Frank Friday: Ramblings, Mutterings and What Nots

Gosh, I feel so fagged out. I laughed long and loud in my head at that expression. The last time I used that was in my secondary school days. Oh those were the days. We had a variety of slangs at our disposal that our speech never lost its flavoured touch.

There was never a boring gist. Whose gist would be boring when one had such an arsenal of northern spiced slangs to choose from? Now I'm "irin feeling tech" lol (only my school mates will relate with this).

All of my life, I've stayed in the north and though I don't speak the language, I'm much more northerner than southerner (is that correct? My head's kinda fuddled right now).

It's been a tedious week and I'm undergoing a spell of laziness with this blog. No, I don't think it's laziness, I don't just have enough energy to expend on it right now I think. Will be back with a bounce I promise. Once I'm done figuring out my life that is. I'm always having to figure out my life I don't understand again o, shuo. Am I alone in this? Anyways, just promise you'll wait for me? *batseyelashes* tashakor.

Cheers...

Photo Credit: Nil

(Of course it'd be nil. Did you see any photo there?) Lol

Frank Friday: Update

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the feedback. Tashakor. I didn't know I was making sense but why oh why would you not drop them here? Feedback that is. I don't get it. Isn't it much easier? Okay, I'm done ranting. I appreciate that ya'll take the time to actually visit, I'm humbled.

So, certain someones have prompted my doing an update on this post. I've needed to clarify a few things. Not everyone can do what I did (I'm not even asking anyone to do anything) cos we're not all in the same circumstance(s) neither are we cut from the same cloth. I've had some people say I made it sound so easy. Seriously? Did you read that post at all? There was nothing easy about that decision. Heck, I was terribly terrified (see? Terribly terrified). It was no mean feat I pulled back then, uhuh. Especially in this clime of ours where we've been fed the half bread's better than none and a Bird in hand's worth...yada, yada, yada advice one time too many.

Manage, the common man's anthem (that's actually a post on its own). So, no it wasn't easy but was it worth it? In Les Brown's voice, it was worth it alright?

So, here goes nothing. Yup, nothing 'cos I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm literally flying by the seat of my pants (go figure).

For anyone that wants to try this (again, I don't even advise you to, double standard much?) be absolutely, unconfoundedly sure 'cos my dear, you ain't going to enjoy the experience unless you're a sloth. I hear they don't do much. I was at the end of my tether so to speak, when I made that decision.

Secondly, make sure you have a plan B in case things don't go quite so well. If possible have a plan in all the alphabets, you don't want to be stranded like this little man:

Thirdly, don't let anyone guilt trip you into thinking you made a mistake (unless you did indeed make a mistake). It's not their happiness or health or advancement or career growth or whatever it is that's making you leave, at stake. I think I should insert here that you should clearly evaluate your reason(s) for leaving. Is it something that can actually be corrected, modified, addressed? You get my drift. We don't want you running off and then two weeks down you suffer from the had-i-known syndrome, nope, that wouldn't do. So assess, assess, assess your reason(s) & option(s).

Also, it's advisable to have some pocket money tucked away somewhere. It should be enough to see you through the wait. You'd have to cut down on your budget, a lot of things would have to go and you & the ones around you would or might feel the pinch. Depends on the wait.

For me, the first thing to go was impulse buying. I'm big at that. If it wasn't absolutely necessary, no deal. I'm learning the hard way. Yes, learning 'cos it's still WIP (Work In Progress).

Basically, that's it. Be sure it's not the evil forces in your villa that are pushing your buttons before you leap. Have your options staked out from A-Z if need be. Avoid those guilt trippers biko 'cos that's exactly what they are. They send you off on guilt trips all by yourself and they almost all don't turn out well. Make sure to have a lil' something (cash) that'll hold till the tide washes over (no brainer there).

So, did I miss anything?

Photo Credit: Dreamstime.

P.S: If you don't look anything like the smiling guy in the first image, then, you're probably making a mistake. Think it through.

A Commuter's Tale

I've taken to going to and from work via this very long bus we call urban mass back in the FCT.

This is it.

It all started as part of my operation cut cost cos on a good day, I wouldn't use them. It takes longer arriving my destination but I'm kinda enjoying it cos of all the shenanigans that take place in it while in transit, hehe.

