Feelers

For some reason, when I come across certain things - reading, hearing, seeing - fiam, my mind goes off on a tangent. The other day, it was a song I was listening to and then today, it was an article I was reading which birthed this post.

What are feelings? How do we make sense of them? Why are some persons more feely feely (sensitive) than others?

Well, I have no answers, sorry to say. But for myself, I know that once upon a time, I repressed my feelings. Apparently, it was cool to do so then or it was a taboo? Can't exactly remember hehe. But, letting myself to feel was tantamount to being vulnerable and I hated being vulnerable. Still hate it except in the right context I suppose.

So what changed? Well, it didn't just happen overnight. I don't think I even noticed the paradigm shift but I recently realised that I no longer run away from my feelings rather, I embrace them wholeheartedly; give them a warm reception and send them on their way. I've come to realise that it's the lil' girl that's trying to say something. You want love? I'll give you that. You're sad? Aww darling, it's ok. You're angry? Why? Ok, you dunno why? Oya, vent it, but whatever you do, don't repress it. You feel frustrated hun? It's ok, take your time examine all the reasons why you feel that way.

I didn't actively engage my emotions once upon a time; anger especially. Then I thought it wrong to be angry and avoided it at all cost. That led me to become the passive aggressive type (probably still am, but at least now I know and so I'm conquering it). Anger was bad energy, still is. So is jealousy and a whole lot of other bad juju.

I guess what I needed to understand was that God gave us feelings (emotions) for a reason, they shouldn't be denied. It's not a crime to feel the things that one does feel but acknowledging these feelings make them all the more easy to understand and to develop subsequent plans of action in handling them.

I got angry with a friend recently (for the record, I'm not easily angered) and reacted. She went on and on about how disappointed she was in me and my reaction (I'd walked away and didn't answer her when she called out to me). This happened after church BTW. Ok, admittedly, it was a little incident that tripped me off but that little incident was based on a series of other little events that had happened over a period of time and I decided not to let the recent one slide. So, the sermon got to a point where I had to ask her, "I don vex for you before?" She couldn't answer. Perhaps that's why she was disappointed. Maybe she thought I was anger proof lol. She never acknowledged what she did BTW but that ain't the point. The point is, it's ok to feel the way you feel but be careful of your actions during that period lest you go overboard and make the wrong choices. That's why people advise other people to not make decisions in the heat of the moment - whatever the moment might be (anger, lust, infatuation, frustration, fatigue, despair etc).

Over the years, I've managed to create various ways I tackle emotional overwhelm. It could be withdrawal, writing also does it for me - shout out to my journals. They've been with me through thick 'n' thin lol. Generally, writing helps clear my mind and put things in perspective so do walks. I take long walks - they almost always help me make sense of stuff. I talk to my friends - that's the one I'm still working on. Talking to people doesn't come easy for me but after I've done that, I wonder why I waited that long to do it, hehe. And then, this' the easy one; I cry. Yep, I'm a big cry baby, 🙈😶. Tears are cathartic (that was once my Facebook post). It's like a cleansing, literally purging out all them toxins out. And when I'm done, it's like a rainbow after a torrential downpour. Yeah, that's the feeling I get after a good cry. 

Last but not least, I pray and meditate on God's word. I remind myself of what God says concerning whatever's the cause of those feelings in the first place and hand over everything to him. I can't shout. I'm only human after all and all these overall has kept me sane and grounded.

All in all, I'm allowed to feel all the feels I want to feel (that includes wanting to be alone, wanting to not pick calls amongst other things, free me. Going forward, I refuse to allow anyone guilt trip me on these). So, welcome, emotions, welcome. Come one, come all! None will be turned away; none will be dwelt upon.

Peace.

Photo Credit: Indiatoday

Easter Sunday Special: A Man of Sorrows

Easter for me is the whole essence of Christianity - resurrection day. If Christ had not risen, what message would we be preaching today? What hope would we have as believers? No resurrection, no Christianity. I want to imagine an alternate reality where the resurrection didn't take place. Peter would've probably gone on to become head of the fishermen council and we'd never have heard of him again, end of story. John, the beloved would've probably been so overtaken by grief that he pined away into obscurity and we'd not have had the Revelations. As for the rest, well, everyone would've have taken heed to the cry, "to your tents oh Israel"* and dispersed, never to be heard of again. And as for me? Well, I'd probably not be here by now, having listened to the lies of the enemy and gone down the way of Judas. 

