Diary of a new Lagos Wife💍: New year Bants

Dear diary,

It's done. Officially in the new year. It doesn't feel so new if you ask me. I wonder, should I have thrown out everything related with the last year so I'd feel brand new? Lol

So, I did attend the old/new year ritual (I talked about new year rituals here, or rather asked a question. Biko, you pipu shu ansa me), holding a watch night service into the new year.

And then later in the day, went out for movies and ice-cream with le famille et amies. A ticket was being sold for an outrageous amount hence the cancellation. Allow me to indulge in my fave peeve statement when I encounter something outrageous like that in Lagos, “it can only be Lagos”. I was shocked, a ticket that would ordinarily sell for #500 for instance was multiplied *10. *Hiss* Extortion if you ask me. I wonder if it was because of the season we find ourselves in or because it was a box office movie. Either ways, that price wasn't justified IMO.

The shenanigans that folks welcome new years with is a general affair it would seem. Witnessed some notorious joy riding in the name of “new year” celebrations, SMH. I however witnessed no touts in churches, but there was a lot of banga (fireworks) throwing. Back in the North, they'd burn tyres in the middle of roads. Don't ask me who “they” are. And how did burning tyres add up with the new year baffles me, each to their own sha. 

Another thing that surprised me is that here in Lagos, our Muslim brethren also mark/observe these celebrations (Christmas, New year). I'd thought it was a strictly Christian affair but not so in Lagos. Any excuse to do owanbe in this Lagos is always a welcome development. Besides, an owanbe that's yet to block roads and streets, is that one an owanbe? 🤦🏻 Some things tire me in this Lagos TBH. My love-hate relationship with this city won't be ending anytime soon I'm afraid. Are there things I like about Lagos? Of course.

1. Food: for those that don't know, I identify as a foodie 😋. Food stuffs' extremely cheap here. At least compared to where I'm coming from. Not veggies though (carrots et al. The North owns those). 
2. Erm... That's it! Lol,  actively searching for more reasons. Were I to be a party kinda person, Lagos woulda been for me. They're good at partying I've observed.

Unfortunately, same day, news filtered in of a loss in the neighborhood, to the cold hands of death. For a moment, I felt cold, we were barely into the year.

Well, that did put some damper on things. So for those of us that've resumed work, journey mercies tro and fro. The roads are still traffic free,

Hubby gets to work in record time these days. Can this last forever pretty please? 🙏🏼

Peace...

Frank Friday: In the cool of the Morning

 

Hi there, *waves vigorously and enthusiastically*

So! I've resurfaced. I had to. I knew I would. The question was, when? Well, now we know. It's been a minute, wow. To think it's been exactly a month I last said hi😄. It feels so good to be back. 

So, hi again. How're you? Missed me? Missed me not? Oh well, I trust you've been well. If you reside in Nigeria, well, you have no option other than that, regardless. Yeah, regardless.

So, a lotta water has indeed passed under the proverbial bridge, whew.

1. Someone took a really long break from her  hair business. Too long a break if you ask me. But you're not, right? 
2. Another someone finally rounded off her studies. Awaiting results *fingers crossed*
3. Someone travelled miles to hook up with man *face palm* (a friend's phrasing). 
4. Still that someone relocated to a foreign land. A land of the non smilers (thankfully, that someone's surrounded by the opposite). A land of the hustlers and buzzites - Lagos. 
5. And yet another someone upped and took a bold step into the oldest institution ever institutionalised (lol). Yep. 

Who's been this someone biko? Righto, yours truly, moi. And that institution's marriage!! Yaaay right? Lol, ok, whatever.

So bloggy dear might be taking a different direction soon. Can't say what exactly and why, let's call it a feeling. Even better, intuition. But it'll be for good, really. 

More gist

More yarn

And yes, insight into what the dark side other side feels like. Come join us, I'm recruiting😉

Hang in there, I've got a juicy story to share. Will post Tuesday, God willing. Courtesy of a benevolent contributor. Shout out to Brian, all the way from Kenya. Salut!

See y'all soon...

Peace

Frank Friday: Sometimes...

