An Ill Fated Party

Come, dear daughter, let me tell you a story.

One day a party was thrown, and the nations of the world were invited. The world came, ate, drank and generally had a good time. But when it was all over, she came back ill. It's said that she'd contracted a deadly virus, one that went by the nickname Covid -19.

To combat this, the world shut down. Schools, businesses, religious centres, corporate bodies, and borders; closed. All forms of social gatherings were prohibited. In their place, social distancing and maintaining good hygiene were initiated as preventive measures against the spread of this illness: a shut down like never before seen by anyone who lived at that time.

People worked from home, shopped from home, worshipped at home and generally conducted their businesses from home. The market places, roads and busy squares turned ghost towns. The streets, overrun by wild animals, death its sole pedestrian. Economies took a hit and world power changed hands.

The world as we knew it had changed. Everywhere one looked, something was different.

The virus brought with it its fair share of grief and took its toll on everyone and everything. Governments and healthcare systems were overwhelmed in the struggle to keep up with the ailing. Citizens were overwhelmed with fear and anxieties, struggling to make sense of their collective reality.

Fear, not because it was the first time the world had faced a pandemic but because of the many unknowns that accompanied the virus. Anxiety because no one knew what or who the next victim would be.

And so, we sat, behind closed doors, hoping for a miracle, not knowing when it would all be over. Hope for a solution was scarce.

It did not take us by surprise, now that I think about it. Many of us just didn't consider it serious enough to take preventive measures early, until we found ourselves in a siege, dealing with a scourge some say had long been foretold.

One day a party was thrown and the nations of the world were invited. The world ate, drank, partied and forgot to wash its hands. And we paid a dear price for it.

But soon afterwards, even in those trying times, Mother Earth took deep laboured breaths, as she struggled to renew herself.

Photo Credit: Vectorstock.com

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: Travails of a Lagos Driver

Yoohoo, Lagos wife here.

 

Welcome to Lagos😊

Dear diary,

It's been four months, three weeks and two days since this post was promised, and finally, it materialises. I've been quite hesitant about writing on this particular topic because I don't want to be in danger of generalising. I'd rather err on the side of caution but having the same experience again and again, I'm convinced it's a way of life and so, I write.

The average Lagos driver is selfish. Selfish and uncouth (think danfo bus drivers). It doesn't help that they have the support of their passengers. Most Lagosians will support wrong behavior. Why, because it serves their selfish interest. Yes, you'll be late to whatever appointment it is that you have and you're trying to beat traffic, but bro, do it the right way na, and not by creating an extra lane that'll lead to even more chaos. 

Oh, my lane's completely blocked with traffic, ok, lemme face incoming vehicles in the next lane even though it's wrong and push the rightful users off. And then, everywhere turns into a madhouse, with one neither moving forward nor back.  🤦🏻It's not you people I sha blame, it's the shortcut culture that has pervaded everywhere which paints doing the right thing as being dull and slow, that I blame.

“Guy no de dull yourself” is the common slang. 

Le hubs says driving in  Lagos is a test of faith. Oh boy, is he right. Infact, so is walking. As a pedestrian, walking on your supposedly safe pedestrian lane, you ain't safe. I'm sorry.

Anyways, with all that goes on in the city, the average Lagosian will still claim to love the lifestyle. Seriously? A favourite pastime of theirs is to discuss their travails in the city albeit, in a self satisfied accomplished way. Like, wow, after all of the stress and wahala, look at us, we're still here, still hustling (that term could mean a whole lotta things, please don't ask me. It seems to be the official  lingua franca around here, to hustle). You know, we're suffering but still smiling. Sigh, what a mentality. 

I sometimes think I'm becoming a Lagosian sef. Emphasis on “I think” o cos I don't see that happening at all. For instance, after whining about how driving in Lagos makes one so tired and grossed out (which it does), I'll go on to give a self satisfying statement about how accomplished I am to have survived the mad jungle out there. Then I'll wrap it up by saying, “I mean, if I can drive in this Lagos, I can drive anywhere else”. Right? 😁 That statement ain't true, we know that right? That you term an act/behaviour as "excelling" or “smartness” here might not mean same thing in another clime. I daresay it won't. What works here wouldn't in a saner clime abeg. 

