Turtle Soup

Gloria Gaynor's 'I will Survive' usually does the trick but not this time. No, not this time. My mantra of recent (I keep switching 'em) has been 'The just shall shall live by their faith'. It just keeps going round and round in my head not that I'm complaining, no. 

So, my actual reason for coming out of a semi vacay is 'cos of the  news my lil' birds have been bringing. With all I've heard so far this maxim neatly wraps up what I'm been told: 

when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

That said, I have good news. All that's going on with the economy, fuel subsidy, price hikes et al is for good. Eh? Someone's wondering if they read correctly, yes you did. Business moguls - or should I say experts? - say it is at times like this great opportunities present themselves (for my business oriented people, shine ya eyes). This is the time some of my friends will hammer (come into good fortune). Thou knoweth thyselves.

I was glad (with reason) when all these changes began I was forced to give up on certain unhealthy habits like my love for snacks and pick up healthy ones, long walks. Before I purchase a snack, boy, I reason it well. Ain't got that kinda cash to throw around no more. You feeling me? Hahaha. But really, desperate times call for desperate measures.

For me personally, it has been a great time for my experiments to thrive (I'm big on DIYs) and has opened up alternative means of getting things done (does multipurpose ring a bell)? For example, let's start with:

Food: I've found that so much I thought I couldn't do without, I can actually do without and have found new uses for food items that I once undermined.

Beauty regime: back to the basics biko. I never knew I had an Aloe Vera plant in my house (ok, I did know, but never paid it any mind) until I ran out of cleanser (ladies, I hope you're reading in between the lines).

Transportation: I hear carpooling's great but I wouldn't know 'cos my car's yet to arrive (on the high seas *wink*). So for those of us still hopping buses, it's not for every mileage you need to board a vehicle (truth be told), there's a reason some are called 'walking distance'. Work those muscles.

The US passed through a great depression once upon a time and history has it down as one of the dreariest of times - I shudder to think of what went down in that period - that I daresay has made them the formidable nation that they are today. What we're passing through now is beans compared to that. My advise for the time being, would be to buckle those belts, hold tight, sit tight and try not to fall off 'cos it's gonna be one helluva ride.

Meanwhile, I cannot logically explain why that title for this post 'Turtle Soup' but I have this feeling that I do know why.

So pretty please do share, what lifestyle changes have you had to make with all that's going on?

Photo Credit; PicsyMag

Frank Friday: A Selfish Decision

Hi there. So, it's Frank Friday and I'll be sharing a bit of myself. You know, the bit that's not so put together, the bit that I get to cover with a false sense of bravado on a daily basis, lol. We've all got those bits.

So here's what we'll do, I share, you share, we all share. And what are we sharing? Not PMS o, haha, I know it's scarce and all (a sad development) but we'll be sharing that part of us that's hidden from the world. Where we nurse our fears and uncertainties but please, nurse them no more for no good'll come off that. 

So, here's me opening the show, let's call it a launch of this Frank Friday Series shall we? ;)
***
When I announced my decision to resign from my job, many thought I had taken leave of my senses, that I had gone gaga, nuts, cray cray, cuckoo. Who ups and leaves a job when you haven't gotten a replacement *points finger at self*, that's who. 

But I held fast. Not for me, but for my progeny (more for me) lol. What will I tell them down the years when they find themselves in a similar situation? Oh wait, I'd say "my dear, I was once in your shoe but I did manage so, manage." No, I won't do that to them.

Manage, the common man's song.  That I was in a job that was detrimental to me and I couldn't quit for fear of what people might say or think? I wasn't happy on the job, I knew it and it was obvious. Yet I lingered. Why? Fear. It is indeed true that we are the ones holding ourselves back from greatness. Society has drummed it into our heads to manage, to make do with what we have and as Fela put it "suffering and smiling." I've come to loathe that word, manage.

Hear what someone has to say about this;

“Imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy then gives them the drugs to take away their unhappiness...Instead of removing the conditions that make people depressed modern society gives them antidepressant drugs. In effect antidepressants are a means of modifying an individual's internal state in such a way as to enable him to tolerate social conditions that he would otherwise find intolerable.” 

― Theodore J. Kaczynski

See? The society has conditioned us so much so that we tolerate the otherwise intolerable out of fear. What are we so afraid of I wonder? Personally, I sometimes feel that I limit myself way too much...

Too much so. 

And so, it was with a strong sense of resolve I woke up one day to say, enough's enough and believe you me, it had a liberating effect on me. It was like taking power back from whoever or whatever I had given it to. I felt alive and in charge. And that's just the first step of my self-empowerment.

Now, I didn't arrive at that decision without my fair share of doubt, worries, anxieties and double checking to be doubly sure that I was making the right decision. To be sure, it was a selfish decision, I believe I'm allowed to act selfishly every once in a while. And do I regret the decision???

Hell no!

So, enough's enough. Life's for the living, breathe...