I sometimes forget.
I forget who I am
I forget my confessions
I forget my faith
I forget that I'm different
I forget who I am

I forget too much I think

To forget is good

But not all forgetfulness is good

I forget that I need to love myself

Bad

I forget that I matter

Bad

I forget that I have a right to what I feel

Bad

I forget to put myself first
Sometimes good, sometimes bad
Life once used to be black or white
I forget how that was
Sometimes good, sometimes bad
Now, I'm somewhere in between

A Letter To Her Blog

My dear dear blog,

It's with great sadness that I write to you. I'm sorry that I've not been there for you, I'm sorry that I abandoned you, I'm sorry that I've not had enough time for you. That I've not been posting does not mean that I've not been writing. You're always on my mind and you're all that I think of (ok, exaggeration, but you get my drift). 

Truth is, you're not far from my thoughts but so many things have conspired to keep me away from you; time, life, work, studies et al. Life most especially's been a lil hectic.

So this is me saying sorry that you feel neglected, out of sight isn't out of mind. I want to crave your indulgence and assure you that soon, everything will be alright. Everything will be just fine.

Yours'

Preoccupied blogger.

How I Sat-Ur(My)-Day: A Train(ed) Story

Who remembers that nursery rhyme of the train waiting at the station? 

Hi guys😁 *waves* lol, just take the virtual wave abeg. It's been so long and I missed you guys, I missed the blog and I did miss writing. Not that I've not been writing, just not been publishing 😁

So, I'm gonna drop this gist that I've baby sat for too long and I had help writing it btw by my co author and partner in the tale. So, here goes nothing.

Who goes on a round-trip via train between Abuja and Kaduna, for no other reason than the sheer novelty of the experience? Meeee. Yes me, I so did. Well, because I caould and because - read up - it was a novel experience and an exciting one at that. 

Sight me? 

The trip involved a four hour train ride,  and a 90-minute layover at the Rigasa terminal in Kaduna. So as I'm sure you can imagine, there was a lot of sitting. The padded train seats were comfortable though and the air-conditioned cabin soothed all other sedentary discomforts. My only complaint would be that I couldn't recline the seats for a more comfortable posture,  and I didn't bring a seat cushion along.

Interior

The waiting stint in the departure lounge at the  Rigasa station was also in an air-conditioned and 'fan-assisted' hall with metal seats. They were suitable but I'm sure they were not designed to encourage long-term sitting.

It was a bright and smiley sunny day

Whatever the case, on both occasions,  l sat until it was a chore, from 10am when the train departed Kubwa, Abuja for Rigasa, Kaduna and back. Including another hour and half wait at the Rigasa terminal. 

But enough of the butt-aching story. The scenery consisted mostly of rocky,  mountainous areas interspersed with wide,  flat grasslands over which one could gaze out for a couple of kilometers. There were intermittent farmlands and drying streams, cattle and their herders and zinc covered sheds and thatched settlements. Over all, it wasn't exactly a scenery per se but it was enough.

My companion spent a better part of the trip trying to get me to sleep when I remarked about how sleep-deprived I felt from a very short night the day before.

All in all, it was a good trip. Not particularly fun as fun might be defined cos we ended up not touring as planned but, it was fun none the less😊

As with all things, I learnt some lessons on the trip which I shall be sharing anytime soon. Bye, have a lovely week ahead 😘 
Peace... 

Little bursts of Clarity

Happy new year lovelies. Circumstances have brought me here much earlier than anticipated. I was gonna be here Val's day armed with the greatest love story ever told or heard. You know what that greatest love story is? It's a beautiful story, I never get tired of reading about it *hint hint*  Some do I'm sure. So, back to why I'm here.

While groping in the midst of my grief this fine morning and pondering on a message I'd sent someone, my eyes alighted on something. A message. Any other day, I prolly wouldn't read much into it but let's just say that message was perfect for the time and state I found myself in. It read: "let there be heart's peace when each day is done", like wow. That says a lot in so little words. The message packed a punch. I'm not going to break it down, I believe it's really self explanatory.

God really is present. He's everywhere. I saw Him in the smile of a child that came with her mum for a condolence visit. She was such a giggly baby. I also saw Him in the hugs shared and received. I saw Him in the prayers and messages of friends and associates. I saw Him in the selflessness and generosity of some persons. I saw Him in a moment of sunshine when my mind began to get clouded and it was a symbolic moment. I saw Him in the messages He brought me at the right time. The right word, the right music, the right devotional. 

