Feelers

For some reason, when I come across certain things - reading, hearing, seeing - fiam, my mind goes off on a tangent. The other day, it was a song I was listening to and then today, it was an article I was reading which birthed this post.

What are feelings? How do we make sense of them? Why are some persons more feely feely (sensitive) than others?

Well, I have no answers, sorry to say. But for myself, I know that once upon a time, I repressed my feelings. Apparently, it was cool to do so then or it was a taboo? Can't exactly remember hehe. But, letting myself to feel was tantamount to being vulnerable and I hated being vulnerable. Still hate it except in the right context I suppose.

So what changed? Well, it didn't just happen overnight. I don't think I even noticed the paradigm shift but I recently realised that I no longer run away from my feelings rather, I embrace them wholeheartedly; give them a warm reception and send them on their way. I've come to realise that it's the lil' girl that's trying to say something. You want love? I'll give you that. You're sad? Aww darling, it's ok. You're angry? Why? Ok, you dunno why? Oya, vent it, but whatever you do, don't repress it. You feel frustrated hun? It's ok, take your time examine all the reasons why you feel that way.

I didn't actively engage my emotions once upon a time; anger especially. Then I thought it wrong to be angry and avoided it at all cost. That led me to become the passive aggressive type (probably still am, but at least now I know and so I'm conquering it). Anger was bad energy, still is. So is jealousy and a whole lot of other bad juju.

I guess what I needed to understand was that God gave us feelings (emotions) for a reason, they shouldn't be denied. It's not a crime to feel the things that one does feel but acknowledging these feelings make them all the more easy to understand and to develop subsequent plans of action in handling them.

I got angry with a friend recently (for the record, I'm not easily angered) and reacted. She went on and on about how disappointed she was in me and my reaction (I'd walked away and didn't answer her when she called out to me). This happened after church BTW. Ok, admittedly, it was a little incident that tripped me off but that little incident was based on a series of other little events that had happened over a period of time and I decided not to let the recent one slide. So, the sermon got to a point where I had to ask her, "I don vex for you before?" She couldn't answer. Perhaps that's why she was disappointed. Maybe she thought I was anger proof lol. She never acknowledged what she did BTW but that ain't the point. The point is, it's ok to feel the way you feel but be careful of your actions during that period lest you go overboard and make the wrong choices. That's why people advise other people to not make decisions in the heat of the moment - whatever the moment might be (anger, lust, infatuation, frustration, fatigue, despair etc).

Over the years, I've managed to create various ways I tackle emotional overwhelm. It could be withdrawal, writing also does it for me - shout out to my journals. They've been with me through thick 'n' thin lol. Generally, writing helps clear my mind and put things in perspective so do walks. I take long walks - they almost always help me make sense of stuff. I talk to my friends - that's the one I'm still working on. Talking to people doesn't come easy for me but after I've done that, I wonder why I waited that long to do it, hehe. And then, this' the easy one; I cry. Yep, I'm a big cry baby, 🙈😶. Tears are cathartic (that was once my Facebook post). It's like a cleansing, literally purging out all them toxins out. And when I'm done, it's like a rainbow after a torrential downpour. Yeah, that's the feeling I get after a good cry. 

Last but not least, I pray and meditate on God's word. I remind myself of what God says concerning whatever's the cause of those feelings in the first place and hand over everything to him. I can't shout. I'm only human after all and all these overall has kept me sane and grounded.

All in all, I'm allowed to feel all the feels I want to feel (that includes wanting to be alone, wanting to not pick calls amongst other things, free me. Going forward, I refuse to allow anyone guilt trip me on these). So, welcome, emotions, welcome. Come one, come all! None will be turned away; none will be dwelt upon.

Peace.

Photo Credit: Indiatoday

Easter Sunday Special: A Man of Sorrows

Easter for me is the whole essence of Christianity - resurrection day. If Christ had not risen, what message would we be preaching today? What hope would we have as believers? No resurrection, no Christianity. I want to imagine an alternate reality where the resurrection didn't take place. Peter would've probably gone on to become head of the fishermen council and we'd never have heard of him again, end of story. John, the beloved would've probably been so overtaken by grief that he pined away into obscurity and we'd not have had the Revelations. As for the rest, well, everyone would've have taken heed to the cry, "to your tents oh Israel"* and dispersed, never to be heard of again. And as for me? Well, I'd probably not be here by now, having listened to the lies of the enemy and gone down the way of Judas. 