So, with driving being what it is in Lagos,  it's made its grand entry into my list of (what I term) extreme sports activities. Not for the faint of heart. Many times, I'm almost dissuaded from taking to the wheels when I think of the trials ahead; the treacherous nature of the roads and the dare devilry of its users.

The other day, I commented to hubby about how HBP prone patients should not be driving in Lagos but to hire drivers or something, because driving on these roads would give them an attack. Which brings to mind a facebook post I once made about making liberal use of my car horn when I finally start to drive but guess what? The danfo drivers🚌and other road users beat me to it. It would seem we were all thinking same thing. 

But I'll hold my peace because I'm yet to have the soul shaking kind of horn that I desire. You know, the type you hear, and your soul takes flight? Yes, that type. They should just wait first. I'll out horn these danfo drivers and others who think they know how to play music with theirs. I'll show them how it's done. Welcome to the fray.

Bye diary,
Cheers. 

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: The Job Hunter 🔫 🏹

Dear diary,

Boy, do I have a lot to say, especially as it relates to these elections. But let's start with the most pressing of them all (as it relates to me of course), job hunt!!!

I've gradually come to the realisation that job hunting in Lagos, is an etirely different ball game. I'm afraid, I won't be going into specifics but believe me, it is. 

I remember while back in Abuja, sitting in my cozy office, chatting with a Lagosian friend about the scarcity of jobs in Lagos and I'm wondering how that could be when job vacancy ads were swimming with them? Let's just say, I understand better now. Then, I simply couldn't. 

When I look back, I laugh because I now understand what his response, “you won't understand” meant. I so understand that nine times out of  ten job ads one may come across are fraudulent. Yes, Lagos is indeed a prowling jungle cat which reminds me of a poem I once wrote about it👇🏼

I also now understand to an extent how hunters feel when they go to the bush and come back empty handed (infact, I'm now understanding a number of things, no thanks to Lagos). It's not a nice feeling. It's a demoralising one. But do they quit and decide to pack up their tools and fold their arms? No. The very next day or week or month or whenever, they cock their guns and head back into the bush.

So what have hunters and bush got to do with me you may ask? If you don't know by now, you probably didn't read this post from the beginning. Do so now? 😁

Well, I'll still answer, a lot. Cos you see, I'm now a hunter. With Lagos, the jungle. I'm tempted to claim to be king of the jungle, but nah, I leave that for the agberos*.

And so, with all the little idiosyncrasies I've noticed about the city so far, I think it's time to state that there is Nigeria and then, there is Nigeria (Lagos). 

Meanwhile, I came across a facebook post, that any neighborhood built in the midst of fuel stations should just say odaaro** to constant electricity and ekaabo*** to epileptic power supply. Ain't that the truth? Honestly, I pondered on this submission and I think he's right. Because:

1. This is Lagos. If this had been said about an Abuja neighborhood, nah, wouldn't believe it. But here in Lagos, anything (if not all things) is possible. 
2. I live in such a neighborhood and what he claimed, I'm experiencing. So yeah, I believe that. 

Next time and up next, the Lagos driver travails.
Cheers... 

P. S
*Touts 
**Goodbye 
***Welcome

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: The Market Woman

Aloha diary, 

I realise I didn't talk about my very first time in an international market, aww.  I'd wanted to but forgot? I guess. Anyways, I recall how my head wouldn't stop swivelling upon stepping feet in one, lol.

There was so much to see. And buy. And then see again. So much. My eyes couldn't take it all in at once. I nearly became dizzy. I'd gone with my sissy for some wedding shopping at the highly heard of Balogun market. 

One of the things I've come to learn so far's that, there are different markets for different commodities in Lagos. The other day, MIL took me to the market, another international market.  This time, for electronics, that'd be the Alaba international market (I keep forgetting the correct pronunciation of that “Alaba”). As in holding hands kinda taking o, lol. We'd get to a crossing, mum grabs my hand. To a rowdy place, another hand grabbing, I was just feeling amused. I'm still very much finding my footing on this soil though (it's probably not helping that I barely step out) and at the same time struggling to acclimatize to the rowdiness (the city's comprised of stuff that do not make me like a city; noise and crowd) and the same time, trying to find my balance as a newly wed.

