MMC: Mental Armour

The alarm rings yet again and for the hundredth time, Ztembe slams it shut. Oh God, why did you have to create Monday, why? She grumbles as she flings the sheet off her and gingerly sets one foot before the other to begin her daily ritual.

Rushing out, she goes through her mental checklist, mental armour she calls them:

*pepper spray, defense against nosy colleagues, check.

*raincoat, to shake off nay sayers, check.

*face mask, to not smell the boss' bullshit, check.

*plastic smile, for Sembe and Sempei, check.

*sunshade, to wade off the evil eyes, check.

With everything checked and a self satisfied smile playing on her lips, she waltzes out, confident in the fact that she was covered. Bring it on Monday. 

                                  ¤¤¤

Hi lovers, 

I've actually missed Ztembe and her wahala, lol and I've missed writing this series. I'm sorry, I needed to take a look at the whole series again to remember why I started this in the first place, Monday and its beefers. Well I've got good news, Ztembe's back, ready to take y'all (and Monday) on and she's bringing the heat with her. Watch out!

Btw, I'm no longer a Monday moaner. Guess that's why I took a pause😁. Have a great week ahead and a lovely Monday. Oh and a happy end of month *doffshat*.

Peace out. 

Frank Friday: Midnight Escapades

The things that happen at midnight are better left unsaid but I think my activities are innocuous enough to be talked about lol. I once used to be an active night crawler (nah, not in that way), I mean a night owl. Night time was when I was very active.

That year in school while men slept, Linda cooked, Linda washed, Linda mopped, Linda listened to loud music, Linda did a lot of things in that odd hour. My roommates heard it sha, lol. In my opinion, night time is divine. The silence and stillness, everywhere's so calm.

By night time I mean midnight. In this clime, the midnight hour's associated with a lot of terribles (is that a word please?); as that's when evil thrives under cover of darkness, and all. Midnight hour's that doorway between the living and dead. Yep, I said it. A doorway between the known and the unknown, the banal and the mystical. That hour where anything's possible. It's like a special time when anything can happen. Many folklore associate the midnight hour with magic; tales of mystic, mystery and a certain touch of awe. The dead come back to walk among the living, the pretty maiden changes back to her 'real' form, the wolf-man changes its form, skinchangers and other monsters walk upon the earth's surface. Whew, I could go on and on but I'm not Dean Koontz and the rest. It's when all the magic happens sha, you get.

Simply put, the midnight hour is the best of times to be productive (my opinion). It's the best of times to pray, to listen, to meditate and to strategise. The midnight hour's a time to recharge and reboot by sleeping (for those who don't appreciate what the hour connotes) and I wrote that in the most condescending of tones by the way. I mean, how can you not appreciate that hour? Lol, I kid biko cos I'm now team sleep (on good days). I'd better enjoy it while stock lasts.

It's time I switched off now, it's 1:52 am btw. I've burnt my midnight oil to the ground and my hour's up. Just thought to pen this down.

Ciao...
I had fun scaring folks with that photo😂😹
Oh, and I've got cold. Again. Dunno how the virus keeps getting me😐😑

On being a wall flower

I'd start by saying, as a wall flower your default answer should be no. At all times (I'll expatiate on that in another post). Today's for the wall flowers in the hizzouse (a show of hands please✌)😂

So here goes:

1. At all times, turn down offers to attend social functions. Yep, end of post. That's what being a wall flowers's all about, saying no. Lol, ok not the end.
2. If perchance you were tricked or coerced or for whatever reason you decide to go, arrive early, you don't want anyone to see you arriving do you? If you find yourself running late, try to slip in quietly and unobtrusively. Let it be that you just did appear out of thin air. 
3. Dress to blend
4. Find your spot; a vantage point where you can see all and not be seen
5. Befriend the couch and do not for any reason disengage from it.
6. Note all exit points in case of emergencies like needing a breath of fresh air or escaping loudmouths or/and for quick and easy getaway. You'll thank me later 😉

So that's that, got any more to add? But why would you want to be a wall flower anyways? Being a wall flower's not for the faint of heart just so you know😋

Disclaimer: This is a tongue in cheek post by the way.

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Nah, I lied but personally, I enjoy being a wall flower. Infact,  it's one of my hobbies. I own it. Cheers, gotta run.... 

Peace. 

I love that photo, it's from my phone's wallpaper collection. 

Jolly July

Hi darlings,

Issa new month, happy July guys. How was the weekend? Rainy right?  Yeah, same here and then Lekki was flooded, whew.

Saw pictures online since I've refused to own a TV set. Please don't ask why, cos I assure you that my answer wouldn't make a lick of sense.

There's a lot I wanna say but don't even know where to start. So, that's that. Once again, happy lollified July.

Peace.

Did I mention I spent the entire weekend indoors? Well I'd have felt it if not that I was kept busy with the wig I was working on. Handwork's good I tell you. Sometimes.