So you see, Easter's not just a mere celebration for me. I'm celebrating the new life God gave me through his Son Jesus. I'm celebrating the fact that death's been conquered in victory forever. I'm celebrating the fact that by the resurrection, I've been given a new lease on life. I'm celebrating a whole lot of things, what are you celebrating?

During the church service this morning, I could barely keep from crying. The choir ministered two songs that took up entire new meanings for me; Cece Winans' 'It Wasn't Easy' and Nicole Mullen's 'My Redeemer Lives'. These words stuck out; "Don't think for a moment that I never felt the pain..don't take it lightly what I've done...it wasn't easy, but it was worth it."

Check out those two songs (lyrics) on the net in case you're not familiar with them. One last word, know Jesus for yourself. If you don't know him, you haven't started living (truly). He's the best thing that can ever happen to anyone (word).

A man of sorrows is what Isaiah used to describe him. He became nothing to make us everything. It's recorded in scriptures that he grew up just like us (imagine your growing up years). Yep, he was also brought up that way. There was nothing special about him. He didn't have the majestic presence of a king nor the mighty carriage of a warrior neither was he finely clothed. He was just like us; a mere man, a carpenter. He probably would've been referred to as a peasant were it to have been the Elizabethan era, yet there was no doubt as to who he was. All of Earth's creation testifies of Him. The only Man to have tasted death and live. The only Man that holds the keys to death and the grave.*

I could go on and on trust me, but I wanted this to be a short post for your edification and mine as well and so I ask, do you know this Man, the Son of Man?

Happy resurrection day...

And may it find expression in our lives...

Amen.

Peace.

*1kings 12 :16

*Revelation 1:18

Photo Credit: YouVersion - The Bible App

April Fools' Day: Origins

How often have we asked how did so and so come about? I know for some (the analytical ones especially) it's often. Most times we participate in events and don't ask why we do what we do. For instance, April 1st is one day that's set aside to destroy prank folks and pull practical jokes.

So today, before I go afooling, the question pops into my head, why is April 1st tagged April fools day? I mean, is it that all the fools convene on this day? Is it like their own special holiday or a day set aside to mark their exploits? Who are these fools BTW? I once came upon a joke about an atheist coming to the court of law to contest not having their own day since most religions of the world have theirs; Christmas, Sallah, Hannukah to mentíon but a few, and the judge responded that they already had their own day, April 1st because only a fool would say there's no God*. 

Anyway, my questions led me to my brainiac friend and companion, Google and it turns out that they also do not exactly know, lol. I mean, there are so many theories pertaining to this day. 

So according to Wiki, April 1st is sometimes called 'All Fools' Day' and was first brought into the limelight by a book written by Geoffrey Chaucer, 'The Canterbury Tales'. If you haven't read 'The Canterbury Tales', then please go do so and tell me all about it. Honestly, I found that book difficult to read. Still struggling with it.

So back to April 1st, there are different narratives as to its origin and that's saying a lot. There's no stand out reason as to how the day came about, nor how its name was derived and it's celebrated differently in different climes. For instance in the UK, pranks stop at 12 noon and anyone who attempts to pull a practical joke after then is the April fool.

In Poland, this is a day for creating elaborate hoax stories. Even the media chimes in. It's said that an alliance that was signed on the 1st of April by the Government had to be back dated in order to be taken seriously. Hmm, it's that serious over there.

Even though one can't exactly pinpoint its origins, advocates of this day believe it is good for the health as it 'encourages "jokes, hoaxes...pranks, [and] belly laughs", and brings all the benefits of laughter including stress relief and reducing strain on the heart.'

Crítics on the other hand believe it is '"creepy and manipulative", "rude", and "a little bit nasty", as well as based on schadenfreude* and deceit.'

For more, read here and here.

So that's that. I'm on the prowl for who to prank😈😈, lemme go plot.

Byeee 😘

*Psalm 14:1- The fool says in his heart, "There is no God."

*Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others

Photo Credits: Elephant Journal, Wonderopolis.

Once Upon a Wish

Once upon a time

I wished upon a well 
I wished for a job
Where I’d be paid kabillions without lifting a finger 
I wished for love, pure and sweet without the heartache   
I wished for painless and ish free human relationships
I wished for a tall dark and handsome man to fawn over me
I wished for a state of the art home in a highbrow area
Without the inconveniences that comes with building a home
I wished to have the perfect family and life
I wished to be successful
But not too successful
I wished to have a joyful life void of challenges 
I wished to be grown up and be my own person
I wished to have the wisdom of the sage sans life's hard lessons 
I wished for a stress free life 
I wished be taken seriously
But not too serious 
I wished to “settle” 
Now I wish to be free

What else do I wish for?
I wish…
What do I want?

A chuckle floats up the well with a soft voice saying 
"Child, you do not know what you wish for 
When the fish fly and birds swim 
When the grave belches its satisfaction 
And the fire cackles in satiation 
Then shall you have your wishes
Till then, get yourself another wishing well."

Photo Credit: Omoniyi David

A Personal Word

This morning, something happened that made me laugh and at the same time, shake head for myself and at the same time, gave me great insight. It had to do with condiments that remained from my cooking stew session–pepper and onions. I had left them in a plate in the open air so they don't spoil easily. 

You might ask, your fridge nko? Well, I asked myself that question too. Until last two weeks, I didn't have one so it was easy to forget that I now had a preservation system and took my normal route of preservation. The night before, I had already started contemplating whether or not to steam them since they were not going to be put to use anytime soon.

So, where's this my 'is and was' speech leading to? Well, when this happened what dropped in my mind was that as believers, this is is what we do too. When we enter into God's kingdom, we've been completely saved and the old things have passed, but we forget that. We forget that we've come into power and authority and carry on living like we used to.

We forget that the kingdom life’s entirely different from the self life. We keep struggling and forget to rely on His strength. We keep doing things the usual way forgetting that Christ's made things easier for us. Labouring under the law and forgetting that we're now operating in grace.

So, that was what popped into my mind seeing those pepper and onion lying there shrivelling while all the while, they could have been chilling in the fridge, perfectly been preserved.

May the good Lord help us.

Peace.

MMC: Office Politricks

It's a beautiful Monday ☺

It's a tough world out there made especially tougher without a good support system. In every human social gathering, you're most likely to meet the one that rubs you up the wrong way. How much more in a setting where you're stuck with each other on a daily basis, day in day out. I dunno about you but it can be tiring. Lord help you if there seems to be bad blood (even just a teeny one) in between, then welcome to hell (at least one of its versions).

And so, a beautiful Monday morning was nearly ruined by one of these encounters. Mindfulness is key I tell you, you need to try it.

I tire of the tricks and twists and the backbiting that seem to thrive in official settings. I don't get it. Can't we all be on the same team? (a naïve question, I know). It takes a lot of stamina to work in a politricking environment and bless your soul if you don't know the ropes. Bless your soul even more if you don't even want to learn the ropes.

Well, it’s Monday. Welcome to its turns and twists.

P.S: shout out to one of ours🙌; today's a special day for one of our contributors. Happy birthday to you (they prefer being anonymous, no idea why). We celebrate you, keep thriving🎂.

Peace.

Valentina gets her flowers

It's yet another valentine's day and this year, I feel like a reluctant celebrant. I doubt it's compulsory to celebrate val's day but, oh well, at least I made an effort (flying its colour, putting up that picture as my DP and yeah, this post). Although last year, I really was all feely feely about val's day. True, see here. Hopefully, I'll be in the mood later. 

Meanwhile, here's wishing you a happy val's day celebrations. Remember, God is love and re-remember not to drown yourselves in cheap thrills, they'll cost you aplenty, be wise. 

So, celebrants, hiders, neutrals and the down right anti-valentine folks, 1❤ 

Peace.

Miss Cally

Ah, Calabar my Calabar...I'll one day write a poem for you. There are few places you go where you can say home sweet home. For me, Calabar was one of those. You know how you meet certain people and you just have an instant connection? That's what happened between I and Cally. My dream city's what I call her. Going to Calabar was like coming home. I don't have any roots there sef but these things happen; inexplicable connection to places and people.