Whew, they make it look easy. The others. Don't ask me who the others are, they're just that. On both occasions though, I'd come back feeling like this:

Lol, who wouldn't have? So much for going to the market. Until next time diary,

Cheerio

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: New year Bants

Dear diary,

It's done. Officially in the new year. It doesn't feel so new if you ask me. I wonder, should I have thrown out everything related with the last year so I'd feel brand new? Lol

So, I did attend the old/new year ritual (I talked about new year rituals here, or rather asked a question. Biko, you pipu shu ansa me), holding a watch night service into the new year.

And then later in the day, went out for movies and ice-cream with le famille et amies. A ticket was being sold for an outrageous amount hence the cancellation. Allow me to indulge in my fave peeve statement when I encounter something outrageous like that in Lagos, “it can only be Lagos”. I was shocked, a ticket that would ordinarily sell for #500 for instance was multiplied *10. *Hiss* Extortion if you ask me. I wonder if it was because of the season we find ourselves in or because it was a box office movie. Either ways, that price wasn't justified IMO.

The shenanigans that folks welcome new years with is a general affair it would seem. Witnessed some notorious joy riding in the name of “new year” celebrations, SMH. I however witnessed no touts in churches, but there was a lot of banga (fireworks) throwing. Back in the North, they'd burn tyres in the middle of roads. Don't ask me who “they” are. And how did burning tyres add up with the new year baffles me, each to their own sha. 

Another thing that surprised me is that here in Lagos, our Muslim brethren also mark/observe these celebrations (Christmas, New year). I'd thought it was a strictly Christian affair but not so in Lagos. Any excuse to do owanbe in this Lagos is always a welcome development. Besides, an owanbe that's yet to block roads and streets, is that one an owanbe? 🤦🏻 Some things tire me in this Lagos TBH. My love-hate relationship with this city won't be ending anytime soon I'm afraid. Are there things I like about Lagos? Of course.

1. Food: for those that don't know, I identify as a foodie 😋. Food stuffs' extremely cheap here. At least compared to where I'm coming from. Not veggies though (carrots et al. The North owns those). 
2. Erm... That's it! Lol,  actively searching for more reasons. Were I to be a party kinda person, Lagos woulda been for me. They're good at partying I've observed.

Unfortunately, same day, news filtered in of a loss in the neighborhood, to the cold hands of death. For a moment, I felt cold, we were barely into the year.

Well, that did put some damper on things. So for those of us that've resumed work, journey mercies tro and fro. The roads are still traffic free,

Hubby gets to work in record time these days. Can this last forever pretty please? 🙏🏼

Peace...

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: The year of Firsts

Dear diary,

A merry Christmas to you. How was it? Mine was spectacular.

Yeah, spectacularly spectacular. Experienced Christmas in Lagos for the first time and it was...hmm, dunno yet. 

This year's Christmas also happens to be my first Christmas as a “Mrs” (there seems to be a lot of firsts happening to and around me lately) and it was ok. Not exactly as tentatively planned, but ok. There will always be other Christmas'es' I told myself. 

So, attended the Christmas service with the family and spent some part of the day with the extended family cooking up a storm in the kitchen 😋 with the CCO (Chief Commanding Officer), my mother in-law supervising 😁 Afterwards, had a really quiet day no thanks to the powers that be, PHCN.  To cut short a rather boring long story, allow me to tell the story with pictures. 

 Trying to reason how to go about making our first Christmas really memorable and beginning to feel stressed. Even before I'd started anything🤦🏻.

 Yay, me finally catching the holiday spirit bug as soon as I started the decorations. Ably assisted by my bruva*

                                    Victory at last😄

And then cooking began in ernest. Here, I was the assistant chef😁

Christmas morning😍

And that was it. The highlight of the whole affair IMO was hosting guests, haha. My hostessing skills are quite rusty, believe me. 

