Burning Bush and Other Stories

On a certain road trip, I came across a scene -a long forgotten practice that put a smile on my face- bush burning. Not just any bush burning, bush burning with the intent of killing Rats, Rabbits, Grasscutters and any/all unfortunate resident(s) of a bush. All these are what we refer to as bush meat, a delicacy. If you haven't eaten bush meat, I wonder for you.

So, I saw this teenagers (boys of course, they're the hunters) armed with their sticks in a semi circle, ready to deal a deadly blow to any unfortunate victim that comes running out. Now I wonder if I felt sorry for the hapless creatures back in the days when I participated in this hunting expeditions. Ok, I didn't participate in the hunting per se but I did watch (from a safe distance), so I was more or less a passive participant lol. At least, I wasn't part of the welcome party. Those were the ones who stayed back home but wanted part of the goodies.

I spent a growing up part of my years in a barrack. So when word made the rounds that the neighbourhood boys were going ahunting, I also made haste to catch up with them. This was the closest I came to a hunting experience and boy oh boy did I enjoy it. The thrill and the excitement of the chase, I feel I'd have ruptured in sheer delight should I have been an active participant cos these feelings alone came from mere observing.

They set a portion of the bush on fire and then position themselves around the periphery. Sticks, Clubs, Hoes (anything capable of delivering a sure blow) held high waiting for the helpless creatures fleeing uncertain death and into seemingly safety, but instead, into the arms of certain death.

Now, uncertain death in the sense that they may have had a 50-50 chance of survival if only by burrowing or just staying put. But you know animals, instead, they panick and run into the waiting arms and weapons of mass destruction the boys (survival instincts though, sheesh).

Sometimes, we humans do this too. When things aren't going so well; our fortunes change or something like that, we panick and then make wrong decisions that only puts us into bigger trouble. From frying pan into the fire, remember that saying? It's best to remain put, waiting out the storm while scoping out your options. But some of us just can't wait, I know. I struggle with waiting too but waiting's an essential part of life. You'd be surprised at what it births.

I don't think I'd enjoy such sport again. But seeing those boys and the burning bush just brought back the memories.

P.S: Panick=Panic.

Photo Credit: Africa Geographic Magazine

Frank Friday: A Selfish Decision

Hi there. So, it's Frank Friday and I'll be sharing a bit of myself. You know, the bit that's not so put together, the bit that I get to cover with a false sense of bravado on a daily basis, lol. We've all got those bits.

So here's what we'll do, I share, you share, we all share. And what are we sharing? Not PMS o, haha, I know it's scarce and all (a sad development) but we'll be sharing that part of us that's hidden from the world. Where we nurse our fears and uncertainties but please, nurse them no more for no good'll come off that. 

So, here's me opening the show, let's call it a launch of this Frank Friday Series shall we? ;)
***
When I announced my decision to resign from my job, many thought I had taken leave of my senses, that I had gone gaga, nuts, cray cray, cuckoo. Who ups and leaves a job when you haven't gotten a replacement *points finger at self*, that's who. 

But I held fast. Not for me, but for my progeny (more for me) lol. What will I tell them down the years when they find themselves in a similar situation? Oh wait, I'd say "my dear, I was once in your shoe but I did manage so, manage." No, I won't do that to them.

Manage, the common man's song.  That I was in a job that was detrimental to me and I couldn't quit for fear of what people might say or think? I wasn't happy on the job, I knew it and it was obvious. Yet I lingered. Why? Fear. It is indeed true that we are the ones holding ourselves back from greatness. Society has drummed it into our heads to manage, to make do with what we have and as Fela put it "suffering and smiling." I've come to loathe that word, manage.

Hear what someone has to say about this;

“Imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy then gives them the drugs to take away their unhappiness...Instead of removing the conditions that make people depressed modern society gives them antidepressant drugs. In effect antidepressants are a means of modifying an individual's internal state in such a way as to enable him to tolerate social conditions that he would otherwise find intolerable.” 

― Theodore J. Kaczynski

See? The society has conditioned us so much so that we tolerate the otherwise intolerable out of fear. What are we so afraid of I wonder? Personally, I sometimes feel that I limit myself way too much...

Too much so. 

And so, it was with a strong sense of resolve I woke up one day to say, enough's enough and believe you me, it had a liberating effect on me. It was like taking power back from whoever or whatever I had given it to. I felt alive and in charge. And that's just the first step of my self-empowerment.

Now, I didn't arrive at that decision without my fair share of doubt, worries, anxieties and double checking to be doubly sure that I was making the right decision. To be sure, it was a selfish decision, I believe I'm allowed to act selfishly every once in a while. And do I regret the decision???

Hell no!

So, enough's enough. Life's for the living, breathe...

Photo Credit: Google

Socioquette: Ps & Qs

Social niceties? Nah, not my thing. Tactical diplomacy? Uh uh, I'm bereft of that too. Small talk? Good heavens, no please, I'm fundamentally lacking in that aspect. So what social etiquette am I good at? Why, my Ps & Qs of course, the basics, the little courtesies, I don't joke with them and that's why it rubs me off the wrong way when people take them for granted -the little foxes that spoil the vine. In this instance, it's these often overlooked courtesies that kill would-be profitable relationships.

What would it hurt and who would it kill to say please and/or thank you? Nothing and no one. Most likely thing it may hurt might be your ego, just a wee bruise at that. Like seriously people, let's not overlook these little things.

