Frank Friday: Cheap Thrills

TGIF? Ok, this is meant to be like a tongue-in-cheek responsorial piece to Sia (I must say, I like Sia. A lot) but I'm honestly not trying to be funny. Do well to look out for those small bursts of seriousness, it wouldn't hurt to pick out some home truths to run with.

So, Sia wrote a song 'Cheap Thrills' and like the human being that I am, rather than listen to songs that intrigue me, I first scope out the lyrics. If it's A-okay, I zoom off with it. But if it's Z-not-ok, OYO (on your own).

While Sia's message is about not having to clear one's bank account in order to have fun, I can't help but dwell on that word 'Cheap Thrills' cos most times that's what we engage in compared to life's bigger picture.

Our society thrives on instant gratification. See it? Covet. Like it? Buy. Want it? Possess. Why wait when you can have it now?? We've taken to satisfying our wants by all means without entertaining thoughts of how it may shape our future. YOLO right? So why not take the chance? Let the future take care of itself.
Swallowing quantity/hype over quality which satisfies for a while and then leaves you aching and longing for more. These cheap thrills are everywhere and come in different wraps and packaging, glittery and alluring.

Cheap thrills = present wise, future foolish or as a friend puts it; play now, pay later.

Can't remember where I was going with this post, but here's my answer to the ones who constantly badger me to go have fun, especially when your idea of fun is 'questionable', I don't do cheap thrills, ha ha. Enjoy the weekend folks.

No offence Sia, we still good.
Trivia: Why do I like Sia?

Photo Credit: 7×7

Mayday

Wanted starting this post with happy workers' day but my heart won't let me, what's there to be happy about? 

That some workers are still been owed huge sums in arrears? That some barely scrape by with their monthly stipend called salary? That many are overworked yet underpaid? Tell me, what exactly is there to be celebrated? Let me not even bring in the matter of minimum wage, this place will just scatter. 

The average Nigerian worker is frustrated (but you're not, say amen), hungry, angry, bitter and jobless. Yes jobless, I dunno about you but from where I'm looking in, the average Nigerian worker's always job hunting. Now, I wonder why that sounds so familiar. 

Unsurprisingly, no one's wished me a happy workers' day (well, except my bank. Banks!!! *shudders*). Yo! Workers in the house, what's happening? Easy with the vexing. I wonder if there's going to be some sort of parade like they have in certain parts of the country, but I highly doubt that. Not with the vibes I'm getting. Well, my little birds tell me that there shall be a placard carrying protest in lieu of a celebration, how grand is that?

Everyone's angry; angry with the economy, angry with baba, angry with God? I hope not. I understand sha. You're working with nothing to show for it. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't madness to expect a productive workforce when an enabling environment has not been created for that to take place. I don't know how workers can be productive when they're barely satisfied. 

They're disgruntled and hungry and angry (anger lies in the bosom of a hungry man, yup quote me. I know what I'm saying) and you're expecting their very best? Oga o.

Somethings I don't like to think about how much more, talk about 'cos my spirit dips and I don't like that. So, one good day I made a decision that it wasn't everything I wanted seeing/reading/hearing about, there's a lot of ill news making the rounds and I don't want a part of it. In came selective exposure and it's been there ever since. I can't shout. 

Talking about hunger, I'm a big foodie and I know how nasty I get when I'm hungry, I turn into something else. So workers, I feel us jare, things aren't looking so pinkish right now but there's always a silver lining somewhere, let's look for it shall we?

I think I found one, you get to stay home and rest today, lol. But some persons ain't resting though, like the media practitioners, this is even when they've got extraneous scoops to pursue like covering our your protest march for instance.

So, uhm, a tentative happy workers' day? *duckshead* ejo o, easy. Una no sabi joke again? But on a more serious note, things will surely get better. Have faith, hold on to hope and fret not thyselves.

Photo Credit: Nigerian Eye.

Burning Bush and Other Stories

On a certain road trip, I came across a scene -a long forgotten practice that put a smile on my face- bush burning. Not just any bush burning, bush burning with the intent of killing Rats, Rabbits, Grasscutters and any/all unfortunate resident(s) of a bush. All these are what we refer to as bush meat, a delicacy. If you haven't eaten bush meat, I wonder for you.

So, I saw this teenagers (boys of course, they're the hunters) armed with their sticks in a semi circle, ready to deal a deadly blow to any unfortunate victim that comes running out. Now I wonder if I felt sorry for the hapless creatures back in the days when I participated in this hunting expeditions. Ok, I didn't participate in the hunting per se but I did watch (from a safe distance), so I was more or less a passive participant lol. At least, I wasn't part of the welcome party. Those were the ones who stayed back home but wanted part of the goodies.