Photo Credit: Google

Socioquette: Ps & Qs

Social niceties? Nah, not my thing. Tactical diplomacy? Uh uh, I'm bereft of that too. Small talk? Good heavens, no please, I'm fundamentally lacking in that aspect. So what social etiquette am I good at? Why, my Ps & Qs of course, the basics, the little courtesies, I don't joke with them and that's why it rubs me off the wrong way when people take them for granted -the little foxes that spoil the vine. In this instance, it's these often overlooked courtesies that kill would-be profitable relationships.

What would it hurt and who would it kill to say please and/or thank you? Nothing and no one. Most likely thing it may hurt might be your ego, just a wee bruise at that. Like seriously people, let's not overlook these little things.

Admittedly, I may not be so good at making small talk (some refer to it as 'polite conversation') hence some busybody some ones might leave with the impression that I'm stuck up. You see, that may be true cos my tongue actually gets stuck when it comes to social interactions -making small talk. It just refuses to untie itself from my mouth -even after meeting one baba who gave me some words to chew to aid in its loosening, to no avail, e no gree work- and you'd have noticed that if you weren't busy taking offence at my supposed 'coldness'.

Where have we missed it? Who, what, where is to blame. Society? Technology? Imperialism? (No, that's far fetched), something ought to be done and fast. A reorientation's highly needed and possibly, finishing schools like we had in the Victorian era be set up again.

Please, we shouldn't forget this little courtesies that were groomed into us as children in the name of I'm a boss, I'm a supervisor, I'm the president, no. It ought not be so, it reeks of bad manners, simple. So because the other person's a persona non grata, s/he's not deserving of the basics? Let's go back to the drawing board cos this has passed be careful.

Photo Credit: Google

Babysitting the Phone

It was the height of boredom, the lowest of spirits and the laziest of days that made me sit by my phone. Waiting for it to ring, to beep, to do anything. Just one beep, one sound I silently plead. 

Within, I brace myself, breath held willing for the phone to do something; anything. With the situation I found myself in, I was willing and ready to take anything-or so I thought-as self-validation, to show that I was important, I was loved, I was missed. That I was cherished and highly treasured.

So sat me by the phone all day.
Waiting.
Hoping.
Pleading.
Wishing.

“Ring, ring” cries the phone. This jerks me out of my thoughts - deep, deep thoughts. Finally, I crow with delight, feeling pleased with my wishing skills (my genie’s the best). It is with joy that I pick the call. But wait! Who calls? 

It’s a network call, advertising their decent call tariffs. I sigh and begin the long wait all over. At least, the phone did ring even if it was only my network provider trying to rip me off. Oh well, I was remembered I console myself.

Photo Credit: ijustmetme

My Dream

This is the Nigeria of my dream.

A Nigeria where a pretty young lady can afford a comfortable lifestyle without being labeled an aristo/call girl/runs girl.

A Nigeria where one's lifestyle's choice isn't questioned, where one can stay single for as long as desired without society calling names and making up stories about the reason for that and intimating that something must be wrong with you else you should be hitched by now.

A Nigeria where I can walk to the park without being harassed/tackled by touts and nearly brought down.

A Nigeria where I am free to be me in all my weird glory; a deviant, an anomaly, strange and different and be relatively safe.

A Nigeria where I can freely talk about my faith/beliefs without being labelled a religious bigot/fanatic.

A Nigeria where I can speak grammatically correct and sound English without being labellled an efico/show off/forming.

A Nigeria where I can trust my neighbor to watch my back. 

A Nigeria where the dissenting voices are patiently given listening ears in view of resolving issues

A Nigeria where every naturally endowed fair skinned lady isn’t attributed to skin bleaching toning. Where I make healthy lifestyle choices without being labeled a health fad junkie.

A Nigeria where I prefer my own company without being considered haughty and proud; a snob.

A Nigeria where I am recognized by merit.
Where I can be gainfully employed based on my skills and not by who I know ('connections').

A Nigeria where a young man’s wealth acquisition is attributed to the dividends of hard work and not 'yahoo'/nefarious activities.

A Nigeria where I chose to be my own woman and not called a failure because I have neither husband nor child.

A Nigeria where I can walk down the street poker faced without random strangers asking me to smile because pretty girls ought to smile more.

A Nigeria where friendship(s) with opposite sexes exist without speculations running rife.

A Nigeria where I am not shouted down because my opinions differ from my neighbor’s.        

A Nigeria where I write this down and not have hastily drawn conclusions about my person.

This, is the Nigeria of my dream. 
And then some more.

Photo Credit: Google

Managing Expectations

I have learnt from experience that the only way to avoid been disappointed is to expect nothing from no one. Expectations are breeding grounds for disappointments which in turn produces resentment and bitterness (should they be unmet) in varying degrees depending on how one longed for such expectations to be met. 

Source 

Blues...

Gosh, like Alex I was going to say "what a terrible,  horrible, no good, very bad day," but Les Brown's taught me to refer to such days as character building days :) and of course, I'm not Alex.

