm 14:1- The fool says in his heart, "There is no God."

*Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others

Photo Credits: Elephant Journal, Wonderopolis.

Once Upon a Wish

Once upon a time

I wished upon a well 
I wished for a job
Where I’d be paid kabillions without lifting a finger 
I wished for love, pure and sweet without the heartache   
I wished for painless and ish free human relationships
I wished for a tall dark and handsome man to fawn over me
I wished for a state of the art home in a highbrow area
Without the inconveniences that comes with building a home
I wished to have the perfect family and life
I wished to be successful
But not too successful
I wished to have a joyful life void of challenges 
I wished to be grown up and be my own person
I wished to have the wisdom of the sage sans life's hard lessons 
I wished for a stress free life 
I wished be taken seriously
But not too serious 
I wished to “settle” 
Now I wish to be free

What else do I wish for?
I wish…
What do I want?

A chuckle floats up the well with a soft voice saying 
"Child, you do not know what you wish for 
When the fish fly and birds swim 
When the grave belches its satisfaction 
And the fire cackles in satiation 
Then shall you have your wishes
Till then, get yourself another wishing well."

Photo Credit: Omoniyi David

The Independent Life

Yay, happy independence day Nigeria (nah, it ain't too late). There's this small voice telling me that I'm being double faced, that I know what I'm doing. I chose to ignore that voice, my greeting still stands good citizens of Nigeria. We're how old again? Since the emancipation that is.

Answer that in your head, but shey you know we're getting old?

Well, it was a saturday over here and I did spend it at a wedding. Sending out hoozahs, howzit going? So, still on the independence matter, I'll be sharing a lil bit about the pains joys of growing up and growing old. Uhm, growing up and growing old? Ok, I'm correct. Today, I have a guest post (yaaaaay). This piece is as a result of a dare and surprisingly, it yielded result. *feeling like a proud teacher*. So here goes.

***

I woke up today and realised I was no longer the fresh, cute, handsome Uniport* guy I once was; it suddenly dawned on me that I no longer receive calls and messages (both the necessary and unnecessary ones) again...

I no longer receive the "send me your account number" messages again. Instead people send their account numbers to me...

I no longer have 1000+ number of friends again and at least 5 visits a day from some....

I no longer carry food stuffs from home like I used to when resuming new school sessions. Instead, I now go to the market by myself to buy rice, beans, Garri, palm oil, groundnut oil, crayfish, salt, provisions etc.

I no longer come home and just enter the kitchen and find something to eat; now, I come home and begin to think of what to eat or not....

I no longer get upkeep money instead I now pay for light bill, LAWMA* bill, security bill, compound dues....

I began to ask myself what happened?.. Answer: MATURITY!! Like me, many of you out there must have asked this same question at one point or the other.

Things are happening so fast and you are confused...You are hoping things will get better... My dear, you don dey old....Nothing will change if you just sit down and do nothing...Before you know it, grey hairs will start showing up and you haven't achieved anything.

You are 30 years and still confused like disco light (Chai)! You are 40 years and still not sure of what to do with yourself (who do you this thing)? Me, I'm 25 years and I haven't achieved one-quarter of all I planned to achieve by now...Mba nu, Irò.... Something has to be done... We can't continue like this.

I encourage everyone who understands what I'm saying; who are in this with me to take a stand and make that change...Take that step... Make that move....

Even God wants you to grow, expand and increase.... You have dwelt too long in one spot... Receive grace for speedy acceleration...

As for me, I'm reviewing and reevaluating my goals...
From a nominal Christian to a world changer.
From thousandnaire to millionaire.

***

So! You've heard read from my guest author. Time stands still for no man you know. It's time to buckle up and hit the ground running especially now one’s got the advantage of youth. I mean, if you do not chase your dreams in your youth, when will you start?
No one said growing up would be easy but it's so worth it. See what I mean here.

Thank you guest author, I must say, I've learnt something.

*University of Portharcourt
*Lagos Waste Management

Photo Credit: 123rf.com

Frank Friday: Update

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the feedback. Tashakor. I didn't know I was making sense but why oh why would you not drop them here? Feedback that is. I don't get it. Isn't it much easier? Okay, I'm done ranting. I appreciate that ya'll take the time to actually visit, I'm humbled.