I spent a growing up part of my years in a barrack. So when word made the rounds that the neighbourhood boys were going ahunting, I also made haste to catch up with them. This was the closest I came to a hunting experience and boy oh boy did I enjoy it. The thrill and the excitement of the chase, I feel I'd have ruptured in sheer delight should I have been an active participant cos these feelings alone came from mere observing.

They set a portion of the bush on fire and then position themselves around the periphery. Sticks, Clubs, Hoes (anything capable of delivering a sure blow) held high waiting for the helpless creatures fleeing uncertain death and into seemingly safety, but instead, into the arms of certain death.

Now, uncertain death in the sense that they may have had a 50-50 chance of survival if only by burrowing or just staying put. But you know animals, instead, they panick and run into the waiting arms and weapons of mass destruction the boys (survival instincts though, sheesh).

Sometimes, we humans do this too. When things aren't going so well; our fortunes change or something like that, we panick and then make wrong decisions that only puts us into bigger trouble. From frying pan into the fire, remember that saying? It's best to remain put, waiting out the storm while scoping out your options. But some of us just can't wait, I know. I struggle with waiting too but waiting's an essential part of life. You'd be surprised at what it births.

I don't think I'd enjoy such sport again. But seeing those boys and the burning bush just brought back the memories.

P.S: Panick=Panic.

Photo Credit: Africa Geographic Magazine

No beating around the Bush

Hello lovelies, it's been tons and tons of activities this past week that I totally got swamped. So, this post's a little bit of here, there and nowhere, alI at once. I'm that good, lol. We kick off with gratitude.

Life's not a bed of roses, we all know that. It however shouldn't take away from our humanity. Speaking about humanity, a certain someone- George, CEO Nitewaka- was humane enough to design my very own logo, I'm so thrilled *singsongvoice*.Talking about logos, noticed anything different? *grins* Yup, I've been doing some tinkering. So that's that for gratitude, moving on.

I came across this piece online and as with all things literature, I was tickled pink. Enjoy.


Beating around the Bush

Using idioms I find 
Could make you really ’blow your mind’
If you have ever ’rocked the boat’ 
Or got yourself ‘on someone’s goat’
You know that you could always be
‘Sent to distant Coventry’

If you’re ‘down on your knees’
‘Or out like a light’
If you ‘can’t see the wood for the trees’
You’re ‘on the wrong track’
‘Under the weather’
Remember that ‘life is a breeze’

When you’ve got ‘a hot tip’
Or you’re ‘on a good thing’
You’re at a loose end’, but ‘your chips are all down’
Are those ‘chips on your shoulder?’
Or ‘off the old block?’
You’re better off ‘playing the clown’.

With ‘your nose to the grindstone’
‘Your back to the wall’
‘Your head in the clouds’
‘Pulling strings’
“Life goes on’ it’s not over, not over at least
At least ‘til the fat lady sings’

Copyright Tim Hunter 2016.

P.S: I did mention that this post was all over right?

Photo Credit: Google

Sunday Special: Journal of a Missionary Wife 𐌠𐌠

Day 2

The village's awash with rumors of war, I don't even know what's happening but everyone is tense, even Geoff. I've been asked to stay within the walls of the village for the time being but I'm so sad. That would mean missing my daily walk. It begun out of need for solace but had become daily ritual. I don't know if I can take that, but I'll wait and watch.

Geoff had arrived with a stiffness to his shoulders which I had immediately recognised. It would seem things had not gone the way he had anticipated. 

Sometimes I wondered why he bothered. He cared too much and that was his weakness. Although, he always laughed it off whenever I pointed it out, he considered it as strength. I don't understand and I doubt I ever will.

Lord, help him, help us, help the village. Let there be no war. It would be terrible. 

Just the other day, Numi, the eldest woman in the village had recounted her dream. I shudder to remember it, it had seemed so vivid and now these?

Geoff is barely around, he's always in one meeting or the other with the village elders. I wish he wouldn't get so involved but then, I wish a lot of things.  Like starting a family.

Take charge Lord.

Photo Credit: Source

Frank Friday: A Selfish Decision

Hi there. So, it's Frank Friday and I'll be sharing a bit of myself. You know, the bit that's not so put together, the bit that I get to cover with a false sense of bravado on a daily basis, lol. We've all got those bits.

So here's what we'll do, I share, you share, we all share. And what are we sharing? Not PMS o, haha, I know it's scarce and all (a sad development) but we'll be sharing that part of us that's hidden from the world. Where we nurse our fears and uncertainties but please, nurse them no more for no good'll come off that. 

So, here's me opening the show, let's call it a launch of this Frank Friday Series shall we? ;)
***
When I announced my decision to resign from my job, many thought I had taken leave of my senses, that I had gone gaga, nuts, cray cray, cuckoo. Who ups and leaves a job when you haven't gotten a replacement *points finger at self*, that's who. 