Will also be sharing some of my write ups next month. Yesss, I'd participated in a competition on IG (my first😁) and it was fun I tell you. And challenging too. It's not beans writing daily, ya'll can testify to it here, hehe. So, the goal's to share one for everyday. Should've started this month but well, as you can see, we're way into the month. So August by God's grace, will be sharing a write-up everyday God willing.

Since June was 30 days and August 31, will be throwing in a last day bonus😉

Bye people, I leave you with "Holy Grail", it was my sound accompaniment all through my lazy busy weekend😘

Nameless

Let's talk about getting old. When last did you take a gooood look at your parents? Over the weekend, I did have a wake up call.

As young adults, we sometimes get so caught up in our lives that we forget our parents are getting older same way we are. In my mind's eye, I still see them with the eyes of a child, like they're strong and will always remain same way but that's only an illusion, they won't always remain same way and one day, they won't be around (fact).

Sometimes, I feel like the worst of daughters (who'd believe my story?) I mean, I'm good at forgetting about my parents as in, I only think about them in an unconscious kinda way and not in an intentional kinda way. Get my drift?

And something's always bothered me. Your happiness or your parents' happiness, which should be paramount? I know I won't get an answer, still I'm asking anyway. It gets so tiring trying to place others' happiness before yours (selfish much?) but it's true. I think I really need to work on that.

So I promised myself to try to do better. I'm not always the best of daughters, I mess up sometimes most times, haha (I'm laughing but I'm not. Really). 

Happy Dem's day BTW

Photo Credit: Sara's O world

SOTD (Song of the day) 'Towards the Sun'

April Fools' Day: Origins

How often have we asked how did so and so come about? I know for some (the analytical ones especially) it's often. Most times we participate in events and don't ask why we do what we do. For instance, April 1st is one day that's set aside to destroy prank folks and pull practical jokes.

So today, before I go afooling, the question pops into my head, why is April 1st tagged April fools day? I mean, is it that all the fools convene on this day? Is it like their own special holiday or a day set aside to mark their exploits? Who are these fools BTW? I once came upon a joke about an atheist coming to the court of law to contest not having their own day since most religions of the world have theirs; Christmas, Sallah, Hannukah to mentíon but a few, and the judge responded that they already had their own day, April 1st because only a fool would say there's no God*. 

Anyway, my questions led me to my brainiac friend and companion, Google and it turns out that they also do not exactly know, lol. I mean, there are so many theories pertaining to this day. 

So according to Wiki, April 1st is sometimes called 'All Fools' Day' and was first brought into the limelight by a book written by Geoffrey Chaucer, 'The Canterbury Tales'. If you haven't read 'The Canterbury Tales', then please go do so and tell me all about it. Honestly, I found that book difficult to read. Still struggling with it.

So back to April 1st, there are different narratives as to its origin and that's saying a lot. There's no stand out reason as to how the day came about, nor how its name was derived and it's celebrated differently in different climes. For instance in the UK, pranks stop at 12 noon and anyone who attempts to pull a practical joke after then is the April fool.

In Poland, this is a day for creating elaborate hoax stories. Even the media chimes in. It's said that an alliance that was signed on the 1st of April by the Government had to be back dated in order to be taken seriously. Hmm, it's that serious over there.

Even though one can't exactly pinpoint its origins, advocates of this day believe it is good for the health as it 'encourages "jokes, hoaxes...pranks, [and] belly laughs", and brings all the benefits of laughter including stress relief and reducing strain on the heart.'

Crítics on the other hand believe it is '"creepy and manipulative", "rude", and "a little bit nasty", as well as based on schadenfreude* and deceit.'

For more, read here and here.

So that's that. I'm on the prowl for who to prank😈😈, lemme go plot.

Byeee 😘

*Psalm 14:1- The fool says in his heart, "There is no God."

*Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others

Photo Credits: Elephant Journal, Wonderopolis.

Miss Cally

Ah, Calabar my Calabar...I'll one day write a poem for you. There are few places you go where you can say home sweet home. For me, Calabar was one of those. You know how you meet certain people and you just have an instant connection? That's what happened between I and Cally. My dream city's what I call her. Going to Calabar was like coming home. I don't have any roots there sef but these things happen; inexplicable connection to places and people.

My mandatory one year service took me to Calabar and I was instantly hooked. Well, I took myself there cos I redeployed from my original state of service. I've loved Calabar from afar and it was one of the Nigerian cities I'd longed to visit, so when I saw the opportunity, I pounced on it.

KrossKopa

Jos is another place I'd like to also visit but seeing Calabar and living there's calmed my thirst. For now. You'd be surprised at my reasons for loving Cally, but love's love. There's a casualness to Cally that I like. Those people know how to take life easy. Oh, and they know how to enjoy life, like really enjoy it (story for another day).

