Lil. Ms. Poochie

 

It was a gloomy day with dark clouds, a blistering wind and an even darker mood. I had refused every offer of warmth and obstinately set out in quest of my dog, little Ms. Poochie. Lil Ms. had never stayed out this long and I was beginning to worry. In spite of the cold and cough that wracked my tiny frame, I was determined to find her. You see, my lil Ms. had once saved me and now it was my turn to save her.

I was a lonely child, sad and bitter and angry with the world. I was the one to always get into trouble and always the one to bring home bad news. My tanta says I'm the harbinger of evil. Even at birth, I killed my own mother. How evil could I get?

Thus branded, I was careful to not do anything to draw attention to myself; I kept to myself and endeavoured to always be on my best behaviour but trouble always seemed to follow me around confirming tanta's opinion of me. I was desolate and devised several means to write off my life but I was too cowardly to follow through. And then one day, lil Ms. hobbled into my life. I took to her instantly. 

Like me, she had been battered and looked half starved. Her ear was torn and bleeding, I presumed she had been involved in a dog fight. You see, dogs like humans share a lot in common even though I sometimes think they're smarter, the big dogs pick on the smaller and weaker dogs. Now I know why they call it a dog-eat-dog world, that statement had always puzzled me.

Lil Ms. was my saviour in many ways, I learnt to know what it meant to be loved and to love, I learnt to laugh and to play (lil Ms. says I ought to play all day, that it's my right). Above all, I learnt to forgive.

One day, my tanta had beaten me for no good reason and banished me from her presence. I was forbidden to cry before her and so poured it all on poor lil Ms. I kicked at her and bawled out my eyes, I could tell that she was hurt with the way she looked at me just as she hobbled off.

I was sorry to see her go but was too mad to care. After I had calmed down, I went looking for her in all her favourite places; at the pond where she liked to bark at the ducks, at the flower bed where she pretended to be a pretty flower and at the churchyard where she liked to lie and gaze up at the sky, but she wasn't there.

Now I was worried, it would rain soon and I had yet to find lil Ms. My lil Ms. never liked rainstorms, they drove her crazy. I remember her restless pacing, how she used to whimper and howl, I must find her before the storm broke. I'm sorry lil Ms. Please come back.

Now I'm crying, the tears mingling with the rain. I was sorry I'd shouted at her and kicked her. I was sorry I had thrown stones at her. I was sorry I had treated her as my tanta had treated me. I was sorry for it all. I was even more sorry cos she didn't deserve it, she who had loved me with dog-like devotion, I'm sorry lil Ms.

*In loving memory of Cornell.

Photo Credits: Pentaxuser, Flickr.

The Myth of Happiness

When did being happy become an obsession?

From another's POV:

Happiness comes at a price.

Happiness is overrated.  

Happiness isn't meant for everyone.

It's impossible to always be happy.

Should I go on?

Well, I'll leave you to that.

For some, being happy does not come easy. They have to work at it and plan for it and try to pull it off in a flawless execution. Why because the happiness gurus say happiness is a way of life. You have to have a zing at all times and constantly walk on cloud nine at all times. You don't want to be seen amoody or acrying or asniffling for even a nano of a second. 

No, no, no, that won't do for the perfect little box they wanna place you in. Ridiculous if you ask me (but you aren't) and so you actively do and practice all that the gurus preach; happiness is in you; happiness is you; happiness is your neighbour; look inside of you; and if that doesn't succeed, you hear;

-Happiness is a purchase away;

-Get this new product and you'll be happy for life.

-Change your wardrobe and your whole life would change for the better.

-Upgrade your phone and you're on your way to been happy.

-Secure this contract and you're set for a happy life.

-Get this bigger house.

-Drive that bigger car.

Get more and more and more and do they succeed? A resounding no, rather, it takes you farther than you've ever gotten to in the doldrumming of life and lower than your lowest of lows because it took so much effort  to try to attain that zen. Or you did attain it but at a steep price or you didn’t because you just don’t know how to be happy.

It’s OK, no judgment here, but the desperate in heart would do anything.

Some have lost quite a lot in the pursuit of happiness. They were probably OK just trudging along living fine and dandy and then someone comes along and slaps a tag on some obscure word and before you know it, it has become some chic trendy go lucky slogan, tada!-be happy. 

Yeah, right.

If that's the kind of happy you're tryna sell to me; I shall be wanting no part of it.

Dear someone, rather than just come up with a gimmicky kinda word it’s better to allow your people to be their real selves, happy or not. I know of naturally moody people.