My mandatory one year service took me to Calabar and I was instantly hooked. Well, I took myself there cos I redeployed from my original state of service. I've loved Calabar from afar and it was one of the Nigerian cities I'd longed to visit, so when I saw the opportunity, I pounced on it.

KrossKopa

Jos is another place I'd like to also visit but seeing Calabar and living there's calmed my thirst. For now. You'd be surprised at my reasons for loving Cally, but love's love. There's a casualness to Cally that I like. Those people know how to take life easy. Oh, and they know how to enjoy life, like really enjoy it (story for another day).

Chilling after watching a match at the stadium. AFCON qualifier I think.

This match.

Everywhere I turned to, it was a park, more like a garden park, everywhere for chilling. Infact, it's a garden state. Every inch of ground's well tended and groomed. I'm sure it's serene environment's specially groomed to drive business. You know Cross River's known for its tourist attractions hence, everything has to work to promote the touristy feel. They did eat my money and made me spend more, but I didn't mind. Yeah, it's quite an expensive place to live in with limited employment/business opportunities (believe me, I tried getting a job). Most of the businesses there are concentrated in the hospitality industry. This again is due to the state's appellation as a destination spot for touristy tourists.

Entrance to my *PPA.

I really did enjoy Calabar. The people are friendly, cuisine's on point. I learnt how to eat white rice with pepper soup instead of tomatoes sauce by force. There's a dearth of tomatoes over there that's why (so I was told).

My *boli joint for when I couldn't bear to down white rice and pepper soup.

Not so clear but quite enjoyable. Especially liked the herbal leaves used, forgotten the name. It was slightly bitter. 

My journey to a healthy lifestyle started in Cally. I learnt to eat more fruits and veggies there. I even learnt to enjoy watermelon and cucumber. Two things I'd previously hated with passion. All my memories of Calabar are beautiful, thanks to amazing friends as well. I couldn't tour the *state as I'd intended due to financial constraints but I have no regrets.

And yes, I did make friends (surprise). They were that friendly and open too. They're not closed off like my Abuja people of which I'm one. Witnessed three weddings (could've been more) and turned down an offer to go for a burial ceremony (can't fit shout).

The view from my window, lol. Can't recall what festival. The road was later tarred and my ears heard it.

My stay in Cally was well worth it. It opened my eyes to the finer points of life. It's one aspect of my life I see as a major landmark.

I'm watching Jenifas's diary btw, and it's so frigging hilarious.

Well, what can I say? I had an awemazing service year in Cally and I promise to share more about it on my 5th year serviceverssary which will be June 2nd or is it 6th? I forget. Just stay tuned.💋

The pictures ain't exactly snazzy I know. Didn't have a blog and an audience in mind when I took them. Bear with me mbok.

*PPA: Primary Place of Assignment where during the mandatory one year service, you're attached to a School/Company/Organisation to give back to your Fatherland.
*Boli: Roasted Plantain
*Crossriver.

Dream Chasers

She's a dream chaser

No dream's too small or too big.

When I published this post, in my heart of hearts I knew the author was talking to me (dunno about you). It struck a cord deep down on the inside of me (that's not grammatically correct btw). I've always had my friends see my potential even before I see them, I dunno why. God's blessed me with an amazing set of people who are always looking out for me and for that I'm grateful. I do abuse the privilege sometimes Lord knows *coversface* but I'm glad to know that they've got my back anyday, anytime even over our long stretches of silence.

Yeah, I can be silent sometimes. Really silent. Were I to be a man, I'd be known as the strong and silent type (lol).

Once a friend knew about a particular skill set I possessed, the next thing would be them urging me to do something with it, go train it or walk it or whatever, don't just leave it idle.

I'm seated in my room and I ought to be asleep. I mean, sleep's practically crooning in my ears to come to my not so appealing bed but I want to put this down before I turn in.

If there's one thing I've realised is that our fears are just that. Fears. Groundless fears. Baseless fears. Ok, some might be based on something but that's not the point. The point is, even knowing that our fears are groundless, does that still change anything? No.