Chilling after watching a match at the stadium. AFCON qualifier I think.

This match.

Everywhere I turned to, it was a park, more like a garden park, everywhere for chilling. Infact, it's a garden state. Every inch of ground's well tended and groomed. I'm sure it's serene environment's specially groomed to drive business. You know Cross River's known for its tourist attractions hence, everything has to work to promote the touristy feel. They did eat my money and made me spend more, but I didn't mind. Yeah, it's quite an expensive place to live in with limited employment/business opportunities (believe me, I tried getting a job). Most of the businesses there are concentrated in the hospitality industry. This again is due to the state's appellation as a destination spot for touristy tourists.

Entrance to my *PPA.

I really did enjoy Calabar. The people are friendly, cuisine's on point. I learnt how to eat white rice with pepper soup instead of tomatoes sauce by force. There's a dearth of tomatoes over there that's why (so I was told).

My *boli joint for when I couldn't bear to down white rice and pepper soup.

Not so clear but quite enjoyable. Especially liked the herbal leaves used, forgotten the name. It was slightly bitter. 

My journey to a healthy lifestyle started in Cally. I learnt to eat more fruits and veggies there. I even learnt to enjoy watermelon and cucumber. Two things I'd previously hated with passion. All my memories of Calabar are beautiful, thanks to amazing friends as well. I couldn't tour the *state as I'd intended due to financial constraints but I have no regrets.

And yes, I did make friends (surprise). They were that friendly and open too. They're not closed off like my Abuja people of which I'm one. Witnessed three weddings (could've been more) and turned down an offer to go for a burial ceremony (can't fit shout).

The view from my window, lol. Can't recall what festival. The road was later tarred and my ears heard it.

My stay in Cally was well worth it. It opened my eyes to the finer points of life. It's one aspect of my life I see as a major landmark.

I'm watching Jenifas's diary btw, and it's so frigging hilarious.

Well, what can I say? I had an awemazing service year in Cally and I promise to share more about it on my 5th year serviceverssary which will be June 2nd or is it 6th? I forget. Just stay tuned.💋

The pictures ain't exactly snazzy I know. Didn't have a blog and an audience in mind when I took them. Bear with me mbok.

*PPA: Primary Place of Assignment where during the mandatory one year service, you're attached to a School/Company/Organisation to give back to your Fatherland.
*Boli: Roasted Plantain
*Crossriver.

To the lady in the long skirt...

To the lady in the long skirt

I see you daily
You in your flowing long skirts
Not minding that such's practically gone extinct
Yet you carry on
Like your flowing locks of hair

To the lady in the long skirt
I like your attire
Clothed in modesty's best
I'd like to be you
I'm glad I'm you

Your flowing long skirts to me
Represent unconformity
Defiance
They speak to me
They tell me that I don't need to cater to society's standards of beautification or adornment

They tell deep things

They tell me that I don't need to be naked
To feel loved
That I don't need to go unclad
To be admired

You young lady are brave
You are strong
And I admire you

To the lady in the long skirt
Despite the ridicule
And the laughter
And the name calling
Keep being you

To the lady in the long skirt
You're the girl after my heart
Rock on girl
Don't believe the lie that you're outdated
And old-fashioned
And out of touch
And not fashion forward
Rock on girl
With your long flowing skirts

This is to that lady in the long flowing skirt...

A Commuter's Tale

I've taken to going to and from work via this very long bus we call urban mass back in the FCT.

This is it.

It all started as part of my operation cut cost cos on a good day, I wouldn't use them. It takes longer arriving my destination but I'm kinda enjoying it cos of all the shenanigans that take place in it while in transit, hehe.

The other day, on my way back home a mutiny threatened to strike. Ok, not mutiny more like disorderly behaviour. We had left Area 3 in Garki en route Gwagwalada. It was at the peak of traffic, rush hour when all most offices have closed and everyone's running home.

So, I don't know what got into the *epa but he took a wrong route in the name of avoiding the traffic jam ahead. We had to circle back into town (no mean feat with traffic everywhere). To cut a long story short after much diversions and meeting same result, the passengers began to hyperventilate with insults ringing from all sides.

My amusement changed to alarm when some over excited ones got it into their heads to wrestle control of the steering wheel with the driver. Others began to shout with one woman screaming out the window, "help, help". It was crazy I tell you and I began to pray for the Holy Spirit's intervention. Imagine being in a long bus that's weaving this way and that, it wasn't funny but it was funny. After the fear had passed that is. 

Having finished my prayer, I relaxed, ready to watch the drama unfold (kent fit shout) while enjoying my boiled corn on the cob.

Ultimately, we arrived Gwags two hours late (talk about irate passengers. I pitied the old man sha, na condition make cray fish bend.

*an elderly man.

Photo Credit: aumtco.com