The other day, on my way back home a mutiny threatened to strike. Ok, not mutiny more like disorderly behaviour. We had left Area 3 in Garki en route Gwagwalada. It was at the peak of traffic, rush hour when all most offices have closed and everyone's running home.

So, I don't know what got into the *epa but he took a wrong route in the name of avoiding the traffic jam ahead. We had to circle back into town (no mean feat with traffic everywhere). To cut a long story short after much diversions and meeting same result, the passengers began to hyperventilate with insults ringing from all sides.

My amusement changed to alarm when some over excited ones got it into their heads to wrestle control of the steering wheel with the driver. Others began to shout with one woman screaming out the window, "help, help". It was crazy I tell you and I began to pray for the Holy Spirit's intervention. Imagine being in a long bus that's weaving this way and that, it wasn't funny but it was funny. After the fear had passed that is. 

Having finished my prayer, I relaxed, ready to watch the drama unfold (kent fit shout) while enjoying my boiled corn on the cob.

Ultimately, we arrived Gwags two hours late (talk about irate passengers. I pitied the old man sha, na condition make cray fish bend.

*an elderly man.

Photo Credit: aumtco.com

Faces

There are faces 

And then there are faces

A bitch resting face

A neutral face

A mad face

An angry face

A sick face

A tired face

A world weary face

A bright face

A cunning face

And tons of other faces

I love them all equally 

Or unequally?

This face I wear

Ain't mine

I borrow faces

To emote feelings

Running wild in my head 

In my body 

In my mind

I wear many faces

Each day

A different face

Each situation

A different face

Each occasion

A different face

These faces I wear-

Long

Happy

Sad

Thoughtful

Disappointed ‎

Stressed

Strained

Wise

Open

Honest

Scowly

Scarred

Fearsome

Feisty

-I wear them with pride

Today it's a shiny face

Tomorrow it's a mask of a face

Some with a measure of hesitancy

I wear

Some faces are formidable

And threatening to other faces

I wear these faces only when needed

On extreme contrivances

Many faces have I

But I'm stuck with two

These two faces I find

Are all that I need

They carry the messages

I desire to spread

These faces of mine

Have served unreservedly

Faithfully

Loyally

Swerving neither left nor right

As straight as parallel lines

Remain they

Poker-faced

Unfazed

These are the faces I favour

This face I wear

Wears me out sometimes 

I teach it to laugh 

But it adamantly refuses 

So I borrow a laughing face

This isn't my face

My face is fair

And long

And fair

And pimply

And dimply

That's my face alright

But the face that looks out at me now

I fear

I do not recognise

This face of mine

It draws people to me

And chases others away from me

This face of mine

Mine yet not mine

This face I wear

Does it accurately portray me?

Am I my face?

Is my face I?

This face I wear

Simple yet complex

Underneath the lines 

The care worn lines

Of having lived

Underneath the crags and craters

That garnish the surface of my face

Lies yet more faces

The face of worry

The face of doubt 

The face of shame

The face of anxiety

Many faces have I 

But above all

I prefer my homely face

My homely face exudes peace

My homely face exudes love

Tolerance 

Acceptance

This face I wear

Which do you wear?

I wear the face of success 

And when I'm feeling exceptional gay

I wear the fey

The fey face never fails me

When times are bad

Then comes out the bold

The rock face's strong and hard

But then 

It's too heavy for comfort 

I can barely carry it around 

I pray they continue to serve

These faces of mine

Until the day

I put them finally to rest

And that I shall do with a smile

Knowing that I have used them all

And exhausted them of whatever life drop

They might have possessed

Photo Credit; Musings from Mt. Helicon

Frank Friday: A Reminder to Dear Self

This again is a recycled piece that was first published here. What frame of mind I was in, I do not care to recall but I'm risking a certain degree of... putting it out like this, but hey, it's frank Friday.

I find that I spend too much of my time in my head and this unfortunately has its repercussions. Occasionally, I may venture out to see what’s going on with the world – albeit, reluctantly – I almost always regret it cos I'm disheartened by what I see and hear – disaster upon disaster, it’s all bad news.

So what’s a gal to do? Remain in in my head of course, indefinitely. Not that it’s pleasant all of the time, at least I’m the creator here, the one in charge. It’s when I’m in my head solutions are proffered; it’s all rosy in here.

On the flip side though, I tend to lose touch with reality, the world just  moves on without me leaving me to catch up while gasping for breath (for the few times I actually care to bother).