Another surprise, the roads and streets of Lagos were empty and traffic was relatively light. I'd been told it would be that way. But Lagos? That's chock-full of human beings? Like sardines in a tin box? Impossicant I thought. But, seeing was indeed believing as it's said. Apparently, all the wise men from the East who'd migrated West to hustle, had returned home for the holidays, hehehe. Please do not quote me anywhere. 

There were still pockets of traffic here and there but not your typical Mexican stand off (according to hubby). Not that I strayed too far from my locale, nope. Waiting to see how the new year celebrations would look like. I've heard, touts take over during the cross over nights that are usually held in churches. Well, *Fingers Crossed*

😁😋🤐

And yes, Boxing Day did indeed look like this. There's more than enough to go round, please help yourself😀. Merry Christmas once again. 
Cheers...

*Bruva - Brother

Frank Friday:Putting CHRIST in Christmas

A merry Christmas to you and yours. My prayer for you's that you see and know and experience the visible manifestation of the reason for the season, Jesus. 

I hope we all had a good one. Statistics show that this is also the season many get depressed due to one thing or the other. Could be pressure, distance from family, friends and loved ones, lack of money or one thing or the other. But let's try to not put ourselves under any sort of unnecessary pressure. Which brings to mind a joke someone shared recently about another someone being asked about the Christmas celebration and s/he was like, “is it my baiday?” Lol, sounds like something I can say. True, it's not your birthday so don't feel like you've got to throw a party to prove a point or something like that. No. Christmas' all about Jesus' arrival and its significance. If we must ponder on anything, it should be that.  Remember, you've got nothing to prove. I'm also talking to myself by the way cos in the beginning, I was gonna put some pressure on myself, based on first Christmas as a married woman you know😋. I'd wanted making it a memorable one. But hey, 🤷🏻

There will always be other Christmas'es'. I believe. So here are some pictorials that attempt to describe how this year's Christmas commemoration looked like: 

Me reasoning how to go about making our first Christmas really memorable and beginning to feel stressed. Even before I'd started anything🤦🏻. JJC*

Yay, me finally catching the holiday spirit bug as soon as I started the decorations. Ably assisted by my bruva*

Victory at last😄

And then cooking began in ernest. Here, I was the assistant chef😁

Christmas morning😍

This was to be a short post as is my fashion but it just occurred to me that I veered off course a lil bit, so...

Here are a few pointers to putting CHRIST back in Christmas. Some persons might argue that Christmas observance ain't even scriptural and was an adopted pagan tradition and on and on, but that's not the point. The point is, we're already “marking” it right? So, why not do it the proper way as opposed to the usual round of cooking, binge eating, and entertainment that seems to be prevalent. For record purposes, “proper” is highly subjective, this is my “proper”, thank you. 

• Read your Bible. To put it in context, preferably the Christmas story. For us, (I & hubby i.e) we read the book of John chapter one. 
• Go to church. Yeah, most churches hold Christmas services that day. Don't pass it over in favor of finishing your cooking or something. 
• Meditate on the scripture passage read. That way, you're constantly reminded of the reason you're celebrating. That would also curb some untoward behavior (if you know what I'm talking about, drop a comment😉).

As per usual, there'll always be the human factor(s), petty annoyances, grievances et al that'd threaten to make you loose the Christmas spirit but then, *shrugs* that's life for you. Deal with it! Will gist you details of my Christmas proper in “Diary of a new Lagos Wife”. Keep it locked down.

So, those were a few pointers. There are lots of ways to having a CHRISTcentric Christmas, but I'm short of time. Yes, time😏 Bye...

Peace.
*JJC - Newbie
*Bruva - Brother

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍:The wedding party 🎊

Dear Diary,

Today I attended my first ever Lagos party  aka wedding aka owanbe *cues in Banky's “ain't no party like a Lagos party”*. I highly doubt my kind of party's what he was singing about, but still, “ain't no party like a Lagos party”. Hehe.

So, I'd attended with a certain mindset (the things I'd heard? Hmm) and I wasn't disappointed. What stood out for me most was the plethora of high class fashion(?) on display. *shrugs shoulders* I'm no fashionista, so I can't tell what's high fashion or not, but what I mean by high class fashion in this context, is the variety of styles that were on display. Wait, is it high class fashion or high end fashion?*facepalm* This is beyond me. Bottom line, I liked what I saw c'est finis. Them sisi ekos (Lagos belles) sure do know how to dress up and turn up. 