As an aside, can someone be so kind as to define happiness?

I know it’s strange, but try to understand that sometimes it's OK to be sad. It's OK to actually be down in the dumps. To whine and to groan and to snivel in the pity party you organised for yourself in your sad sorry state.

For a set of some, they don't bother as happiness has simply eluded them. Mayhaps, they did something in their past lives?

For yet another set of others, they've mastered the art of been happy come rain or sunshine. Don't you just envy them and won't you just like to know how they do it?

No? Ah, I see that hubris won't let you see, won't let you perceive, won't...oh well, those of you who have captured the quintessence of happiness and have perfected its art right down to a T, kudos to you. I'm highfiving myself on your behalf. Good for you. Now can you please come show the other others the kumbaya of your happy world?

Not that I envy you, nah, I don't envy Earthlings.

***

Uhm, while it was kinda funny writing this, in actuality, it isn't. There's a lot of sadness and bitterness out there and while it's quite understandable to say "don't worry, be happy" after all, a cheerful heart doeth good like medicine right? Lets also try to be realistic with our expectations. It's kinda sad to see what that beautiful word has been reduced to. It has been made out to be some happy go lucky charm (and I use that loosely). 

Oh well, what's my own? BTW, I dunno what literary style I adopted for this write up. It's all sort of weird to me. It is isn't it? Please do lemme know. I'm sorta experimenting with different writing styles. Lemme know what you think of this particular style and probably we'll come up with a name for it yeah? Would experimental project suffice? lol. I love to experiment and no, I'm no scientist. Go figure.  

MMC: New Beginnings

Ztembe absent-mindedly chewed on  her pen, her mind miles away. She was still trying to process the rude shock that had welcomed her when she walked into the office this morning.

What is wrong with Ochuko she asked yet again and with no small measure of anger. Why does he seem so set against me? Is it something I've done? Or haven't done?

Her meeting with Ochuko had been doomed from the very beginning. It had become obvious that like oil and water, so was it to be with She and Ochuko. Time seemed to fade and Ztembe saw herself just as she'd been when she'd first resumed work.

***

She'd been running late and knew it wasn't going to make for a good first impression for her first day at work. It was bad enough that she'd barely made it through the interview process as someone had snottily confided to her that she'd been thought to be too forward.

Too forward ke? What did that even mean? She remembered thinking, but she wanted so bad to make a good first impression with her colleagues especially now that quasi management already had her pegged. And so with that in mind, she hurried into the building only to run headlong into a brick wall (or so she thought).

***

A sigh escapes her lips. Ztembe, all these thinking will get you nowhere she chides herself but she can't shake herself loose from memory's clutch.

***

"Are you blind?" Ochuko angrily asks.
Ztembe still caught off balance and trying to recover from her near fall was momentarily speechlesss. Not at the question but at his manners.
"Oh, I see you're dumb as well", he continued still glowering at her.
"I...er...I'm sorry, I didn't-", Ztembe managed to stutter before she was rudely cut off.
"Be sorry for yourself". He shot her another look and stalked off.

Now wearing an identical look, she wondered what had gotten stuck in his craw. She'd always heard how Monday made even the most nicest of people irritable but now she wasn't so sure. Hearing was different from seeing and she didn't like this baptism of fire.

***

If only I knew what I know now she thought, I'd have antagonised him less. Whatever she might have thought about Ochuko, one thing was certain, she wouldn't underestimate him.

Frank Friday: Ramblings, Mutterings and What Nots

Gosh, I feel so fagged out. I laughed long and loud in my head at that expression. The last time I used that was in my secondary school days. Oh those were the days. We had a variety of slangs at our disposal that our speech never lost its flavoured touch.

There was never a boring gist. Whose gist would be boring when one had such an arsenal of northern spiced slangs to choose from? Now I'm "irin feeling tech" lol (only my school mates will relate with this).

All of my life, I've stayed in the north and though I don't speak the language, I'm much more northerner than southerner (is that correct? My head's kinda fuddled right now).

It's been a tedious week and I'm undergoing a spell of laziness with this blog. No, I don't think it's laziness, I don't just have enough energy to expend on it right now I think. Will be back with a bounce I promise. Once I'm done figuring out my life that is. I'm always having to figure out my life I don't understand again o, shuo. Am I alone in this? Anyways, just promise you'll wait for me? *batseyelashes* tashakor.

Cheers...