So, certain someones have prompted my doing an update on this post. I've needed to clarify a few things. Not everyone can do what I did (I'm not even asking anyone to do anything) cos we're not all in the same circumstance(s) neither are we cut from the same cloth. I've had some people say I made it sound so easy. Seriously? Did you read that post at all? There was nothing easy about that decision. Heck, I was terribly terrified (see? Terribly terrified). It was no mean feat I pulled back then, uhuh. Especially in this clime of ours where we've been fed the half bread's better than none and a Bird in hand's worth...yada, yada, yada advice one time too many.

Manage, the common man's anthem (that's actually a post on its own). So, no it wasn't easy but was it worth it? In Les Brown's voice, it was worth it alright?

So, here goes nothing. Yup, nothing 'cos I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm literally flying by the seat of my pants (go figure).

For anyone that wants to try this (again, I don't even advise you to, double standard much?) be absolutely, unconfoundedly sure 'cos my dear, you ain't going to enjoy the experience unless you're a sloth. I hear they don't do much. I was at the end of my tether so to speak, when I made that decision.

Secondly, make sure you have a plan B in case things don't go quite so well. If possible have a plan in all the alphabets, you don't want to be stranded like this little man:

Thirdly, don't let anyone guilt trip you into thinking you made a mistake (unless you did indeed make a mistake). It's not their happiness or health or advancement or career growth or whatever it is that's making you leave, at stake. I think I should insert here that you should clearly evaluate your reason(s) for leaving. Is it something that can actually be corrected, modified, addressed? You get my drift. We don't want you running off and then two weeks down you suffer from the had-i-known syndrome, nope, that wouldn't do. So assess, assess, assess your reason(s) & option(s).

Also, it's advisable to have some pocket money tucked away somewhere. It should be enough to see you through the wait. You'd have to cut down on your budget, a lot of things would have to go and you & the ones around you would or might feel the pinch. Depends on the wait.

For me, the first thing to go was impulse buying. I'm big at that. If it wasn't absolutely necessary, no deal. I'm learning the hard way. Yes, learning 'cos it's still WIP (Work In Progress).

Basically, that's it. Be sure it's not the evil forces in your villa that are pushing your buttons before you leap. Have your options staked out from A-Z if need be. Avoid those guilt trippers biko 'cos that's exactly what they are. They send you off on guilt trips all by yourself and they almost all don't turn out well. Make sure to have a lil' something (cash) that'll hold till the tide washes over (no brainer there).

So, did I miss anything?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime.

P.S: If you don't look anything like the smiling guy in the first image, then, you're probably making a mistake. Think it through.

Turtle Soup

Gloria Gaynor's 'I will Survive' usually does the trick but not this time. No, not this time. My mantra of recent (I keep switching 'em) has been 'The just shall shall live by their faith'. It just keeps going round and round in my head not that I'm complaining, no. 

So, my actual reason for coming out of a semi vacay is 'cos of the  news my lil' birds have been bringing. With all I've heard so far this maxim neatly wraps up what I'm been told: 

when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

That said, I have good news. All that's going on with the economy, fuel subsidy, price hikes et al is for good. Eh? Someone's wondering if they read correctly, yes you did. Business moguls - or should I say experts? - say it is at times like this great opportunities present themselves (for my business oriented people, shine ya eyes). This is the time some of my friends will hammer (come into good fortune). Thou knoweth thyselves.

I was glad (with reason) when all these changes began I was forced to give up on certain unhealthy habits like my love for snacks and pick up healthy ones, long walks. Before I purchase a snack, boy, I reason it well. Ain't got that kinda cash to throw around no more. You feeling me? Hahaha. But really, desperate times call for desperate measures.

For me personally, it has been a great time for my experiments to thrive (I'm big on DIYs) and has opened up alternative means of getting things done (does multipurpose ring a bell)? For example, let's start with:

Food: I've found that so much I thought I couldn't do without, I can actually do without and have found new uses for food items that I once undermined.

Beauty regime: back to the basics biko. I never knew I had an Aloe Vera plant in my house (ok, I did know, but never paid it any mind) until I ran out of cleanser (ladies, I hope you're reading in between the lines).

Transportation: I hear carpooling's great but I wouldn't know 'cos my car's yet to arrive (on the high seas *wink*). So for those of us still hopping buses, it's not for every mileage you need to board a vehicle (truth be told), there's a reason some are called 'walking distance'. Work those muscles.