But I held fast. Not for me, but for my progeny (more for me) lol. What will I tell them down the years when they find themselves in a similar situation? Oh wait, I'd say "my dear, I was once in your shoe but I did manage so, manage." No, I won't do that to them.

Manage, the common man's song.  That I was in a job that was detrimental to me and I couldn't quit for fear of what people might say or think? I wasn't happy on the job, I knew it and it was obvious. Yet I lingered. Why? Fear. It is indeed true that we are the ones holding ourselves back from greatness. Society has drummed it into our heads to manage, to make do with what we have and as Fela put it "suffering and smiling." I've come to loathe that word, manage.

Hear what someone has to say about this;

“Imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy then gives them the drugs to take away their unhappiness...Instead of removing the conditions that make people depressed modern society gives them antidepressant drugs. In effect antidepressants are a means of modifying an individual's internal state in such a way as to enable him to tolerate social conditions that he would otherwise find intolerable.” 

― Theodore J. Kaczynski

See? The society has conditioned us so much so that we tolerate the otherwise intolerable out of fear. What are we so afraid of I wonder? Personally, I sometimes feel that I limit myself way too much...

Too much so. 

And so, it was with a strong sense of resolve I woke up one day to say, enough's enough and believe you me, it had a liberating effect on me. It was like taking power back from whoever or whatever I had given it to. I felt alive and in charge. And that's just the first step of my self-empowerment.

Now, I didn't arrive at that decision without my fair share of doubt, worries, anxieties and double checking to be doubly sure that I was making the right decision. To be sure, it was a selfish decision, I believe I'm allowed to act selfishly every once in a while. And do I regret the decision???

Hell no!

So, enough's enough. Life's for the living, breathe...

Photo Credit: Google

Sunday Special: Journal of a Missionary Wife 𐌠

Day 1

I rolled out of bed this morning with thoughts of Geoff on my mind. I hadn't slept well the night before and I couldn't even if I had tried. No, not because of the mosquitoes. 

The oil lamp had gutted out sometime during the night I think. My thoughts turn again to Geoff, Lord where is he?

It had been five years, five blissful years that I had promised to go where he went. I had sworn that his God will be my God and his people, mine also. I wonder if I hadn't spoken in haste.

It's 2 am. I say a prayer for Geoff and determine to put my mind to good use. I had clothes to mend and the garden needed tending and I had that corn to mill, oh so much to do.

When Geoff had first told me about the call, I had laughed. Now, I wonder who's laughing. Lord take charge.

8:00 am

It's fully day and still no sign of him. I feel my stomach knot. I wonder what my dad would say seeing me neck deep in cow dung. He had firmly resisted our marriage citing social differences but I hadn't budged and now, here I am in the middle of nowhere. Living with people who love you as much as they hate you.

Everyday of wakefulness is a testimony which is why I'm so worried for Geoff.

2 pm

I keep looking up from the Millery hoping to see Geoff walking down hill, my ears sharpened to catch the first strains of his easy laughter. He was always laughing, my Geoff. That was what had first caught my heart.

Lord, should anything happen to him...

7pm

Oh praise God, the village chief brought back word from Geoff...All's well. Now, I can concentrate on my sewing and then rest.

Photo Credit: Source

Socioquette: Ps & Qs

Social niceties? Nah, not my thing. Tactical diplomacy? Uh uh, I'm bereft of that too. Small talk? Good heavens, no please, I'm fundamentally lacking in that aspect. So what social etiquette am I good at? Why, my Ps & Qs of course, the basics, the little courtesies, I don't joke with them and that's why it rubs me off the wrong way when people take them for granted -the little foxes that spoil the vine. In this instance, it's these often overlooked courtesies that kill would-be profitable relationships.

What would it hurt and who would it kill to say please and/or thank you? Nothing and no one. Most likely thing it may hurt might be your ego, just a wee bruise at that. Like seriously people, let's not overlook these little things.

Admittedly, I may not be so good at making small talk (some refer to it as 'polite conversation') hence some busybody some ones might leave with the impression that I'm stuck up. You see, that may be true cos my tongue actually gets stuck when it comes to social interactions -making small talk. It just refuses to untie itself from my mouth -even after meeting one baba who gave me some words to chew to aid in its loosening, to no avail, e no gree work- and you'd have noticed that if you weren't busy taking offence at my supposed 'coldness'.

Where have we missed it? Who, what, where is to blame. Society? Technology? Imperialism? (No, that's far fetched), something ought to be done and fast. A reorientation's highly needed and possibly, finishing schools like we had in the Victorian era be set up again.

Please, we shouldn't forget this little courtesies that were groomed into us as children in the name of I'm a boss, I'm a supervisor, I'm the president, no. It ought not be so, it reeks of bad manners, simple. So because the other person's a persona non grata, s/he's not deserving of the basics? Let's go back to the drawing board cos this has passed be careful.