Admittedly, I may not be so good at making small talk (some refer to it as 'polite conversation') hence some busybody some ones might leave with the impression that I'm stuck up. You see, that may be true cos my tongue actually gets stuck when it comes to social interactions -making small talk. It just refuses to untie itself from my mouth -even after meeting one baba who gave me some words to chew to aid in its loosening, to no avail, e no gree work- and you'd have noticed that if you weren't busy taking offence at my supposed 'coldness'.

Where have we missed it? Who, what, where is to blame. Society? Technology? Imperialism? (No, that's far fetched), something ought to be done and fast. A reorientation's highly needed and possibly, finishing schools like we had in the Victorian era be set up again.

Please, we shouldn't forget this little courtesies that were groomed into us as children in the name of I'm a boss, I'm a supervisor, I'm the president, no. It ought not be so, it reeks of bad manners, simple. So because the other person's a persona non grata, s/he's not deserving of the basics? Let's go back to the drawing board cos this has passed be careful.

Photo Credit: Google

Managing Expectations

I have learnt from experience that the only way to avoid been disappointed is to expect nothing from no one. Expectations are breeding grounds for disappointments which in turn produces resentment and bitterness (should they be unmet) in varying degrees depending on how one longed for such expectations to be met. 

Source 

In the name of Love

Love's in the air.
On cupid's wings it rides.
Everywhere.
Love.
In our sleeping.
In our dreaming.
In our waking hours.
It hovers.
No thanks a little.
To St. Valentine's mettle.

Source
P.S, I totally dig cheesy :)

Yasssss😁, it's that time again, that season, where we get to pull a fast one with the term 'love' - and by 'we', I mean you cos I'm absolutely, completely, undeniably innocent of any wrong doing😜.

It's Valentine's Day and the 'L' word gets to have a comeback, to have its turn in the spotlight. It will be dragged out despite its protests of the timing not being right, bandied around, coerced, cajoled and even threatened - but it won't go extinct I assure you.

Oh poor love, now I understand why you hover, you're anxious. I am too because sadly, much atrocities will be done in your name. However, that doesn't take away from the fact that you're beautiful and worth celebrating. Feb 14th is much touted as lovers' day - though I wonder, why not Nov 6th?- and vigorously celebrated but it shouldn't end there, it ought transcend the limits of a day because it's special.

Love is beyond been tucked away and preserved for specials occasions like that dress you've got hanging in your closet which you've never worn because that special occasion's still to arrive. Every day's a special occasion in case you don't know or you've forgotten. But I digress, love ought to be an everyday act, a conscious effort on our parts. The sad thing however's that it'll be everywhere but where it ought to be, our hearts. For as much as we confess love, we also should try to show it, there's a great divide between confession and expression. But what do I know?

Mopey Happy Valentine's day ya'll😀.

P.P.S, it's all about this

Self love
Source

I Don't Know!!!

Hey people,

I know it's the first week of the Valentine's Month (yup, some persons are counting down in case you aren't) and I'm pretty sure you'd be expecting content of like nature but I can't. I just can't. I mean what's wrong with me?

Let's hope that the Valentine spirit comes upon me soon, else...but enough about Valentine, I want to share something that's had me bothered for a while now. Growing up, my favourite answer to any question, read, disturbance was "I don't know." It was my go to answer for whenever I needed to be left alone, my default mode. You see, I wasn't exactly a talker, I was more given to mince words. Getting me to talk was like trying to extract a confession from a guilty person.

I quickly discovered that pulling the I-don't-know card was the quickest way to end a conversation. By and by, I was set on a roll. That is, until it expired as everything has an ending.

Transitioning into adulthood, I realised that my fail safe answer wasn't going to cut it for me because as an adult, you're expected to know things or at least have an idea about things. 

Now, I'm not in anyway trying to glorify ignorance, by all means go to school and be enlightened but is it really compulsory to know everything? Can't I just be allowed to remain in my blissful state of ignorance? Can't I be allowed to say I don't know every once in a while? I mean, adulthood comes with a lot of responsibilities (I doff my hat to parents) what, with pulling a 9-5 job, battling traffic, dealing with antsy staff/colleagues, coming back home to deal with the children, house chores and a host of other stuff. Tell me shouldn't  adulthood of itself be termed a full-time  job? And then you're expected to top that off by being omniscient, please.

I find adulthood tiring sometimes (really), but would I want to exchange it for ice cream? Heck no. I love my freedom too much for that.

With life tugging at you from all sides demanding answers, when is it okay to say I don't know?

"Now that you've graduated what next?" I don't know.

"Ah corper, you have finished? So what next na?" I don't know.

"Now that you've gotten a job, what next?" I don't know.
"Ehn, your sister's married when are we coming for yours?" I don't know.

It's okay not to know everything especially if you know the One who knows, sees and hears everything. 

It's very much okay to sometimes look at yourself in the mirror and admit to not having all the answers. 

It's very much okay to look life in the eye and state emphatically, I don't know!!!

So, when is it okay to actually admit to not knowing a thing? Should it be a thing of shame to actually not know stuff? Who's to blame in propagating this know-it-all mentality?

The truth is, we can't know it all. Make peace with that.

I'd like to hear your thoughts, don't be shy in hitting the comment section.

Photo Credit: Google