The US passed through a great depression once upon a time and history has it down as one of the dreariest of times - I shudder to think of what went down in that period - that I daresay has made them the formidable nation that they are today. What we're passing through now is beans compared to that. My advise for the time being, would be to buckle those belts, hold tight, sit tight and try not to fall off 'cos it's gonna be one helluva ride.

Meanwhile, I cannot logically explain why that title for this post 'Turtle Soup' but I have this feeling that I do know why.

So pretty please do share, what lifestyle changes have you had to make with all that's going on?

Photo Credit; PicsyMag

Frank Friday: Cheap Thrills

TGIF? Ok, this is meant to be like a tongue-in-cheek responsorial piece to Sia (I must say, I like Sia. A lot) but I'm honestly not trying to be funny. Do well to look out for those small bursts of seriousness, it wouldn't hurt to pick out some home truths to run with.

So, Sia wrote a song 'Cheap Thrills' and like the human being that I am, rather than listen to songs that intrigue me, I first scope out the lyrics. If it's A-okay, I zoom off with it. But if it's Z-not-ok, OYO (on your own).

While Sia's message is about not having to clear one's bank account in order to have fun, I can't help but dwell on that word 'Cheap Thrills' cos most times that's what we engage in compared to life's bigger picture.

Our society thrives on instant gratification. See it? Covet. Like it? Buy. Want it? Possess. Why wait when you can have it now?? We've taken to satisfying our wants by all means without entertaining thoughts of how it may shape our future. YOLO right? So why not take the chance? Let the future take care of itself.
Swallowing quantity/hype over quality which satisfies for a while and then leaves you aching and longing for more. These cheap thrills are everywhere and come in different wraps and packaging, glittery and alluring.

Cheap thrills = present wise, future foolish or as a friend puts it; play now, pay later.

Can't remember where I was going with this post, but here's my answer to the ones who constantly badger me to go have fun, especially when your idea of fun is 'questionable', I don't do cheap thrills, ha ha. Enjoy the weekend folks.

No offence Sia, we still good.
Trivia: Why do I like Sia?

Photo Credit: 7×7

Mayday

Wanted starting this post with happy workers' day but my heart won't let me, what's there to be happy about? 

That some workers are still been owed huge sums in arrears? That some barely scrape by with their monthly stipend called salary? That many are overworked yet underpaid? Tell me, what exactly is there to be celebrated? Let me not even bring in the matter of minimum wage, this place will just scatter. 

The average Nigerian worker is frustrated (but you're not, say amen), hungry, angry, bitter and jobless. Yes jobless, I dunno about you but from where I'm looking in, the average Nigerian worker's always job hunting. Now, I wonder why that sounds so familiar. 

Unsurprisingly, no one's wished me a happy workers' day (well, except my bank. Banks!!! *shudders*). Yo! Workers in the house, what's happening? Easy with the vexing. I wonder if there's going to be some sort of parade like they have in certain parts of the country, but I highly doubt that. Not with the vibes I'm getting. Well, my little birds tell me that there shall be a placard carrying protest in lieu of a celebration, how grand is that?

Everyone's angry; angry with the economy, angry with baba, angry with God? I hope not. I understand sha. You're working with nothing to show for it. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't madness to expect a productive workforce when an enabling environment has not been created for that to take place. I don't know how workers can be productive when they're barely satisfied. 

They're disgruntled and hungry and angry (anger lies in the bosom of a hungry man, yup quote me. I know what I'm saying) and you're expecting their very best? Oga o.

Somethings I don't like to think about how much more, talk about 'cos my spirit dips and I don't like that. So, one good day I made a decision that it wasn't everything I wanted seeing/reading/hearing about, there's a lot of ill news making the rounds and I don't want a part of it. In came selective exposure and it's been there ever since. I can't shout. 

Talking about hunger, I'm a big foodie and I know how nasty I get when I'm hungry, I turn into something else. So workers, I feel us jare, things aren't looking so pinkish right now but there's always a silver lining somewhere, let's look for it shall we?

I think I found one, you get to stay home and rest today, lol. But some persons ain't resting though, like the media practitioners, this is even when they've got extraneous scoops to pursue like covering our your protest march for instance.

So, uhm, a tentative happy workers' day? *duckshead* ejo o, easy. Una no sabi joke again? But on a more serious note, things will surely get better. Have faith, hold on to hope and fret not thyselves.

Photo Credit: Nigerian Eye.