And I saw Him again, today in that message.

This period has been a learning curve for me. I'm always learning sha so it wasn't so difficult. I'm learning that I've got patience after all. I'm also glad that what I'm learning, I'd already learnt theoretically and I'm only now learning its practicals. God is so good. I can't adequately describe how real He was to me this period. He was so real, I could practically feel him walking with me and giving me his hand like a gentleman would to a lady when He felt my strength flagging. He was right there whispering words of comfort and cautioning me when the ballistic moments came knocking, lol. Wow. I'm still not done grieving and may never will, (this was expressed so elegantly in a poem a friend shared with me, I hope to share it with you guys someday) but I do not grieve as those without hope. The light of God's word shines its brightest when it's darkest. This is my testimony. Allez up (lol, dunno what that is or if it means anything sef, it just sounds like a good sign off). 

Peace... 

Giddyap

So, it's finally come to this *sigh*

Please don't leave, pretty please don't. 

We were so good together, are you gonna throw away an entire year? Just like that?

******

Lol, I dunno what the above is, but it just came to mind. So, to the main gist: 2017 highlights. Yeahhhhh, I, like so many others (I'm sure) am taking stock. How did the year go, what did we do, what didn't we do, what should we have done  differently and yada yada. 

2017 was a good year. Although in the beginning, it wasn't so. My theme for the year was 'hopeful' and you could say things did turn out that way. In retrospect, it was also a year of cakes, lol. The year of cakes, I like how that sounds. Had too much of it. So, here are a few highlights of 2017 as it concerns me biko, not the world.

-I moved into my own apartment. Whoohoo, I'm still excited about that. But wait, did I say apartment? Lol, biko, room. 

-Floated a business this year.

-Came outta the closet with my writing.

-Attained lofty heights spiritually. I was actually intentional with my spirituality this year, wawu.

-And yes, I finally did start walking the talk. I'm talking about love, walking in love. This is probably tied to the spiritual height mentioned up there. It is actually tied to it, who am I deceiving?

-Another wawu here, I was more outgoing. Put myself out there (whatever that means), made new friends and just generally didn't take life too serious this year. Yippee, progress. Again, in the beginning, it wasn't so. 

-Started upon an idea for a book (Lord help me, I'm a wonderful procrastinator).

-Acquired a new skill, gele tying. I'm sure someone was thinking coding, lol. And since then, I've been rocking gele upandan. 

-Attended a lot of weddings. Like really, a lot...

and other stuff that I'm grateful to God for. 

And...that's it. Sounds like a busy year yeah? False.

In as much as those wonderful things happened, certain things didn't.

-Didn't conclude my studies as I'd intended

-Zero savings no thanks to some poor financial decisions I made early in the year.

-And then I failed to finish my tailoring course. It wasn't convenient honestly, but it still hurts when I think of it. 

-I also didn't exactly follow up on my commitment to the blog this year.

Projections for 2018

I've got one and only one, to be done with my studies. I'm so tired of been so tired of it hanging around my neck. Who send me work? Perhaps when I'm done with that, I can now focus properly on my career path. I need to look into that. Oh, and also to try more in putting myself out there (whatever that does mean). 😁

Oh, and one more, be more intentional with my book list. Venture out to read more business books and technical stuff? Books on economics, world economy and power, you know, all those sorta stuffy books? (My heart rate just spiked when I typed that) lol. It's difficult reading such books and that's why I have to be intentional about it.

Generally, 2017 was amazing and I owe most of that to you guys. Yes, you. Thanks for  all of the encouragement; reading, commenting, liking and sharing all them write ups. Really, it did mean a lot. Here's saying I love you all, keep the flag flying. And for those of us who barely achieved ½ of what we'd set out to do during the year, the race ain't over. Keep keeping on 😉

Photo Credit: Google Images

Princess Warrior

So many fights

So many battles 

The greatest I fear

Is the battle of self

I have an ongoing battle 

One I thought

I won a long time ago

A pyrrhic victory at best

But a victory nonetheless

Alas I fear, 

An old enemy's risen.