Then something happens to make me realise that I ought to be bothered. Really bothered. 

Photo Credit: A Friend's DP

Turtle Soup

Gloria Gaynor's 'I will Survive' usually does the trick but not this time. No, not this time. My mantra of recent (I keep switching 'em) has been 'The just shall shall live by their faith'. It just keeps going round and round in my head not that I'm complaining, no. 

So, my actual reason for coming out of a semi vacay is 'cos of the  news my lil' birds have been bringing. With all I've heard so far this maxim neatly wraps up what I'm been told: 

when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

That said, I have good news. All that's going on with the economy, fuel subsidy, price hikes et al is for good. Eh? Someone's wondering if they read correctly, yes you did. Business moguls - or should I say experts? - say it is at times like this great opportunities present themselves (for my business oriented people, shine ya eyes). This is the time some of my friends will hammer (come into good fortune). Thou knoweth thyselves.

I was glad (with reason) when all these changes began I was forced to give up on certain unhealthy habits like my love for snacks and pick up healthy ones, long walks. Before I purchase a snack, boy, I reason it well. Ain't got that kinda cash to throw around no more. You feeling me? Hahaha. But really, desperate times call for desperate measures.

For me personally, it has been a great time for my experiments to thrive (I'm big on DIYs) and has opened up alternative means of getting things done (does multipurpose ring a bell)? For example, let's start with:

Food: I've found that so much I thought I couldn't do without, I can actually do without and have found new uses for food items that I once undermined.

Beauty regime: back to the basics biko. I never knew I had an Aloe Vera plant in my house (ok, I did know, but never paid it any mind) until I ran out of cleanser (ladies, I hope you're reading in between the lines).

Transportation: I hear carpooling's great but I wouldn't know 'cos my car's yet to arrive (on the high seas *wink*). So for those of us still hopping buses, it's not for every mileage you need to board a vehicle (truth be told), there's a reason some are called 'walking distance'. Work those muscles.

The US passed through a great depression once upon a time and history has it down as one of the dreariest of times - I shudder to think of what went down in that period - that I daresay has made them the formidable nation that they are today. What we're passing through now is beans compared to that. My advise for the time being, would be to buckle those belts, hold tight, sit tight and try not to fall off 'cos it's gonna be one helluva ride.

Meanwhile, I cannot logically explain why that title for this post 'Turtle Soup' but I have this feeling that I do know why.

So pretty please do share, what lifestyle changes have you had to make with all that's going on?

Photo Credit; PicsyMag

Frank Friday: Cheap Thrills

TGIF? Ok, this is meant to be like a tongue-in-cheek responsorial piece to Sia (I must say, I like Sia. A lot) but I'm honestly not trying to be funny. Do well to look out for those small bursts of seriousness, it wouldn't hurt to pick out some home truths to run with.

So, Sia wrote a song 'Cheap Thrills' and like the human being that I am, rather than listen to songs that intrigue me, I first scope out the lyrics. If it's A-okay, I zoom off with it. But if it's Z-not-ok, OYO (on your own).

While Sia's message is about not having to clear one's bank account in order to have fun, I can't help but dwell on that word 'Cheap Thrills' cos most times that's what we engage in compared to life's bigger picture.

Our society thrives on instant gratification. See it? Covet. Like it? Buy. Want it? Possess. Why wait when you can have it now?? We've taken to satisfying our wants by all means without entertaining thoughts of how it may shape our future. YOLO right? So why not take the chance? Let the future take care of itself.
Swallowing quantity/hype over quality which satisfies for a while and then leaves you aching and longing for more. These cheap thrills are everywhere and come in different wraps and packaging, glittery and alluring.

Cheap thrills = present wise, future foolish or as a friend puts it; play now, pay later.

Can't remember where I was going with this post, but here's my answer to the ones who constantly badger me to go have fun, especially when your idea of fun is 'questionable', I don't do cheap thrills, ha ha. Enjoy the weekend folks.

No offence Sia, we still good.
Trivia: Why do I like Sia?

Photo Credit: 7×7

Mayday

Wanted starting this post with happy workers' day but my heart won't let me, what's there to be happy about? 

That some workers are still been owed huge sums in arrears? That some barely scrape by with their monthly stipend called salary? That many are overworked yet underpaid? Tell me, what exactly is there to be celebrated? Let me not even bring in the matter of minimum wage, this place will just scatter. 