So you see, Easter's not just a mere celebration for me. I'm celebrating the new life God gave me through his Son Jesus. I'm celebrating the fact that death's been conquered in victory forever. I'm celebrating the fact that by the resurrection, I've been given a new lease on life. I'm celebrating a whole lot of things, what are you celebrating?

During the church service this morning, I could barely keep from crying. The choir ministered two songs that took up entire new meanings for me; Cece Winans' 'It Wasn't Easy' and Nicole Mullen's 'My Redeemer Lives'. These words stuck out; "Don't think for a moment that I never felt the pain..don't take it lightly what I've done...it wasn't easy, but it was worth it."

Check out those two songs (lyrics) on the net in case you're not familiar with them. One last word, know Jesus for yourself. If you don't know him, you haven't started living (truly). He's the best thing that can ever happen to anyone (word).

A man of sorrows is what Isaiah used to describe him. He became nothing to make us everything. It's recorded in scriptures that he grew up just like us (imagine your growing up years). Yep, he was also brought up that way. There was nothing special about him. He didn't have the majestic presence of a king nor the mighty carriage of a warrior neither was he finely clothed. He was just like us; a mere man, a carpenter. He probably would've been referred to as a peasant were it to have been the Elizabethan era, yet there was no doubt as to who he was. All of Earth's creation testifies of Him. The only Man to have tasted death and live. The only Man that holds the keys to death and the grave.*

I could go on and on trust me, but I wanted this to be a short post for your edification and mine as well and so I ask, do you know this Man, the Son of Man?

Happy resurrection day...

And may it find expression in our lives...

Amen.

Peace.

*1kings 12 :16

*Revelation 1:18

Photo Credit: YouVersion - The Bible App

April Fools' Day: Origins

How often have we asked how did so and so come about? I know for some (the analytical ones especially) it's often. Most times we participate in events and don't ask why we do what we do. For instance, April 1st is one day that's set aside to destroy prank folks and pull practical jokes.

So today, before I go afooling, the question pops into my head, why is April 1st tagged April fools day? I mean, is it that all the fools convene on this day? Is it like their own special holiday or a day set aside to mark their exploits? Who are these fools BTW? I once came upon a joke about an atheist coming to the court of law to contest not having their own day since most religions of the world have theirs; Christmas, Sallah, Hannukah to mentíon but a few, and the judge responded that they already had their own day, April 1st because only a fool would say there's no God*. 

Anyway, my questions led me to my brainiac friend and companion, Google and it turns out that they also do not exactly know, lol. I mean, there are so many theories pertaining to this day. 

So according to Wiki, April 1st is sometimes called 'All Fools' Day' and was first brought into the limelight by a book written by Geoffrey Chaucer, 'The Canterbury Tales'. If you haven't read 'The Canterbury Tales', then please go do so and tell me all about it. Honestly, I found that book difficult to read. Still struggling with it.

So back to April 1st, there are different narratives as to its origin and that's saying a lot. There's no stand out reason as to how the day came about, nor how its name was derived and it's celebrated differently in different climes. For instance in the UK, pranks stop at 12 noon and anyone who attempts to pull a practical joke after then is the April fool.

In Poland, this is a day for creating elaborate hoax stories. Even the media chimes in. It's said that an alliance that was signed on the 1st of April by the Government had to be back dated in order to be taken seriously. Hmm, it's that serious over there.

Even though one can't exactly pinpoint its origins, advocates of this day believe it is good for the health as it 'encourages "jokes, hoaxes...pranks, [and] belly laughs", and brings all the benefits of laughter including stress relief and reducing strain on the heart.'

Crítics on the other hand believe it is '"creepy and manipulative", "rude", and "a little bit nasty", as well as based on schadenfreude* and deceit.'

For more, read here and here.

So that's that. I'm on the prowl for who to prank😈😈, lemme go plot.

Byeee 😘

*Psalm 14:1- The fool says in his heart, "There is no God."

*Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others

Photo Credits: Elephant Journal, Wonderopolis.