I've been bombarded with quite a lot of character building days of late and I'm begging crying, enough already and this is is where I say...wait for it, wait, wait...

"Thank God it's Fridayyy!!!" Whew.

This week was so far from being nice to me abi the love sharing ended with Vals day? No na. Talking about Valentine, it's finally come and gone. How was it? Did anything special? Everyday should be valentine mbok, I'm in dire need of some special loving.

I'm freeeeeee...@least for now, lol

But come to think of it, is this a way the Universe' telling me to get out of the blue collared job and do my own thing? I doubt it.

Universe, is that you? Can you please be more clear and specific as it's not by throwing these challenges my way you'd get me to listen.

I'm so proud of how I've handled them so far though I've had some not so proud moments -tantrum throwing, impulsive crying, sullenness- hmm, in retrospect,  I've not exactly done so well but I'm getting there.

So, how do you handle your "character building days"? On another note, how do you handle difficult persons as well?

Image Credit: Google 

In the name of Love

Love's in the air.
On cupid's wings it rides.
Everywhere.
Love.
In our sleeping.
In our dreaming.
In our waking hours.
It hovers.
No thanks a little.
To St. Valentine's mettle.

Source
P.S, I totally dig cheesy :)

Yasssss😁, it's that time again, that season, where we get to pull a fast one with the term 'love' - and by 'we', I mean you cos I'm absolutely, completely, undeniably innocent of any wrong doing😜.

It's Valentine's Day and the 'L' word gets to have a comeback, to have its turn in the spotlight. It will be dragged out despite its protests of the timing not being right, bandied around, coerced, cajoled and even threatened - but it won't go extinct I assure you.

Oh poor love, now I understand why you hover, you're anxious. I am too because sadly, much atrocities will be done in your name. However, that doesn't take away from the fact that you're beautiful and worth celebrating. Feb 14th is much touted as lovers' day - though I wonder, why not Nov 6th?- and vigorously celebrated but it shouldn't end there, it ought transcend the limits of a day because it's special.

Love is beyond been tucked away and preserved for specials occasions like that dress you've got hanging in your closet which you've never worn because that special occasion's still to arrive. Every day's a special occasion in case you don't know or you've forgotten. But I digress, love ought to be an everyday act, a conscious effort on our parts. The sad thing however's that it'll be everywhere but where it ought to be, our hearts. For as much as we confess love, we also should try to show it, there's a great divide between confession and expression. But what do I know?

Mopey Happy Valentine's day ya'll😀.

P.P.S, it's all about this

Self love
Source

I Don't Know!!!

Hey people,

I know it's the first week of the Valentine's Month (yup, some persons are counting down in case you aren't) and I'm pretty sure you'd be expecting content of like nature but I can't. I just can't. I mean what's wrong with me?

Let's hope that the Valentine spirit comes upon me soon, else...but enough about Valentine, I want to share something that's had me bothered for a while now. Growing up, my favourite answer to any question, read, disturbance was "I don't know." It was my go to answer for whenever I needed to be left alone, my default mode. You see, I wasn't exactly a talker, I was more given to mince words. Getting me to talk was like trying to extract a confession from a guilty person.

I quickly discovered that pulling the I-don't-know card was the quickest way to end a conversation. By and by, I was set on a roll. That is, until it expired as everything has an ending.

Transitioning into adulthood, I realised that my fail safe answer wasn't going to cut it for me because as an adult, you're expected to know things or at least have an idea about things. 

Now, I'm not in anyway trying to glorify ignorance, by all means go to school and be enlightened but is it really compulsory to know everything? Can't I just be allowed to remain in my blissful state of ignorance? Can't I be allowed to say I don't know every once in a while? I mean, adulthood comes with a lot of responsibilities (I doff my hat to parents) what, with pulling a 9-5 job, battling traffic, dealing with antsy staff/colleagues, coming back home to deal with the children, house chores and a host of other stuff. Tell me shouldn't  adulthood of itself be termed a full-time  job? And then you're expected to top that off by being omniscient, please.

I find adulthood tiring sometimes (really), but would I want to exchange it for ice cream? Heck no. I love my freedom too much for that.

With life tugging at you from all sides demanding answers, when is it okay to say I don't know?

"Now that you've graduated what next?" I don't know.

"Ah corper, you have finished? So what next na?" I don't know.

"Now that you've gotten a job, what next?" I don't know.
"Ehn, your sister's married when are we coming for yours?" I don't know.

It's okay not to know everything especially if you know the One who knows, sees and hears everything. 

It's very much okay to sometimes look at yourself in the mirror and admit to not having all the answers. 

It's very much okay to look life in the eye and state emphatically, I don't know!!!

So, when is it okay to actually admit to not knowing a thing? Should it be a thing of shame to actually not know stuff? Who's to blame in propagating this know-it-all mentality?

The truth is, we can't know it all. Make peace with that.

I'd like to hear your thoughts, don't be shy in hitting the comment section.

Photo Credit: Google