The average Nigerian worker is frustrated (but you're not, say amen), hungry, angry, bitter and jobless. Yes jobless, I dunno about you but from where I'm looking in, the average Nigerian worker's always job hunting. Now, I wonder why that sounds so familiar. 

Unsurprisingly, no one's wished me a happy workers' day (well, except my bank. Banks!!! *shudders*). Yo! Workers in the house, what's happening? Easy with the vexing. I wonder if there's going to be some sort of parade like they have in certain parts of the country, but I highly doubt that. Not with the vibes I'm getting. Well, my little birds tell me that there shall be a placard carrying protest in lieu of a celebration, how grand is that?

Everyone's angry; angry with the economy, angry with baba, angry with God? I hope not. I understand sha. You're working with nothing to show for it. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't madness to expect a productive workforce when an enabling environment has not been created for that to take place. I don't know how workers can be productive when they're barely satisfied. 

They're disgruntled and hungry and angry (anger lies in the bosom of a hungry man, yup quote me. I know what I'm saying) and you're expecting their very best? Oga o.

Somethings I don't like to think about how much more, talk about 'cos my spirit dips and I don't like that. So, one good day I made a decision that it wasn't everything I wanted seeing/reading/hearing about, there's a lot of ill news making the rounds and I don't want a part of it. In came selective exposure and it's been there ever since. I can't shout. 

Talking about hunger, I'm a big foodie and I know how nasty I get when I'm hungry, I turn into something else. So workers, I feel us jare, things aren't looking so pinkish right now but there's always a silver lining somewhere, let's look for it shall we?

I think I found one, you get to stay home and rest today, lol. But some persons ain't resting though, like the media practitioners, this is even when they've got extraneous scoops to pursue like covering our your protest march for instance.

So, uhm, a tentative happy workers' day? *duckshead* ejo o, easy. Una no sabi joke again? But on a more serious note, things will surely get better. Have faith, hold on to hope and fret not thyselves.

Photo Credit: Nigerian Eye.

Burning Bush and Other Stories

On a certain road trip, I came across a scene -a long forgotten practice that put a smile on my face- bush burning. Not just any bush burning, bush burning with the intent of killing Rats, Rabbits, Grasscutters and any/all unfortunate resident(s) of a bush. All these are what we refer to as bush meat, a delicacy. If you haven't eaten bush meat, I wonder for you.

So, I saw this teenagers (boys of course, they're the hunters) armed with their sticks in a semi circle, ready to deal a deadly blow to any unfortunate victim that comes running out. Now I wonder if I felt sorry for the hapless creatures back in the days when I participated in this hunting expeditions. Ok, I didn't participate in the hunting per se but I did watch (from a safe distance), so I was more or less a passive participant lol. At least, I wasn't part of the welcome party. Those were the ones who stayed back home but wanted part of the goodies.

I spent a growing up part of my years in a barrack. So when word made the rounds that the neighbourhood boys were going ahunting, I also made haste to catch up with them. This was the closest I came to a hunting experience and boy oh boy did I enjoy it. The thrill and the excitement of the chase, I feel I'd have ruptured in sheer delight should I have been an active participant cos these feelings alone came from mere observing.

They set a portion of the bush on fire and then position themselves around the periphery. Sticks, Clubs, Hoes (anything capable of delivering a sure blow) held high waiting for the helpless creatures fleeing uncertain death and into seemingly safety, but instead, into the arms of certain death.

Now, uncertain death in the sense that they may have had a 50-50 chance of survival if only by burrowing or just staying put. But you know animals, instead, they panick and run into the waiting arms and weapons of mass destruction the boys (survival instincts though, sheesh).

Sometimes, we humans do this too. When things aren't going so well; our fortunes change or something like that, we panick and then make wrong decisions that only puts us into bigger trouble. From frying pan into the fire, remember that saying? It's best to remain put, waiting out the storm while scoping out your options. But some of us just can't wait, I know. I struggle with waiting too but waiting's an essential part of life. You'd be surprised at what it births.

I don't think I'd enjoy such sport again. But seeing those boys and the burning bush just brought back the memories.

P.S: Panick=Panic.