At some point I began to feel like the odd one cos guess what, I'd tied iro and buba, young sisi like me. Lol.

I really dunno what's obtainable in the iro and buba game, whether it's strictly for mamas (that's the general consensus) or young 'uns like us can also participate. I hear friends say they can't wear them and yours truly was once in that boat until she saw the light in person of a young girl who rocked it. 

My take though on fashion in general's that, whatever rocks your frame and is comfy and is carried by your conscience, why not? As for me, I tilt towards the conservative and laid back spectrum. In all, it was a lovely fashion parade wedding with me making mental notes 📝 of styles to sew next, haha. I kept musing about how I finally get to witness the "Lagos turn up" folks shout about on social media.  If anything, Lagosians ain't playing.

Hubby though was of the opinion that I was yet to see anything, that that was a precursor of things that were to come (pls bear with my grammar😂). 

But outside of fashion, I couldn't tell much any difference between a Lagos wedding and that of others, like say, Abuja. I had a swell time though, regardless of having arrived the venue feeling tired and drowsy. Why? Seven letters, one word, go!









Traffic! 🚥

Peace...

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: Imagine Dragons

Dear diary, 

I have a confession to make, I'm a scaredy cat. Never knew how much of a scaredy cat I was until my relocation to Lagos. Lagos, the monster that devours the hapless unsuspecting victim (at least in my head). I've been asked to not see it in that light, na God go help person. It brought out all my fears, both real and imagined and it turns out that the latter's the worse.

So, hubby practically pushed me out of the nest today. I'd been assigned this mission for a long time; “go to Egbeda” but I've been terrified of doing that on my own. Emphasis on “on my own”. At least I've passed through several times heavily "guarded", lol. Fear sha, smh. For those that know the distance between Igando and Egbeda, it's not such a big deal. I mean, I only get to enter one bus. This has made me remember my first individual trip at night to Ikotun *shudders*, another time. 

So I did and mission was successful until my return journey where instead of going to Igando, oga bus driver took me to Ikotun. Didn't notice in time because I was busy composing this. 

Well, to God be the glory, none of my imagined fears came to pass like missing a bus stop which technically (wasn't my fault) happened or being told that my English is too much or the bus leaving me because I'm walking too slowly (which nearly happened) or one conductor insulting me on top of my change because, reminder.

Ah Lagos, it's well. 

Shout out to hubby for pulling off a typical mother hen or is it eagle routine on me, you do well 😏. Lagos sha, it's not for me. I know this.

Peace...
Trivia: today's entry subject matter's a band name. Yup. I love their song “Believer”, check it out. 

Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍

Me coming outta my hiatus

Still me wondering if anyone's here

Oh bloggy, bloggy, bloggy, I've missed you so.

Hi there guys, howdy? This has been a long time coming but only until yesterday, courtesy of a comment on a post concerning my Lagos travails joys which I'd shared on facebook, have I decided to run with it. This title/series is courtesy of that and God willing, I shall be reposting the said post here. It'll be our first journal entry 😁. Timely, if you ask me cos I've encountered one time too many, stuff I'd rather not. In this Lagos.

I'm sure it's no longer news what brought yours truly down west right? If it is, I'm sorry and owe you guys a major throw/flash back. Click here to get the gist of how the Northern belle traded the North for West, epic.

So encountering Lagos was a huge culture shock for me all in all. Gist for another day seeing as this is us officially launching the “Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍” series. Sit back, put your feet up and enjoy the journey. Seeing Lagos through the eyes of a newbie. 

Ekaabo. 

Peace

Frank Friday: Being human

Back when I used to hear spending time with nature, I'd always picture myself neckdeep in shrubbery in some jungle or some other wild place. After all, nature equals wild yeah? Lol

I've never considered myself an outdoorsy person but then I still enjoyed the little things like watching the day break, or how the clouds move. 