From the shadows

It had been banished to,

It arises

But fear not, 

For this time, 

It shall be conquered 

Once and for all.

Once and for good, 

Shall it be conquered.

                                  ***

My note indicates that I penned this at 11:58am on 24th December 2013. Hmm, it's been three years. And I was at work. I recall the circumstances that surrounded that scribble.

Everyone's got a demon they battle daily; personal demons, work demons, financial demons. For some, it may be anger, depression, lust, envy, pride, name it. God gives us the victory daily.

Peace...

SOTD "New Dawn Fades" by Joy Division 

Red light, Yellow light, Green light

So, I've had Simi's "Joromi" on repeat for a while now and this post is its result. Guys would say that they don't make a move cos they don't see any greenlight. And in my head I'm like, seriously? The funny part is, when that light's shone, they don't or can't even recognize it, which begs the question, why don't guys see the green light flashing? Or are the ladies flashing a teal light mistaking it for green? Lol. But, what are the actions and/or inactions that construe this green light sef?

So, who can relate with missing the lights and signs and/or misconstruing them?

Sigh, who can understand the ways of a man with a woman?* Just random thoughts. Last day at the office for me and I'm pretty much pumped. Bye work, hello holiday...

Peace.

*Proverbs 30:18
Photo credit: google images

On being a wall flower

I'd start by saying, as a wall flower your default answer should be no. At all times (I'll expatiate on that in another post). Today's for the wall flowers in the hizzouse (a show of hands please✌)😂

So here goes:

1. At all times, turn down offers to attend social functions. Yep, end of post. That's what being a wall flowers's all about, saying no. Lol, ok not the end.
2. If perchance you were tricked or coerced or for whatever reason you decide to go, arrive early, you don't want anyone to see you arriving do you? If you find yourself running late, try to slip in quietly and unobtrusively. Let it be that you just did appear out of thin air. 
3. Dress to blend
4. Find your spot; a vantage point where you can see all and not be seen
5. Befriend the couch and do not for any reason disengage from it.
6. Note all exit points in case of emergencies like needing a breath of fresh air or escaping loudmouths or/and for quick and easy getaway. You'll thank me later 😉

So that's that, got any more to add? But why would you want to be a wall flower anyways? Being a wall flower's not for the faint of heart just so you know😋

Disclaimer: This is a tongue in cheek post by the way.

*

*

*

Nah, I lied but personally, I enjoy being a wall flower. Infact,  it's one of my hobbies. I own it. Cheers, gotta run.... 

Peace. 

I love that photo, it's from my phone's wallpaper collection. 

Feelers

For some reason, when I come across certain things - reading, hearing, seeing - fiam, my mind goes off on a tangent. The other day, it was a song I was listening to and then today, it was an article I was reading which birthed this post.

What are feelings? How do we make sense of them? Why are some persons more feely feely (sensitive) than others?

Well, I have no answers, sorry to say. But for myself, I know that once upon a time, I repressed my feelings. Apparently, it was cool to do so then or it was a taboo? Can't exactly remember hehe. But, letting myself to feel was tantamount to being vulnerable and I hated being vulnerable. Still hate it except in the right context I suppose.

So what changed? Well, it didn't just happen overnight. I don't think I even noticed the paradigm shift but I recently realised that I no longer run away from my feelings rather, I embrace them wholeheartedly; give them a warm reception and send them on their way. I've come to realise that it's the lil' girl that's trying to say something. You want love? I'll give you that. You're sad? Aww darling, it's ok. You're angry? Why? Ok, you dunno why? Oya, vent it, but whatever you do, don't repress it. You feel frustrated hun? It's ok, take your time examine all the reasons why you feel that way.

I didn't actively engage my emotions once upon a time; anger especially. Then I thought it wrong to be angry and avoided it at all cost. That led me to become the passive aggressive type (probably still am, but at least now I know and so I'm conquering it). Anger was bad energy, still is. So is jealousy and a whole lot of other bad juju.

I guess what I needed to understand was that God gave us feelings (emotions) for a reason, they shouldn't be denied. It's not a crime to feel the things that one does feel but acknowledging these feelings make them all the more easy to understand and to develop subsequent plans of action in handling them.