Photo Credit: Nil

(Of course it'd be nil. Did you see any photo there?) Lol

Sunday Special: Journal of a Missionary Wife 𐌠𐌠𐌠

Breathe in, breathe out, yes, that's it Ana. It's been one hectic day, haven't had a breather since my 4 am abrupt jerk out of sleep.

Geoff had been the first to hear it, the screams. He'd been going over his sermon when he thought he'd heard screaming, it was muffled at first but then intensified and that was when I woke up.

You won't believe this, but I felt anger first cos I was having a lovely dream. I dreamt that I was at a Park playing with a lil' girl. Could this be a sign Lord? Sometimes though, like this morning, I feel I'm too selfish, Lord only knows why he called me to be a Missionary's wife. I feel so unworthy, I find myself falling short too many times. He qualifies the called I know...but it's so hard.

So, it turns out the screaming was a laughing hyena, can You believe it? After the anguish it made me pass through? No wonder the locals weren't to be bothered when the screaming first broke out. I'd never have associated that scream with laughter, all the more reason to get out of here soonest.

They say every once in a while, they (hyenas) scream that way to attract persons to kill. It had happened before and some unsuspecting person would rush out, thinking someone was in distress only to fall victim to these rabid vile creatures.

One can't be too careful these days. I wonder if I should tell Geoff of my conversation with Numi? No, he has enough on his plate right now. My sweet looks more and more drawn these days, Lord help him. Who'd have thought there was more to been a missionary than teaching the Word? Laughs.

I'm so tired diary, so tired but in a good way.

Take charge Lord.

Photo Credit: Source

MMC: A Surprise

What to do when you don't feel like working but you have to? Dump the workload on your sub Ztembe thought.

plotting her next move

Her week had started out splendidly well and she wasn't so surprised as it had cost her an arm and leg to make it so. She had spent the previous weekend at a spiritual-spa-yoga-meditation-relaxation centre.

She wasn't so sure what to call it, hence the funny connections. Should you happen to ask her what it was, she'd go, "it's kinda like a spa but not a spa where we try to connect with our inner selves right after we do the whole zen thing and perform the yoga thingy." In a nutshell, she had no idea what the establishment was about only that it had come highly recommended from a friend.

This funny establishment was where our dear Ztembe had spent the weekend in an almost semi concious relaxed haze.

As she had been taught that the first work day set the tone for the rest of the week, she was determined to take things easy.

If I should encounter Ochuko, make that when, I'd smile and keep it moving. Easy does it Ztembe, easy does it.

With a bright smile on her face and sugar coated nothings on the tip of her tongue, she waltzes into the office and comes to a halt...
Monday had its own plans after all. What do you think it was?

                                                 ***

MMC shall be taking a short break and upon its return, the surprise shall be unveiled.

Have a great week ya'll.=)

Photo Credit: Google 

Frank Friday: Update

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the feedback. Tashakor. I didn't know I was making sense but why oh why would you not drop them here? Feedback that is. I don't get it. Isn't it much easier? Okay, I'm done ranting. I appreciate that ya'll take the time to actually visit, I'm humbled.

So, certain someones have prompted my doing an update on this post. I've needed to clarify a few things. Not everyone can do what I did (I'm not even asking anyone to do anything) cos we're not all in the same circumstance(s) neither are we cut from the same cloth. I've had some people say I made it sound so easy. Seriously? Did you read that post at all? There was nothing easy about that decision. Heck, I was terribly terrified (see? Terribly terrified). It was no mean feat I pulled back then, uhuh. Especially in this clime of ours where we've been fed the half bread's better than none and a Bird in hand's worth...yada, yada, yada advice one time too many.

Manage, the common man's anthem (that's actually a post on its own). So, no it wasn't easy but was it worth it? In Les Brown's voice, it was worth it alright?

So, here goes nothing. Yup, nothing 'cos I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm literally flying by the seat of my pants (go figure).

For anyone that wants to try this (again, I don't even advise you to, double standard much?) be absolutely, unconfoundedly sure 'cos my dear, you ain't going to enjoy the experience unless you're a sloth. I hear they don't do much. I was at the end of my tether so to speak, when I made that decision.

Secondly, make sure you have a plan B in case things don't go quite so well. If possible have a plan in all the alphabets, you don't want to be stranded like this little man:

Thirdly, don't let anyone guilt trip you into thinking you made a mistake (unless you did indeed make a mistake). It's not their happiness or health or advancement or career growth or whatever it is that's making you leave, at stake. I think I should insert here that you should clearly evaluate your reason(s) for leaving. Is it something that can actually be corrected, modified, addressed? You get my drift. We don't want you running off and then two weeks down you suffer from the had-i-known syndrome, nope, that wouldn't do. So assess, assess, assess your reason(s) & option(s).