Photo Credit: Africa Geographic Magazine

Frank Friday: A Selfish Decision

Hi there. So, it's Frank Friday and I'll be sharing a bit of myself. You know, the bit that's not so put together, the bit that I get to cover with a false sense of bravado on a daily basis, lol. We've all got those bits.

So here's what we'll do, I share, you share, we all share. And what are we sharing? Not PMS o, haha, I know it's scarce and all (a sad development) but we'll be sharing that part of us that's hidden from the world. Where we nurse our fears and uncertainties but please, nurse them no more for no good'll come off that. 

So, here's me opening the show, let's call it a launch of this Frank Friday Series shall we? ;)
***
When I announced my decision to resign from my job, many thought I had taken leave of my senses, that I had gone gaga, nuts, cray cray, cuckoo. Who ups and leaves a job when you haven't gotten a replacement *points finger at self*, that's who. 

But I held fast. Not for me, but for my progeny (more for me) lol. What will I tell them down the years when they find themselves in a similar situation? Oh wait, I'd say "my dear, I was once in your shoe but I did manage so, manage." No, I won't do that to them.

Manage, the common man's song.  That I was in a job that was detrimental to me and I couldn't quit for fear of what people might say or think? I wasn't happy on the job, I knew it and it was obvious. Yet I lingered. Why? Fear. It is indeed true that we are the ones holding ourselves back from greatness. Society has drummed it into our heads to manage, to make do with what we have and as Fela put it "suffering and smiling." I've come to loathe that word, manage.

Hear what someone has to say about this;

“Imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy then gives them the drugs to take away their unhappiness...Instead of removing the conditions that make people depressed modern society gives them antidepressant drugs. In effect antidepressants are a means of modifying an individual's internal state in such a way as to enable him to tolerate social conditions that he would otherwise find intolerable.” 

― Theodore J. Kaczynski

See? The society has conditioned us so much so that we tolerate the otherwise intolerable out of fear. What are we so afraid of I wonder? Personally, I sometimes feel that I limit myself way too much...

Too much so. 

And so, it was with a strong sense of resolve I woke up one day to say, enough's enough and believe you me, it had a liberating effect on me. It was like taking power back from whoever or whatever I had given it to. I felt alive and in charge. And that's just the first step of my self-empowerment.

Now, I didn't arrive at that decision without my fair share of doubt, worries, anxieties and double checking to be doubly sure that I was making the right decision. To be sure, it was a selfish decision, I believe I'm allowed to act selfishly every once in a while. And do I regret the decision???

Hell no!

So, enough's enough. Life's for the living, breathe...

Photo Credit: Google

My Dream

This is the Nigeria of my dream.

A Nigeria where a pretty young lady can afford a comfortable lifestyle without being labeled an aristo/call girl/runs girl.

A Nigeria where one's lifestyle's choice isn't questioned, where one can stay single for as long as desired without society calling names and making up stories about the reason for that and intimating that something must be wrong with you else you should be hitched by now.

A Nigeria where I can walk to the park without being harassed/tackled by touts and nearly brought down.

A Nigeria where I am free to be me in all my weird glory; a deviant, an anomaly, strange and different and be relatively safe.

A Nigeria where I can freely talk about my faith/beliefs without being labelled a religious bigot/fanatic.

A Nigeria where I can speak grammatically correct and sound English without being labellled an efico/show off/forming.

A Nigeria where I can trust my neighbor to watch my back. 

A Nigeria where the dissenting voices are patiently given listening ears in view of resolving issues

A Nigeria where every naturally endowed fair skinned lady isn’t attributed to skin bleaching toning. Where I make healthy lifestyle choices without being labeled a health fad junkie.

A Nigeria where I prefer my own company without being considered haughty and proud; a snob.

A Nigeria where I am recognized by merit.
Where I can be gainfully employed based on my skills and not by who I know ('connections').

A Nigeria where a young man’s wealth acquisition is attributed to the dividends of hard work and not 'yahoo'/nefarious activities.

A Nigeria where I chose to be my own woman and not called a failure because I have neither husband nor child.

A Nigeria where I can walk down the street poker faced without random strangers asking me to smile because pretty girls ought to smile more.

A Nigeria where friendship(s) with opposite sexes exist without speculations running rife.

A Nigeria where I am not shouted down because my opinions differ from my neighbor’s.        

A Nigeria where I write this down and not have hastily drawn conclusions about my person.

This, is the Nigeria of my dream. 
And then some more.

Photo Credit: Google