I got angry with a friend recently (for the record, I'm not easily angered) and reacted. She went on and on about how disappointed she was in me and my reaction (I'd walked away and didn't answer her when she called out to me). This happened after church BTW. Ok, admittedly, it was a little incident that tripped me off but that little incident was based on a series of other little events that had happened over a period of time and I decided not to let the recent one slide. So, the sermon got to a point where I had to ask her, "I don vex for you before?" She couldn't answer. Perhaps that's why she was disappointed. Maybe she thought I was anger proof lol. She never acknowledged what she did BTW but that ain't the point. The point is, it's ok to feel the way you feel but be careful of your actions during that period lest you go overboard and make the wrong choices. That's why people advise other people to not make decisions in the heat of the moment - whatever the moment might be (anger, lust, infatuation, frustration, fatigue, despair etc).

Over the years, I've managed to create various ways I tackle emotional overwhelm. It could be withdrawal, writing also does it for me - shout out to my journals. They've been with me through thick 'n' thin lol. Generally, writing helps clear my mind and put things in perspective so do walks. I take long walks - they almost always help me make sense of stuff. I talk to my friends - that's the one I'm still working on. Talking to people doesn't come easy for me but after I've done that, I wonder why I waited that long to do it, hehe. And then, this' the easy one; I cry. Yep, I'm a big cry baby, 🙈😶. Tears are cathartic (that was once my Facebook post). It's like a cleansing, literally purging out all them toxins out. And when I'm done, it's like a rainbow after a torrential downpour. Yeah, that's the feeling I get after a good cry. 

Last but not least, I pray and meditate on God's word. I remind myself of what God says concerning whatever's the cause of those feelings in the first place and hand over everything to him. I can't shout. I'm only human after all and all these overall has kept me sane and grounded.

All in all, I'm allowed to feel all the feels I want to feel (that includes wanting to be alone, wanting to not pick calls amongst other things, free me. Going forward, I refuse to allow anyone guilt trip me on these). So, welcome, emotions, welcome. Come one, come all! None will be turned away; none will be dwelt upon.

Peace.

Photo Credit: Indiatoday

Once Upon a Wish

Once upon a time

I wished upon a well 
I wished for a job
Where I’d be paid kabillions without lifting a finger 
I wished for love, pure and sweet without the heartache   
I wished for painless and ish free human relationships
I wished for a tall dark and handsome man to fawn over me
I wished for a state of the art home in a highbrow area
Without the inconveniences that comes with building a home
I wished to have the perfect family and life
I wished to be successful
But not too successful
I wished to have a joyful life void of challenges 
I wished to be grown up and be my own person
I wished to have the wisdom of the sage sans life's hard lessons 
I wished for a stress free life 
I wished be taken seriously
But not too serious 
I wished to “settle” 
Now I wish to be free

What else do I wish for?
I wish…
What do I want?

A chuckle floats up the well with a soft voice saying 
"Child, you do not know what you wish for 
When the fish fly and birds swim 
When the grave belches its satisfaction 
And the fire cackles in satiation 
Then shall you have your wishes
Till then, get yourself another wishing well."

Photo Credit: Omoniyi David

MMC: Office Politricks

It's a beautiful Monday ☺

It's a tough world out there made especially tougher without a good support system. In every human social gathering, you're most likely to meet the one that rubs you up the wrong way. How much more in a setting where you're stuck with each other on a daily basis, day in day out. I dunno about you but it can be tiring. Lord help you if there seems to be bad blood (even just a teeny one) in between, then welcome to hell (at least one of its versions).

And so, a beautiful Monday morning was nearly ruined by one of these encounters. Mindfulness is key I tell you, you need to try it.

I tire of the tricks and twists and the backbiting that seem to thrive in official settings. I don't get it. Can't we all be on the same team? (a naïve question, I know). It takes a lot of stamina to work in a politricking environment and bless your soul if you don't know the ropes. Bless your soul even more if you don't even want to learn the ropes.

Well, it’s Monday. Welcome to its turns and twists.

P.S: shout out to one of ours🙌; today's a special day for one of our contributors. Happy birthday to you (they prefer being anonymous, no idea why). We celebrate you, keep thriving🎂.