Photo Credit: Google

Death's Last Call

Idly wondering what the hullabaloo was all about, Keinde angrily flipped through the pages of her book. The minutes were precious, she couldn't afford to miss her deadline.

The noise drew closer still and she could vaguely make out what the crowd was chanting

"Crucify him."

"Burn him."

"Kill him."

"We want Belialas."

Not again she groans. This was a blood thirsty lot, ever ready to kill innocent souls egged on by the brotherhood's apostolates. Who on Earth would prefer Belialas the terrible over whoever was been led to the slaughter? This fella they were burning or stoning or crucifying at this early hour must be one hardened soul.

Since moving to this neighborhood, it had been one lynching or the other. Her family had strongly resisted her relocating to such a neighbourhood they termed as scum. Even the name pointed  out to the hopelessness of it, Dead End Zone. She wondered whether the developers were high on something the day they came up with such name.

Many said the early settlers had had one misfortune or the other befall them and they had hurriedly fled considerably lesser than they had arrived, hence the name.

Whatever the story, Keinde couldn't be bothered. She was here on a mission and was going to see it through. The life of a Journalist was a perilous one, not to talk of that of an investigative journalist.

Word had reached her Organisation of the nefarious activities carried out by the Sect called The Brotherhood and she had been dispatched to go digging.

It was said that they were responsible for most of the disappearances and killings reported on the media and the neighbourhood lived under their shadow.

The crowd's chant intrudes into her thoughts. With a sigh of exasperation, she gets up to close the window but her hand freezes as looking out, she recognises the cause of the crowd's ire. What? It was the young Rabbi, a really charismatic fellow. She had sat in on a few of his teachings and had even interviewed him. He was one of the few who openly rebuked the activities of the brotherhood.

Surely there'd been a mistake? Such a nice man, what could he have done? And the crowd chose him over Belialas? No, something smelt fishy and that's when her journalistic instincts kicked in. She could feel strongly that this man's death was tied to her investigations.

She rushed back to her desk, grabbed her note pad, a pen and tape recorder and rushed out the door. This would make for a good story she thought.

Photo Credit: Google

MMC: An Unusual Worker

When news made the rounds that Ztembe had been sacked, there was a collective gasp of shock. No it couldn't be Ztembe. Ztembe the golden girl, the one who always pulled through with deadlines, the one who always brought in the big bucks. Everyone was in awe of her skills, even the most difficult of clients.

That Ztembe, getting the boot? No, it couldn't be, can't be. Everyone was certain there was a mix up somewhere. Everyone but Ochuko.

Theories were put forward and then discarded; maybe she'd had a fall in with management as Ztembe was one to talk when she ought to be silent.

Maybe Ochuko did finally pull some strings another conspiracy theorist postulated but that was quickly shot down. Ochuko would not do such a thing. Yes, there was bad blood between them but the most he could do was get her transferred to another branch, not outright sacking.

While speculations ran rife, no one bothered to ask the subject matter herself and she was quite enjoying the tall tales her little birds brought back to her.

Ztembe was quite unconcerned about the whole affair, all she thought of was that the day should end already. She had gotten into similar situations like this before, so this for her was a piece of cake and she would make mincemeat out of whoever came for her she had decided. Surprisingly, no one had approached her yet. As if they knew her state of mind.

Meanwhile, the conspiracy theorists were running out of fodder for their isms and nihisms and found themselves in a quandary; to approach or not to approach Ztembe, that was the question.

In another part of the office, Bimpe and Sempei are engaged in intense conversation.

"No, that's not what I heard," Sempei objects. Topic of discussion was Ztembe's sack.

"According to Zubi, you know Zubi now that works in HR?" She continues after Sempei nods in affirmation. "She said that management had re assigned Ztembe to PO and Ztembe turned it down being that, she was overqualified for such a position".

"So is that why they sacked her?" Sempei cuts in.

"Wait na, e never finish. Ztembe told them that instead of her taking up that position, she'd rather be sacked."

"Chei, that girl, that girl. That her mouth too sharp. So wetin kan happen?"

"Na the matter they still dey drag."

"But come o, I hear say she don go hire lawyer, say this tin wey management do dey against labour law. Na true?"

"I don't know o, but You know say Ztembe go school so e fit possible."

"Hmm," Sempei sighs, she looks thoughtful.
"Wetin you dey think?" Her friend asks.

She sighs again, "You know, I just they think am o, many tins wen dey dey do here no good at all. Take for instance, that three years I worked straight, no leave. E good?"

Bimbe has no answer for that. She was the kind of employee that asked no questions, as long as her salary was paid on time. She couldn't understand  Ztembe and her many fights with the management.

What she and most of her colleagues however failed to see was that in the long run, it would pay off not only for Ztembe, but for everyone else.

Photo Credit: wemagazineforwomen, Source