Also, it's advisable to have some pocket money tucked away somewhere. It should be enough to see you through the wait. You'd have to cut down on your budget, a lot of things would have to go and you & the ones around you would or might feel the pinch. Depends on the wait.

For me, the first thing to go was impulse buying. I'm big at that. If it wasn't absolutely necessary, no deal. I'm learning the hard way. Yes, learning 'cos it's still WIP (Work In Progress).

Basically, that's it. Be sure it's not the evil forces in your villa that are pushing your buttons before you leap. Have your options staked out from A-Z if need be. Avoid those guilt trippers biko 'cos that's exactly what they are. They send you off on guilt trips all by yourself and they almost all don't turn out well. Make sure to have a lil' something (cash) that'll hold till the tide washes over (no brainer there).

So, did I miss anything?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime.

P.S: If you don't look anything like the smiling guy in the first image, then, you're probably making a mistake. Think it through.

I Have An Axe to Grind...

...so as do you.

I'm sorry, what were you expecting? Lol. It's a slow day for me and I was just Idly wondering about idioms, idiomatic expressions. I wonder where that word was coined from cos were I to translate literally or give it my best shot I'd call them idiotic expressions. But hey, let's be honest, some do sound idiotic don't they? Especially when you reason them quite literally e.g flying by the seat of one's pants, its meaning is so far off flying and pants.

Indeed

Ironically, it's the same way with grammatically correct speech. Speaking correct English (like really, pronunciations on fleek, stress points flawlessly pulled off et al) sounds incorrect. You say the right thing and then do a double check like, wait, is that correct? Take this sentence for instance; "It's high time we left" or its variant, "It's time we left." I bet you, there are people who will argue from now till high noon that it's incorrect. It does sound incorrect sef.

I could go on and on with this language called English. It has always fascinated me and was my fave subject that year-dunno about now.

Well, I'm done fascinating, no be my language. Thanks for dropping by, bye. *grins*

Photo Credit: Google

MMC: A Case for Monday

Hi friends, as a wee bit of reminder;

"Monday Moaners' Club (MMC) is a series of short - really short - stories loosely based on the grief all some of us seem to feel whenever Monday rolls round armed with tons of work."

Enjoy its new episode. 

                                  *** 

"Court," the orderly tries to bring order back into the rowdy room, “Court," he shouts again. The judge bangs his gavel and this time the room quiets down. “Call in the next case," he says to the registrar. 

This particular case from the onset had been a very interesting one, the People vs: Monday, he couldn't wait to hear the defendant's testimony.

"I call upon Mr. Grouch," the orderly declares.

A big grumpy man makes his way noisily to the witness stand. He answers some questions and having undertaken the oath to speak the truth, the proceedings continue. The next witness, Monday is called upon and takes the stand.

"Mr. Monday, you stand accused of sleep thiefery, doldrumming, traffic jams, forceful sobriety, cold showers and hurried breakfasts among several other counts. How plead you?"

"Not guilty my lord."

The judge looks at him askance and he goes on to elaborate.

"My lord you see, human beigns are creatures of habit, circumspect beings and if they aren't pushed, they won't attain their peak. I'm the first day of the working week hence it falls upon me to make sure they hit the ground running as that'll set the pace for the rest of my colleagues, I make it easy for them. Should I fail, the rest of the days would be a flop until flouncy Friday comes along to take them for a fun ride. The mess thereafter is left for me to clean up and I cannot fail my superiors now can I?"

Though he wasn't found guilty, he wasn't acquitted either. So I leave it to you readers, is Monday as bad as he is made out to be?

Have a stress free week ya'll...

Peace.

Photo Credit: Google.

More Like Flu Friday

Hello to you, 

It's been a flu-tastic week & my hanky's been my must have accessory & faithful companion this past few days. It's the peak of the raining season and it's beginning to take its toll on me. The fact that I got drenched one time didn't help. I love the Rain but I don't appreciate been drenched especially if I didn't plan for it.

I hate been sick (duh, I guess no one likes it) it just has a way of making one feel so useless helpless & life sucks when you're ill...Everything just feels awful (a transfer of feelings I suppose) cause nothing changed.

Well, I decided to check in. Monday Moaners Club will be resuming on Monday by God's grace. Don't be like me, stay flu-free.
Bleary-eyed....
Back to my sneezarathon...
Song playing in the background: 'Cold' by Aqualung & Lucy Schwartz.