Peace.

Hate to see you go, Love to watch you leave (Repost)

So today marks the end of the year 2016 at exactly 00:00 hours; count down's begun and it's time to close our books and usher in the new year.

Yo! Hands up in the air if you're excited to see 2016 end. I pretty much am. 

Share with us, how was your 2016? Did you meet all of your goals? Like, all of 'em? Did you? Did you not? Did you lose the weight? Save more money? Laughed more? Lived more? Well whatever your response is, you did fine and that you're alive to see year's end is proof. In my previous post, I borrowed a movie line about not ticking your last tock and tocking your last tick. Well, it's true. Go on ticking until you run out of ticks. Oops, didn't mean to sound dreary.

Don't have much to say but as a family here at AsC, we say thank you for being there, for reading, for your feedback and above all, for sticking with us on this journey. We love you.

Before I sign out, here are a few highlights of 2016 in adniLs cornerville in case you missed them:

• Here we're introduced to Ztembe and her workers' tale in Monday Moaners' Club
• Here's Ana in Journal of a Missionary Wife
• And in pieces of me, we have the Frank Friday entries
• And our first ever debut guest post. Yaay, pretty much pumped about that one and lemme use the opportunity to encourage anyone that might have a write up to share with us. We'd love to feature you on here, feel free to contact us at adnils.corner@gmail.com

So that's that, there are much more but I said 'highlights' so stick around and search out this treasure land for yourselves.
Happy new year's eve friends.

Peace.

Photo Credt: A friend

Who am I? - Annie

😟

I've had 'Annie's' 'Who am I?' on repeat all day and it's doing a lot. It's put me in a sober mood basically that I don't feel like talking or doing anything other than think.

I'm enjoying this weather BTW sans the dust. It's nights like this I miss my hot blankie. Yeah, I once had a blankie that was electrically powered. I miss it.

I love this song.
Make every second count.

P.S: I actually came across a news item that's put me in this mood. I really need to keep away from the news but what's going on really?
*sigh*
God help us all.

Photo Credit: pxleyes.com

The Independent Life

Yay, happy independence day Nigeria (nah, it ain't too late). There's this small voice telling me that I'm being double faced, that I know what I'm doing. I chose to ignore that voice, my greeting still stands good citizens of Nigeria. We're how old again? Since the emancipation that is.

Answer that in your head, but shey you know we're getting old?

Well, it was a saturday over here and I did spend it at a wedding. Sending out hoozahs, howzit going? So, still on the independence matter, I'll be sharing a lil bit about the pains joys of growing up and growing old. Uhm, growing up and growing old? Ok, I'm correct. Today, I have a guest post (yaaaaay). This piece is as a result of a dare and surprisingly, it yielded result. *feeling like a proud teacher*. So here goes.

***

I woke up today and realised I was no longer the fresh, cute, handsome Uniport* guy I once was; it suddenly dawned on me that I no longer receive calls and messages (both the necessary and unnecessary ones) again...

I no longer receive the "send me your account number" messages again. Instead people send their account numbers to me...

I no longer have 1000+ number of friends again and at least 5 visits a day from some....

I no longer carry food stuffs from home like I used to when resuming new school sessions. Instead, I now go to the market by myself to buy rice, beans, Garri, palm oil, groundnut oil, crayfish, salt, provisions etc.

I no longer come home and just enter the kitchen and find something to eat; now, I come home and begin to think of what to eat or not....

I no longer get upkeep money instead I now pay for light bill, LAWMA* bill, security bill, compound dues....

I began to ask myself what happened?.. Answer: MATURITY!! Like me, many of you out there must have asked this same question at one point or the other.

Things are happening so fast and you are confused...You are hoping things will get better... My dear, you don dey old....Nothing will change if you just sit down and do nothing...Before you know it, grey hairs will start showing up and you haven't achieved anything.

You are 30 years and still confused like disco light (Chai)! You are 40 years and still not sure of what to do with yourself (who do you this thing)? Me, I'm 25 years and I haven't achieved one-quarter of all I planned to achieve by now...Mba nu, Irò.... Something has to be done... We can't continue like this.