I used to stay up late just because I wanted to hear and feel the night after all the hum drums the humans must have made. You know, we make so much noise. I sometimes wonder if all the noise is heard in space and how. Does it sound like a mighty drone of bees? Or like the dound of crashing waves? Only this time, the noise is magnified thousands of times over. I'm not a scientist so I can't tell the correct value of the magnification, not that you mind do you? 

So, not until I moved into a house with a balcony view did I realise what I'd been missing. I've always wanted to live in one and it happened, onto the next wish. The minutes I spend there drinking in all the sights that take place above and below me is something I can't describe. Just know that God is truly great. 

I could spend hours just gazing up at the sky, it's just that that we humans have something other living beings don't. It's called a job. Hence, one can't possibly do enough of the above. It'd be termed, “wasting time.” Well, thank God for “small” mercies, for those pockets of time that one can freely indulge.

Peace...

Frozen Smiles and Bleeding Hearts

The year was 2015, someone had just had their heart broken. And for that, the world stood still *applause*

Well, at least that's how the expression, "Frozen Smiles and Bleeding Hearts' was interpreted. In as much as the world revolves around relationships (yes, it certainly does), it's not always a man and woman thing. I mean, there are so many things that could pass as heart break barring a romantic relationship. 

1. I just missed out on eating my favourite flavour of ice cream, that's heart breaking.
2. Engrossed in a book and a favourite character's killed e.g, Dumbledore in Harry Potter, now that's really heart breaking. Should I go on?
3. Someone promises me money at a time I really do need it and *gasp*, it's a no deal. Hmm, this is more than a heartbreak I tell you.

So, why all these examples? Well, things ain't always the way they appear to be. Until black and/or white's been proven to be that, then, let there be gray areas until something else happens that makes that pale in comparison.

I realize that that expression,could mean so many things sha subject to the readers or hearers, so I forgive your false or not so false assumptions😛. In that case, just leave me with my frozen smile and bleeding heart.

Yours' in heartbreak, adniL.

How I Sat-Ur(My)-Day: A Train(ed) Story

Who remembers that nursery rhyme of the train waiting at the station? 

Hi guys😁 *waves* lol, just take the virtual wave abeg. It's been so long and I missed you guys, I missed the blog and I did miss writing. Not that I've not been writing, just not been publishing 😁

So, I'm gonna drop this gist that I've baby sat for too long and I had help writing it btw by my co author and partner in the tale. So, here goes nothing.

Who goes on a round-trip via train between Abuja and Kaduna, for no other reason than the sheer novelty of the experience? Meeee. Yes me, I so did. Well, because I caould and because - read up - it was a novel experience and an exciting one at that. 

Sight me? 

The trip involved a four hour train ride,  and a 90-minute layover at the Rigasa terminal in Kaduna. So as I'm sure you can imagine, there was a lot of sitting. The padded train seats were comfortable though and the air-conditioned cabin soothed all other sedentary discomforts. My only complaint would be that I couldn't recline the seats for a more comfortable posture,  and I didn't bring a seat cushion along.

Interior

The waiting stint in the departure lounge at the  Rigasa station was also in an air-conditioned and 'fan-assisted' hall with metal seats. They were suitable but I'm sure they were not designed to encourage long-term sitting.

It was a bright and smiley sunny day

Whatever the case, on both occasions,  l sat until it was a chore, from 10am when the train departed Kubwa, Abuja for Rigasa, Kaduna and back. Including another hour and half wait at the Rigasa terminal. 

But enough of the butt-aching story. The scenery consisted mostly of rocky,  mountainous areas interspersed with wide,  flat grasslands over which one could gaze out for a couple of kilometers. There were intermittent farmlands and drying streams, cattle and their herders and zinc covered sheds and thatched settlements. Over all, it wasn't exactly a scenery per se but it was enough.

My companion spent a better part of the trip trying to get me to sleep when I remarked about how sleep-deprived I felt from a very short night the day before.

All in all, it was a good trip. Not particularly fun as fun might be defined cos we ended up not touring as planned but, it was fun none the less😊

As with all things, I learnt some lessons on the trip which I shall be sharing anytime soon. Bye, have a lovely week ahead 😘 
Peace...