Most of us' got big dreams and huge awemazing ideas but fear keeps us caged in. It closes us in like a predator and we like the typical prey, turn tail and run.

I believe I'll elaborate on this post another day but one thing I want to say, it's advisable to remove yourself from the noise every once in a while. By noise, I mean anything that'll act as distraction to you meeting your goals.

I started something this year and I'm so thrilled. The signs were just too many to be ignored.

Having said that, I want to use this medium to encourage anyone with a dream; you've nursed it long enough, it's time to let it go forth.

Don't be afraid of failing; be afraid of not trying.

Photo Credit: Omoniyi David. That's a picture of my friend btw, she's a fashion designer; Secafitz. I love what that picture says to me. I'll gush about it another day, not today tonight.

Peace.

Hello 2017

Bless God for 2017 and all the goodies it has for us. Fresh into the year, we're saying welcome, welcome, welcome and we've got quite an eye opening piece from our guest author. We pray 2017 bring you all that your hearts desire and more. Enjoy.

***

I bring you greetings from 2017. Before I continue, let's take a brief review of 2016.

2016 ended amidst the Wizkid-Caesar slight. But first, the beginning. It arrived with the usual prophecies and breaking stories, expectations and of course, resolutions that if you ask me, went ignored even before the first week expired. It was filled with tons of drama and jaunty escapades in all the spheres of society; the football world, the political world, entertainment world and what have you, with their fair share of outrageous statements and outlandish behaviours. 

I dunno about you, but I sure learnt some lessons from these events. Also in the beginning was the carry over beef between Olamide and Don Jazzy's back-to-back comment over the 'Next Rated' award at the headies and that was all the social media could talk about with the 'coman get it' inspired memes flying upandan. 

Everybody keeps claiming someone else is '*egbon' to avoid taking responsibility and then pass the mantle of leadership and control to another. Whereas to be the next rated in the new year, we have to say to ourselves that I am the '*egbon' (boss). 

If we must succeed in 2017, we must make ourselves the bosses of our lives. It's not about arrogance but being matured enough to be responsible for yourself and your actions (or inactions as the case may be). A wise man once told me, "God's in control but he put man in charge." Not to lord it over everyone but to be his eyes, ears and hands here on Earth, watching over others, listening to their needs so I can be a helping hand. 

Back to 2016, the 'coman get it' drama was shortly followed by Davido's baby mama travails with uncle Momodu showing forth. 

Also  from 2016, was the rumble 'n' tumble of the U.S elections; filled with punches, scandals and alleged interference by the Russians. Surprisingly, the most embattled candidate won and would be inaugurated come 20th which goes to show that being the next rated, you don't have to play by the rules. You create your own  rules after all, you're on a battle field all by yourself. 

It is said that birds never clash in the sky. Not because they don't have same flight plans or travel same routes, but because there's room enough for them all. As for you, remember that you're in a battle field all by yourself.

Try pushing yourself beyond your limits. Push yourself against all odds. Push yourself beyond the contentions and opposition of your contenders because if you must succeed, you must be in a class all by yourself.

Strangely, from a 2016 where not many new fashion trends were put out, ladies still decided to go crazy with their combinations and I'm not talking about the colour blocking of 2015 but a combination of them all. All the way back to the '70's.

Instagram went bonkers not because of the pretty dresses but with the flooding of skits. These 3 minutes videos kept us (LOL) laughing out loud all through the year. Not that they've not always been there, but 2016 spot lit them.

Truth is, we've all got talents, skills and abilities but I guess we're waiting for someone to start but think on it, what if no one had started? What if there was never any stand-up comedian? What if there were no skits by Crazy Clown or Akanm D Boy saying "issokay, issokay"? Would the new fellas out there ever have recorded their skits if they'd waited? 

Quit waiting for others to start. God has blessed you with skills, as Obahiagbon puts it, "inherently ladened" to make you shine in your world which you won't unless you start.

Start something. Do something. Be something. Be remembered for something. Leave behind something. 

2017, learn from 2016. Be your own year. Create your own style. Do your own thing because, you're your own '*egbon'.

*As used in this context, it means boss.
Guest author

Photo Credit: Fotolia