I encourage everyone who understands what I'm saying; who are in this with me to take a stand and make that change...Take that step... Make that move....

Even God wants you to grow, expand and increase.... You have dwelt too long in one spot... Receive grace for speedy acceleration...

As for me, I'm reviewing and reevaluating my goals...
From a nominal Christian to a world changer.
From thousandnaire to millionaire.

***

So! You've heard read from my guest author. Time stands still for no man you know. It's time to buckle up and hit the ground running especially now one’s got the advantage of youth. I mean, if you do not chase your dreams in your youth, when will you start?
No one said growing up would be easy but it's so worth it. See what I mean here.

Thank you guest author, I must say, I've learnt something.

*University of Portharcourt
*Lagos Waste Management

Photo Credit: 123rf.com

The Myth of Happiness

When did being happy become an obsession?

From another's POV:

Happiness comes at a price.

Happiness is overrated.  

Happiness isn't meant for everyone.

It's impossible to always be happy.

Should I go on?

Well, I'll leave you to that.

For some, being happy does not come easy. They have to work at it and plan for it and try to pull it off in a flawless execution. Why because the happiness gurus say happiness is a way of life. You have to have a zing at all times and constantly walk on cloud nine at all times. You don't want to be seen amoody or acrying or asniffling for even a nano of a second. 

No, no, no, that won't do for the perfect little box they wanna place you in. Ridiculous if you ask me (but you aren't) and so you actively do and practice all that the gurus preach; happiness is in you; happiness is you; happiness is your neighbour; look inside of you; and if that doesn't succeed, you hear;

-Happiness is a purchase away;

-Get this new product and you'll be happy for life.

-Change your wardrobe and your whole life would change for the better.

-Upgrade your phone and you're on your way to been happy.

-Secure this contract and you're set for a happy life.

-Get this bigger house.

-Drive that bigger car.

Get more and more and more and do they succeed? A resounding no, rather, it takes you farther than you've ever gotten to in the doldrumming of life and lower than your lowest of lows because it took so much effort  to try to attain that zen. Or you did attain it but at a steep price or you didn’t because you just don’t know how to be happy.

It’s OK, no judgment here, but the desperate in heart would do anything.

Some have lost quite a lot in the pursuit of happiness. They were probably OK just trudging along living fine and dandy and then someone comes along and slaps a tag on some obscure word and before you know it, it has become some chic trendy go lucky slogan, tada!-be happy. 

Yeah, right.

If that's the kind of happy you're tryna sell to me; I shall be wanting no part of it.

Dear someone, rather than just come up with a gimmicky kinda word it’s better to allow your people to be their real selves, happy or not. I know of naturally moody people.

As an aside, can someone be so kind as to define happiness?

I know it’s strange, but try to understand that sometimes it's OK to be sad. It's OK to actually be down in the dumps. To whine and to groan and to snivel in the pity party you organised for yourself in your sad sorry state.

For a set of some, they don't bother as happiness has simply eluded them. Mayhaps, they did something in their past lives?

For yet another set of others, they've mastered the art of been happy come rain or sunshine. Don't you just envy them and won't you just like to know how they do it?

No? Ah, I see that hubris won't let you see, won't let you perceive, won't...oh well, those of you who have captured the quintessence of happiness and have perfected its art right down to a T, kudos to you. I'm highfiving myself on your behalf. Good for you. Now can you please come show the other others the kumbaya of your happy world?

Not that I envy you, nah, I don't envy Earthlings.

***

Uhm, while it was kinda funny writing this, in actuality, it isn't. There's a lot of sadness and bitterness out there and while it's quite understandable to say "don't worry, be happy" after all, a cheerful heart doeth good like medicine right? Lets also try to be realistic with our expectations. It's kinda sad to see what that beautiful word has been reduced to. It has been made out to be some happy go lucky charm (and I use that loosely). 

Oh well, what's my own? BTW, I dunno what literary style I adopted for this write up. It's all sort of weird to me. It is isn't it? Please do lemme know. I'm sorta experimenting with different writing styles. Lemme know what you think of this particular style and probably we'll come up with a name for it yeah? Would experimental project suffice? lol. I love to experiment and no, I'm no scientist. Go figure.